Breaking The Ice

New World

TJ's POV

"Babe, you almost ready?" Harry called down the hall as I rummaged around my room, wondering what else I might need, before he poked his head in the door and smiled knowingly at me.

"Um, yeah. I think so." I said, the strange feeling in my stomach making my mind feel a little unorganized.

Harry chuckled to himself as he walked into the room, taking my hands in his and bringing them up to his chest as he looked down at me, just staring at me like he knew exactly why I was taking so long.

"Teej, this is supposed to be fun." He smiled, reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear.

"I know, and it will be, I just..." I sighed. "It's never been a fun experience for me. Everything to do with shoes and dresses and events just makes me nervous, I've never done any of this without my mother making me feel like shit."

"I know, but this is different." He said softly. "You're gonna be with Brielle and Chels, you guys are just gonna hang out and find something for you to wear. No pressure. Your mom has nothing to do with this, I just want you to enjoy yourself."

"I...don't know how." I chuckled, well aware of how ridiculous that sounded. "This is all new for me, and I know I'm being a spaz, but I just want to look good for you and not embarrass you. I have literally never gone to an event that didn't end up with me being a disappointment somehow."

"Well first of all, you could never embarrass or disappoint me so don't ever say that garbage again." He scoffed. "Secondly, I don't care what you wear, I just want you there with me. Besides, I'd still think you're the most beautiful woman in the room, even if you wore a potato sack."

"Stop saying things like that." I whined, throwing my head into his chest. "It makes me feel so awkward."

"I only speak the truth." He chuckled as he pulled me away and made me look at him. "My point is that I want you to feel beautiful, babe. I want you to wear something that makes you feel special and sexy and makes you feel good about yourself. I know your mom always gave you shit about that stuff, but this is your chance to do it differently."

I took a deep breath as I looked up at him, doing my best to push down all of the insecurities and inadequacies I felt. I knew how silly it was that I had actual anxiety over picking a dress, but that kind of thing had never been a positive experience for me. My mother had always made sure I had the best and most in demand dresses, often custom made, but that never stopped her from taking an extra jab at me whenever she had the chance. It was never the dress, or the outfit she had a problem with, it was always me.

I always ruined the perfect dress she'd chosen by doing my hair wrong, or not accessorising properly, and if I'd managed to somehow do that correctly she'd make some comment about how I didn't wear the dress well because my body wasn't the right shape. I knew that I'd been making a lot of really good strides toward moving past those things, being aware of it all and trying to look forward, but something as simple as finding a dress for Harry's awards show had brought it all back like it was yesterday.

"I know, I want it to be fun. I wanna get dressed up and feel pretty...it's just that I spent so much time worrying about what she would want, what would minimize her judgements, just trying to do it all the way she wanted me to...that I never even thought about what I liked or wanted. Now that I can choose whatever I want...I just don't know what that is." I sighed.

"The only way you're gonna figure it out is to get your cute little butt in that car and let me take you over there." He smiled. "Just drink some wine, eat some food and try on some dresses until you find one you like. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself, just have fun with it."