One day at a time..

Chapter 14

I was ready to run. I can't get these feelings back. I was finally starting to move on with my life without Charles. I couldn't go through all of this again. But I most certainly did not come all this way to just run away again.

After finally deciding that I need to sort through things with Charles, I walk back over the the stage. I ask Josiah and NerdRock where I can find the bus. They give me admittance before I head over to We The King's bus.

I open the door and walk onto the bus. Even though it isn't the same bus, I am flooded with memories of the times I went on parts of the tours with the guys.

I smile to myself as I walk out of the kitchen/living room area, and into the bunk area. I walk up to the bunk Charles has always claimed and pull open the curtain. Predictable Charles, choosing the same exact bunk. I see two Zoey and Marley toys sitting in his bunk, a dirty tshirt (typical Charles), a blanket, his MacBook, and a pillow with the girls on the pillow case.

Picking up the pillow, I squeeze it to my chest and breathe in his scent. I feel something inside me break as I sit on the bunk, still holding the pillow against me, and sob. I cry until I run out of tears and all I am left with is dry sobs. Finally I release the pillow and set it back in it's spot. I miss him. I miss everything about Charles. I even miss his all too familiar scent; a mix of his cologne, body wash, and sweat. I could never describe the scent to you, it's just Charles'. The man I gave my life to. The man I wanted a happy ever after with.

Suddenly I flash back to the day I found out he was cheating...

We had been fighting for weeks. Finally, we came to the decision to get a legal separation and spend time apart, in hopes that we would eventually fall back together. We had come to he decision about a week ago and I began slowly packing some of my things. Charles was a gentleman and let me have the bedroom while he slept on the couch. I started transferring some of my things to my mom's for the time being.

But suddenly, I was tipped off by one of our mutual friends that he was seen with a gorgeous blonde. They seemed close; they held hands, and laughed at inside jokes. Also, the person that informed me of this, told me they heard Charles call the girl Ally. At this point I shouldn't have cared because we decided on a separation, but this news destroyed me inside. When I heard all of this, Charles was out like he always was anymore.

So I decided that since he was already leaving me behind, I would do the same for him. I started throwing all of my clothes in garbage bags and packing up some of my essentials, deciding I would come back for the rest. I threw it all in the car and decided to take a quick shower. After I was done, I went around the house making sure that I took anything I wanted right away. As I was doing so, Charles walked through the door.

I stopped dead in my tracks and felt my mouth go slack. I tried to swallow and gathered up all of the courage that I had. "Where were you?" I ask quietly. Then I raise my voice, almost yelling, "Were you out with Ally?!"

He looks like a deer in headlights and then a hurt look crosses his face. I have never seem him look so lost. "Alli, I..." He began.

I threw my hand up immediately, "Save it Charles!!" I screamed at him.

"I only did it because I felt myself falling apart when I thought of you leaving!!" He yells as a tear runs down his face.

I feel my throat get tight as I begin crying. "Me leaving?! We just needed space because all we do anymore is this right here! Scream at each other!!" I throw my hands in the air, "But you went and fucked it up!! You went out and found yourself another woman!! Your random fucking girlfriend better make your ass happy because I am done!" I can't breathe because I am too busy having a breakdown at this point.

I look for Chico's leash and lead him to the car. As I do, Charles follows me, still fighting. "I didn't know how things would work out with Allie!" He screams.

"You can't go one fucking day without a girl at your side!" I scream and climb in the car.

"Alli, please," Charles says as his voice cracks. "I love you. Please don't go."

That is the last thing I heard before slamming the car door in his face as driving away. The last conversation I had with him before the phone call a couple weeks ago.

And today is the first day I've seen him in months. I have to stay strong and not give into him. I miss him with every ounce of my being but I can't go back to him. All we would do is break each other even more than we're already broken. Here goes nothing.

~

[Charles]

I turn around and she is gone. Alli is gone. I feel something inside of me break. As soon as we are done playing, I shove my bass into NerdRocks arms and start to look for her. She couldn't have left. I talked to her, she was real. She was here. I can't lose her again!!