One day at a time..

Chapter 4: Thailand to Boise ~ Flashbacks

February 23, 2012

"Al..." I hear Charles' crackling voice on the other end of the phone.

"Charles? What's wrong?" I suddenly feel panic rising up inside of me. There is something wrong.

"I need you not to panic when I tell you this..." He says slowly.

Holy shit. What is going on? I just walked out of one of the places I was touring in Thailand when I realized I had four missed calls from Charles and two from Danny.

"Babe, what is it? What's going on?" I say to Charles, almost breathless.

"I know I talked to you yesterday, you know I'm in Boise, Idaho..." He begins.

"Charles Paul. Just tell me!!" I snap at him as I feel the panic inside me getting worse.

"Well, I am currently laying in a hospital bed somewhere in Boise."

My heart drops. Hospital bed? What the fuck happened.

"Danny and I were walking to get coffee..." he replies almost as if he was reading my mind and sensing my panic. "I tripped and passed out.. I'm okay. I busted my lip on the concrete but Danny saved me from any major accidents happening."

I start rambling. "You passed out? But why? You hit your lip? Are you okay? I need to find a plane to Boise. I need to fly out and see you."

"Al..." He starts to interrupt. His voice is still cracking, like he was sick or just woke up.

"What have the doctors said? I need to talk to Danny. Seriously, are you okay? I'll be on the next flight out of here." I continue rambling...

"Alli." He says again.

I'm still talking. "I'm gonna go back to the hotel and pack while I find a flight. Are they running tests? Let me know what's happening."

"Allison. Calm down."

I take a deep breath. "Char..." I say and my voice cracks. I feel myself break. What is wrong with my husband? "I'm scared. I miss you."

"Aw, baby, no." His voice comforts me from millions of miles away.

"Charles, I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about." I say trying to catch my breath as I continue crying.

"Al. Babe. Don't cry. Please don't cry. I'm okay. I just hurt my lip and I feel run down. They're running a few tests. I'm okay. I'm fine. Please, Alli. It's okay."

Just like that. I'm okay. He calms me down. I know I should be the one calming him down because he's the one that's hurt, but this is how it works. Even when he is weak, he keeps me strong. He is my rock.

"I don't want to ruin your trip. I am fine." He says softly.

I almost snap at him, "I want the next flight out of here."

"Allison." Charles says sternly.

"Okay, okay, Char. Okay." I sigh and add, "But I'm flying out tomorrow."

"Alright. I'm gonna go call my mom..." He says and I feel my heart break because I have to get off the phone with him.

"Yeah, yeah, right. I.. Umm... I'll call my mom too," I say and feel my voice break at the end.

"Alli, baby, I love you." Char's comforting voice says.

I take a deep breath, "I love you too."

After finishing my tour, I head back to the hotel room. I take out my phone to call my mom. Soon it's settled that her and Mrs. Trippy, Char's mom, are gonna fly out and be with Char by tomorrow.

I FaceTime Charles and see Danny and Travis sitting with him. I thank Danny about a thousand times for being with Char and making sure he's alright. Then a hard conversation comes up. Danny and Travis decide to take a walk to go find something to drink while Charles and I have a discussion.

"Char, have you vlogged today?" I ask suddenly.

"Yes. I'm just not sure what I'm going to include." He replies. I see his face contort and I can tell he's confused and hurt about this situation.

My heart clenched for my poor man, "This is a personal matter. It is up to you whether we vlog this experience or not. But keep in mind, this is what we signed up for. And we promised to be honest with our fans every step of the way, since day one. And this is documenting our lives. This is also for us, as much as it is for the fans."

"I know, Al. I'm just not sure what I should do. I'm scared. But I don't want the viewers to know I'm scared. But we're a community. I have to be honest with them. Someone out there may be going through the same thing..." His voice sounds pained.

"We're a family. The CTFxC is our family. We can include them in this or just inform them later. It's your decision, and I totally support you, 100%. And I know that the CTFxCers will forgive you if you choose not to tell them until later."

Finally, we decide on vlogging this experience. Charles goes for testing so we get off of FaceTime. Once I finish talking to Char, I buy my plane ticket for tomorrow, which will have me with him in a few days. I start to pack a little before deciding to go out and see some more of Thailand before leaving tomorrow. I vlog some of it but not all of it because I am still distracted.

I go back to the hotel room later that night and shower. I finally continue packing and get some rest.

~

Before flying out the next day, I talk to Charles and find out he actually had a seizure... caused by a brain tumor. DAMNIT. I felt the world beneath me crumbling. My heart felt like it was ripped from my chest. All I wanted was to be with Charles. But I never realized just how much we were in for...