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Every Second

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There thirty-one million, five hundred and thirty-six thousand seconds in a year

And for every single one of those, I haven't stopped for a moment to just live

Every second seems like another one of "those days"

What I think "those days" look like to me is a man burning from within

It looks like black mist covering my eyes from seeing any color

It feels like an upset stomach, but that upset stomach has a migraine
And that migraine has sore body parts,
And those sore body parts have an upset stomach
And that upset stomach isn't upset over some expired food.
It's upset because that stomach has a broken heart

It smells like that one dish my family and I had a few years ago

Or was it nights

Or was it seconds

Or was it a dish my family and I never shared

Maybe it was the smell of the dinner my neighbors were having while I was laying in bed

In reality, it looks like a blob of emotion laying in bed

It feels like hell

And it smells like a slower less being

There thirty-one million, five hundred and thirty-six thousand seconds in a year

And no one other than the school counselor and my 7th grade Language Arts teacher bothered to ask me if I was okay

And for every second of that, I thought to myself "congratulations! You finally saw through my mask! Only around 200 more kids to go!"

Because that is the world we live in now

Because that's just the new trend

Because I fucking bet that everyone one of you mother fuckers can relate to this so well it feels like it's written about you

More and more of us kids are slipping through the floorboards of our own homes

More and more of us kids are living to be more and more respectful to each other

We have learned to live on the playgrounds as a family because when home we sure won't have one

We have learned that sticks and stones can break your bones but words can break your heart

We have all worked together to put on this fake mask to show the world

And you ask why?

It's because we haven't been able to be kids

We have been so caught up in fucking reality that imagination is just fucking bullshit

We've always known that the world isn't unicorns and fucking fairies.

There thirty-one million, five hundred and thirty-six thousand seconds in a year

And just for one, can I please be a kid

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