Unspoken Love

Chapter 7

~Dinah Jane~

When I finish at Camilas house I leave early the next morning. I need to clear my head. If Im going to be going to school tomorrow Monday than I need to act like it. But Normani and Camila are spinning around in my head like crazy.

"I love you Dinah Jane."

"I love you Camila."

"I know this sounds crazy." Camila had said looking up at the sky. Then she brings her soft brown eyes back down to be mine. "But will you be my girlfriend?"

For a second it seemed all too real. I took her hand and kissed her softly. "Yes, Camila Cabello, yes I will."

That was yesterday night. And ever since then i cant get it out of my head. Camila Cabello is my girlfriend. Shes mine. And I love her. I love her so much it hurts. She means so much to me and it hasnt even been two months. Barely even a month.

But the only thing i cant explain is Normani. Why? Why after everything she did, after all the words she said, after how badly she took my heart and shattered it, why I still care? I care for her a lot. More than I should.

And I cant deny it. The racing heart. The sweaty palms. Normanis eyes make me weak in the knees with a single glance. But Camilas touch makes everything go blurry except her. They both initiate such intense feelings words simply cannot describe them.

The problem is they both do it.

Its not fair to them. I know it. But Normani doesnt even seem to care. Yet I want to chase after her. I want to take her in my arms and shield her from her dad. To punch him in the face and never let him hurt her again.

With Camila I feel at peace. I feel like Im the one safe. I feel like she protects me and I should only return the favor. Like we are roots of a tree. Dependant on eachother to survive and thrive.

Im so caught up in my thoughts I almost walk past the beach. Its the best place to walk and its literally around five. I left Mila a note saying Id gone to clear my head. I did a quick loop and began walking on the sand.

Its only a matter of time before I see her.

Normani stands by an old building. Somehwat burned down, somewhat dying. The planks are falling from their places, the patio is ruined. Normani stands in front of it. Wearing dark clothes stained in her blood.

Without any warning she slams her fist into the wood. The breaks on impact and Normani falls to her knees. She doesnt scream. She doesnt cry. She sits there. Her hands folded neatly on her lap. One hand of knuckles bleeding.

I slowly walk up. Her words were hurtful but shes just in a lot of pain. Its probably my whimsical mind making up things just because its her. I dont care though. Not anymore. When I get close enough I realise shes holding the knife. Its pressed to her wrist. Going deeper and deeper like shes trying to slice it off.

"Normani."

My voice is like ice as it sweeps over her. Her grip tightens on the knife. She stands swiftly and flings the knife into the sand.

"What the hell Dinah!? What more do I have to do? Have you not gotten the message? I hate you. I hate you and your annoying and worthless and you should just go die with Camila."

"Camila." I say softly.

Normani raises an eyebrow.

"You said her real name. Without insults. Not really directed for her at least."

She rolls her eyes. "Go Dinah. Go back to your girlfriend. Go be happy."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Gona sit here breaking this poor persons house all day?"

"You mean my old house? The one where I was raised? The one where my mom hated me? This was the house i was in all day long. My escape was school or dance. Everynight Id come home to get a lecture from my mom or dad. You know this house? The one where my mom was angry with me. She slapped me once. Just once. This is the house she to,d me I was a mistake and then she killed herself." Normani said.

Her words bring a grey cloud overhead. I move forward but she instantly moves back. I sigh and stand firm. "Im sorry about yesterday. Im sorry about your family but that is no reason to yell at the world and make everyone feel awful about themselves."

"Your right." She says sitting down. "Its not. But its for protection."

"From what?"

"From myself." Normani whispers.

I sit down beside her and this time she doesnt move away. "I always hurt the people I love Dinah, dont you see? The people who love me are the people who kill themselves. I destroy everything. Im a mistake. I caused so much pain."

"Listen to me." I say grabbing her hands. She jerks to the side but I loom her in the eyes. "Dont you ever doubt your worth. I dont ever want that. I saw my best friend. She wore a necklace of rope out by the apple tree. It was because she blamed herself. Doubted herself..." My voice trails off when I remember her.

Normani looks conflicted. As if she wants to help but she thinks she should push me away.

"Please Normani." I beg her. "Just let me in."

She shakes her head slowly then quickens the pace. She stands and almost slips on the wet deck but begins running. I chase after her. When she reaches for the blade I grab her wrist and pull her to me.

She stands there in the rain. It beats down hard. The skies are grey. Her eyes are a deep unreadble brown. The smell of blood stains the air around us. I feel my heart racing and we are so close that I can hear hers.

And I lean in and kiss her.