One day at a time..

Chapter 11: Ghosts

[Charles]

I hear a vacuum running which wakes me up. I groan as I roll over, opening the curtain on my bunk.

"What the hell, Josh?!" I yell as NerdRock vaccums the area between our bunks.

"Sorry, man. It's a fucking mess in here," he says laughing.

After rolling out of my bunk, I make my way to the bathroom. I brush my teeth, standing in front of the mirror above the sink. After I am done brushing my teeth, I splash my face with cold water and stare at myself in the mirror. That's when I notice it; for the first time in weeks, I don't have large, dark circles under my eyes.

But that's when it hits me... We're in Boston. The city where I got my second surgery. Awake brain surgery to remove more of the tumor. This is the city that I walked around, exploring with Alli before and after my surgery. The city that I survived the surgery in. Where I went through rehab, learning to use my left hand again.

Shit. Today is going to be a rough day.

Even though we've played in Boston many times, they guys decide to all split up and go find shit to do. We're not on until 6:30 so we have most of the day to do whatever.

I decide to go walk the streets. Turns out, it was a bad idea.

First I walk passed The House of Blues where We The Kings played like two weeks before my surgery. Then I smell the hot dogs from Fenway Park. I silently laugh to myself as I remember all of us sneaking into a game. My heart hurts as I think of the days that Alli toured with us and we raised all kinds of hell.

Then I make the mistake of walking passed "The Shops at Prudential Center", the place with the statue of the a man jumping out front. I sit on the wall of a flower box in front of the statue as I remember jumping off of the wall. It was two days before my surgery and Alli started making fun of the jumping statue man. She started jumping in the air, imitating him as I took pictures. We both jumped off of the wall I am sitting on. I laugh as I remember trying to get a better picture than her, but, of course, Alli won, just like many other little competitions we had when we were together.

I suddenly remember Alli going make-up shopping and rubbing blue eyeshadow on my eyes in the middle of the mall we were in. I feel a smile spread across my lips.

I decide I need to get away from all of these memories. As I'm walking back to the bus, I pass the street corner where I almost walked into the street, in front of a moving car. Alli pulled me back off of the street and I kissed her for "saving my life".

So many memories flood my mind as I keep walking. I then pass the Apple store where Travis surprised me after my surgery. Alli talked to Travis and arranged it so that he surprised me. Man, I have fucking awesome friends. Friends who I have been treating like shit lately because all I do is focus on Allie, being pretend happy, and moving on with my life like Alli has. I've been a shitty person lately.

I remember the days after my surgery when Alli helped me regain control of my left hand. She worked through my rehab exercise with me, and supported me 110%. I feel the familiar pain in my chest as I miss her more than ever. She was my rock through it all and I don't know how I could've done it without the support I received from her and her family. Without Alli's love, I probably would not be here today. I pushed myself to get through it all so that Alli and I could just live our lives without the burden of my health issues, and so that we could live to be 100 years old with a thousand grandchildren.

I feel my throat tighten as I think of growing old with Alli. Having kids, watching them graduate high school, get married, have kids of their own. Then I picture a gray haired Alli sitting next to me, smiling just like she always did.

Things will never be the same. But I still thank God everyday for making sure Alli stuck around as long as she did. She stayed through all my health issues and I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't.

Finally, I make my way back to the bus, and eventually over to he stage. I laugh my ass off when I see that Duncan is wearing his "I Don't Know Where Charles Is" shirt. It's even funnier because no one knew where I was today.

I pull Danny aside before we go on stage. "Hey man, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, what's up?" he says, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"I just wanna say I'm sorry." I say looking away.

Danny suddenly looks confused, "For what?"

"For the seizures. I know it's scary shit. You were the only one with me when I had my first seizure and I probably would've bit the dust without you there. I just want to apologize for always fucking up your afternoons with this shit. I know it's scary shit and all dude, but I really am sorry for fucking up your plans all of the time. And I really appreciate what you did in Boise a couple years ago, when this all started."

Suddenly, Danny lets out a loud laugh. "Charles, man. Seriously? What the fuck? Dude, I always go so quiet because I hate seeing the shit you go through when you have one. It's fucking unfair that you have to go through this. And besides, it scares the shit out of me that I'll lose one of my brothers." He says, suddenly looking serious.

"Hey, man, I'm planning on sticking around and pissing you off a lot longer." I laugh, a real laugh, for the first time in a week.

He smiles "Alright, bro. Just try not to go anywhere, anytime soon. I still need someone to raise hell with."

We hug and suddenly, it's show time.

I grab my bass and my ear pieces before making my way to the stage. I laugh as Danny hits me with a drumstick. Travis starts towards the stage and we all follow. I look over my shoulder towards the side of the stage because I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

That's when I see her.

Gorgeous brown hair hanging just below her shoulders. The body that I've seen undressed so many times, the one that has been up against my own. The girl that has been burned into my brain.

Alli. Alli is here.