Unspoken Love

Chapter 9

~Camila Cabello~

There are tears in my eyes as I run. Maybe running will help solve my problems. I cant help but remember what I said to Normani. Shes my best friend. She betrayed me. And I went low. I used words against her. The same words that have been thrown at her all her life.

It occurs to me how much I never really knew. Not until now. When Normani came into my life I was lost and broken and lonely. She was happy. She was young beautiful healthy. Everything I could ever hope to be.

Now it seems as if we have switched. Or she adopted to my behaviors. Shes so distant and depressed now. I cant help but feel like its my fault. I shouldve stuck by her. And now more than ever I need to find her. To apologize.

But i didnt want to. Who gave her permission? To rip what was left of my heart, that tiny little hope she left me years ago, and shatter it? She can find love. I dont have a lot of time. And yet while Im thinking all of this I realise how much I dont deserve Dinah. That its so selfish to use cancer as a benifit and excuse to have Dinah.

"Camila stop."

Her voice doesnt waver. Not for a second. Its strong and demanding. Its not shameful. No, Normani Kordei would never be shameful. She could steal Dinah from me and get caught making out with her, hell even having sex with her, and her voice would stay the same. Its the voice of a guarded, of a broken.

I stop dead in my tracks but I dont turn around. Normani knows it to. I can see her practically rolling her eyes. Her foot steps crunch in the gravel under our feet but Im careful to keep facing forward. Ive always been too nice. Once I take a look at her lost eyes that Ive come to know so well, I'll give in.

"Mila come on."

"Why did you kiss her?" I ask without turning around.

"Face me."

"No."

"Are you afraid?" Theres an edge to her voice. A dare.

With a shakey breath I turn around but look just right to her eyes.

She knows it though. She shifts so that her dark brown eyes take mine and I cant look away. Her eyes have always been the window for me. They tell me her intentions her emotions. All the things she hides away.

"You have to make up wih Dinah." She tells me gently.

"Why? Dinah loves you-"

"And you." Normani finishes. "I heard her. I have forever Camila. You and I both know thats one thing you dont have. And you need to expierence a life you deserve before you die. If you dont I wont ever forgive myself."

Her breathing is slow and shallow. Her eyes are clouded.

"Why? I still dont understand. You both belong together. Normani she is so concerned about you. She loves you. I still dont think you understand. You could attack her with all the fucking words you want. Its not going to change her feelings."

"Thats one reason we both love her." Normani half smiles. "Because shes a fighter. She believes, in both of us."

"But she deserves you-"

"No you think I need her. But I dont. You dont." She places a hand over my heart. "I feel your heart. Its racing. And not because of running. Dinah gives you that reason to live. Im not taking it away."

I capture Normanis hand. "If I apologize promise me something."

"Anything."

I flip over her hand so that her wrist is expoused. Her pain and scars. She narrows her eyes and they darken noticably. I swallow my fear and put on a face. They say you never need confidence. Not really. If you can fake it thats all that matters. Because if you do something so long, you start to believe it.

"Stop."

She nods and I turn away. Already wishing to go to Dinah. I begin running and Im taking off toward her house when I hear Normanis words travel through the air. They are faint and I can barely make them out. Dismissing it I keep running.

But what I didnt know was that I was going to pay for it later on.

"But promises are made to be broken."

~~~~~

Dinah is sitting on her porch. The tears have stopped and she just looks angry. Angry at the world, at herself, but mostly at normani. I can tell. Everyone wants a scapegoat when they are to blame. She is no different. Its a fatal flaw we all have. Blaming others. But its good to see it. It shows me that shes human.

When she hears me she looks up then instantly looks back down. Tears streaming her face. I calmly sit down beside her and take her hand in mine. Its ice cold.

"Im sorry."

I give her a small laugh. "I should be the one apologizing."

"For what? Im the one that cheated."

"But I over reacted. She was broken and hurt and you needed to show her that she was loved."

Dinah stands. "Im sorry Camila. Im the one that messed up and I cant destroy you. I cant. You feel so heartbroken and yet take the blame for what I did. Im sorry. But can you leave? I just need you to go home and live. Youd be better off without me."

Before I can protest she runs inside. I sigh and stand. The walk home is short and I only get maybe five feet from her house when I hear the scream. Its Dinahs. Forgetting everything I run inside her house.

She stares into the fire place. A fire poker on the ground, slightly red and smelling slightly if burning flesh. Dinahs hand is in front of her. Red. Burning, flamming, red. I scream. A few tears fall from her eyes.

"Dinah!"

But her eyes never leave the fire. I grab a rag from the sink and get cold water. Pressing it to her hand. She doesnt flinch. She doesnt do anything. So I do the one thing that will get her attention. I lean in a kiss her.

Its soft. Its slow. Its perfect. Her lips instantly sink into mine. So sweet. Its a taste I could never live without. A taste I would die for. She smiles into the kiss and when we pull away I take her in my arms.

"Your forgiven Dinah. But please. Dont hurt yourself ever again."

"I wont." She tells me. "I promise."