One day at a time..

Chapter 15

[Charles]

NerdRock yells to me to me, "Are you looking for Alli?"

"Yeah, have you seen her?" I ask him.

"She went to the bus, man. Go talk to her, get her back. I'll make sure no one interrupts you two." He says.

"Thanks, dude!" I tell as I jog in the direction of the bus.

I yank the bus door open and walk in. I don't see her anywhere. But then I notice her laying in my bunk. Her eyes are shut but her cheeks glisten, telltale sign that she had been crying. I feel like such an ass because I know it has something to do with me."

"Al..." I say leaning against the bunks across from mine.

Her eyes flutter open and I see they are a deep blue, more so green, which only happens when she cries.

She suddenly sits up and I sink down to my knees in front of her. I reach for her hand but she pulls back.

"Charles... Don't." she says, barely a whisper.

"Alli, I... Why are you here?" I ask, looking away.

"We need to sort through some things," she says and the tears continue running down her cheeks.

"We couldn't do this over the phone?" I only ask because I know this will not turn out to be good.

"No..." she says quietly and looks away from me.

I sigh, "Well then, what is it?"

"Listen, I'm glad you are moving on with your life but you can't be rubbing it in my face all the time. I need to move on too, you know." She says matter of fact.

"Alli, I..."

"No, stop. I'm not done." she says cutting me off. "And you can't be shit talking me in front of the whole world. Do you know how much that hurt?"

"I do, I'm so sorry, I..." I begin.

"Shut up. I'm not fucking done talking! I will be moving on with my life, and I would appreciate it if you stopped being so damned confusing. You're talking shit on me one day and then the next you call me and act like an angel!? You can't do this shit!" she yells at me.

I sigh, "Alli, shut up, will you? I miss you, okay? I fucking miss you. I fucked shit up, I did. I know that. I hate myself every goddamn day for hurting you. But the person I hurt more than anyone is myself. I miss you so bad, it hurts. I love you Alli. I still love you." I say and with that, I lean forward and place my hands on the side of her face, pulling her lips to mine. At first, she doesn't kiss me back but eventually she does and every second we have spent apart suddenly seems to melt away as we make up for lost time.

I suddenly notice that she is wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans, her maroon CTFxC shirt with the cancer symbol, and a CTFxC is for haters hoodie. My hands slide up her back and twist in her hair as her hands slide around my back. I am suddenly unzipping her hoodie as we both lose our breaths.

But before I know it, she pulls away. "Charles I can't. I deserve to be happy. And I can't do that with you." She says as she begins crying again. She stands up and pushes me away as I try to grab her.

Next thing I know, I see the back of her brown hair as she walks out of the bus. I get up and chase her.

"Alli! I let you walk away once, I can't let you do it again." I yell after her.

She laughs through her tears, "This isn't a movie, Charles. It doesn't work like that." I see her tears spilling down her cheeks before she turns away and is gone.

Just like that, I let her go again. I feel more broken than I ever have. I walk back onto the bus and collapse into my bunk. I hug my pillow as I begin to cry into it. I have never cried as an adult as much as I have cried over Alli. I need to man up but I cant right now. I take a deep breath and that's when I smell it. My pillow smells like her. It smells like her perfume, her shampoo, and her familiar Alli smell. I close my eyes and pretend she is there. The smell is the only thing holding me together as I fall asleep.