One day at a time..

Chapter 16

What the hell just happened? I almost let him get to me. He can't really still love me. He has Allie, he has moved on. I spoke my mind and now Charles has to come to the realization that there will never be another chance for us to be happy together. We have hurt each other in so many ways that it is too late to bend without breaking. We are broken. Both as a couple, and individually.

I still feel his kiss on my lips but the fire inside of me dies down. I gave into his touch and kissed him back. Every part of me stood on end, burning like a wildfire, craving his touch. I wanted his body against mine. I just wanted to be close to him in all ways possible. But for one second, there was a moment of clarity that made me snap back to reality. I couldn't give into him. There is no way this man could ever give me what I want. We are at two separate places in our lives and it is too late to be happy with him. We had our turn, our fired burned bright while it lasted but nothing lasts forever.

I make my way out of Warped Tour and back to the hotel where I stayed last night. Packing my bag, I felt the tears slide down my face. Not because I was hurt, just because it is finally time to let this all go and allow myself to be happy. I grab my bag and make my way downstairs. I stop at the bar in the hotel and order a drink. Once I feel a little buzzed, just enough to let my mind relax, I walk out onto the street and catch a cab.

The cab drops me off at the airport where I buy a ticket for a flight back to Florida. Once I get home, it will be time to pack and then fly out to LA in a week for Vidcon.

As I sit, waiting for my flight, my mind starts to wonder. I think of the days that Char and I started flying everywhere. I think of when we were happy and then I think of when we started fighting. Just then, my phone buzzes. I look at the screen and see I have a text from Charles. Sliding the screen, I unlock my phone and read the text.

*You left again. I am so sorry for everything I have done. I know you don't wanna hear from me anymore but I just want to let you know that I am sorry. You have every right to move on and be happy. I understand I can't hold you back so I won't. I just want to remind you that I love you, and I always will. Best of luck, I hope you get all life has to offer. I do love you Alli, I hope I haven't hurt you too bad. I hate myself for everything I have fucked up... -Your Charmander*

My heart swells. That is the man I married. I knew he was in there somewhere. Charles is a good man, he always has been. He just has many layers just like everyone else. I hope he is happy with Allie because after everything we have been through, he doesn't deserve any of this shit. He may have hurt me, but I will never stop loving this man. I just have to learn to love someone else more.

I turn my phone off as I hear them call my flight and I board my plane back home. Time may have ran out for the life I imagined with Charles, but I still have other adventures waiting for me.

~

[Charles]

By this time, she is probably already on her way home. I have pushed her too far and I have hurt her far too many times but it is time that I acknowledge the fact that our time is over.

I type up a text to send to Alli and after taking a deep breath, I press send. If life ever offered another future for Alli and I, I would trade anything for it. But it looks like that is not the case so it is time to allow her to move on, and I will start a life with Allie.