Breaking The Ice

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TJ's POV

The second my lips met Harry's the feeling of pure bliss came over me, almost like it was some kind of accumulation of feelings I didn't know I had. It was as if months of pent up tension rolled out of me, and I hadn't even known it was there. I could feel his heart racing under my palm as it rested on his chest, giving me an indication that he was reacting to me the same way I was to him, but that was the only thing I could notice as I got lost in the overwhelming feeling that was rushing through me.

His lips were plump and soft against mine, even more perfect than I could have imagined, but I only had a few seconds to enjoy them before I felt him move his hands to my shoulders and gently push me back.

"Teej..." He said breathlessly, looking down at me with a look I could only describe as guilt.

I stared back at him, breathless with my mouth slightly parted as I realized what exactly was happening, the horror of his rejection sinking in. My heart sank as he studied my face, embarrassment immediately taking over me and making me feel sick. I took a deep breath and exhaled, looking down at my feet and closing my eyes, wondering what the hell had gotten into me.

He reached up and softly tucked my hair behind my ear, running his fingers over my cheek before he dropped his hand to his side. It was a simple gesture that I normally wouldn't have thought twice about, but it suddenly felt like some kind of pity, and it made my entire body wince.

I swallowed hard as I waited for him to say something, to give me some kind of reason as to why he pulled away, but at the same time I didn't really want one.

"Let's just go to bed, okay?" He said softly, leaning forward to press his lips to my forehead before he took my hand and started to lead me upstairs.

I closed my eyes as I followed behind him, cursing myself for what I'd just done, wondering how the hell I was ever gonna look him in the face again. It was the most awkward moment of my entire life, and I had no idea how to handle it. His hand gripped mine as he led me out of the kitchen, turning the corner before I stumbled in the hall right in front of the stairs.

It was a nice reminder of how drunk I was, and that maybe in the morning it wouldn't be as bad as I thought. Maybe I could boil it down to a drunken mistake and Harry and I could laugh about it over breakfast, recall it as some wild thanksgiving story for years to come. It was a long-shot, but it made me feel slightly better, so I decided to go with it.

"Come on." Harry chuckled as he pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around my torso to keep me steady as he helped me up the stairs.

He was so strong, and sturdy, and the only thing I could think about was how much I loved the feeling of his arms around me. It was doing nothing to help my situation, the strong way he held me, the firmness of his chest against my back, none of it did anything to help the fact that I had just made a complete idiot out of myself. Yet somehow, I still wanted him.

I wanted to be close to him, to feel him against me. I felt so stupid, and embarrassed, and I wanted the comfort that he so often brought me. It was insane to me how the person who I suddenly wanted to hide from, who I couldn't look in the eye, was also the only person who could somehow make me feel better. It was like some kind of fucked up paradox that I couldn't understand, and luckily I was drunk enough that I knew it hadn't all completely registered yet.

He led me into his room and sat me on the bed, grabbing one of his t-shirts from his bag and handing it to me to put on before he disappeared into the bathroom to brush his teeth. His scent wafted up from it, the familiar and comforting smell making me absentmindedly bring it to my face and inhale it, before I shook my head at myself and tried to snap out of it.