Breaking The Ice

Frozen

TJ's POV

I awoke to the sound of the boys coming down the hall like a herd of elephants, laughing as they no doubt shoved each other into the walls and made jokes about some reference to basketball that I wasn't about to understand, and groaned as I rolled over to find I was alone in Harry's bed.

It wasn't surprising, considering it had been that way for the past few mornings, Harry getting up early to go run and do his best to release some frustration at the idea that he still hadn't been reinstated to play yet. I knew he was trying to be positive, to just be a good teammate and support the rest of us, but it wasn't hard to see that not being able to play was eating him alive.

I could see it weighing on him as the days passed, every time his phone would ring he'd get this glimmer of hope in his eye that it would be Tanner, before his face would fall when he realized it was someone else. His interactions with people became more forced as he tried to put on a happy face, encouraging the rest of us to have a good game or kill it at practice, and with every minute that passed it felt like he was losing hope he'd ever be able to come back.

The boys and I had tried to be as positive as we could, telling him he'd be back as soon as they sorted out what they needed to, but as players we all knew how shitty he must have felt. When you live and breathe the game as much as most of us do, not playing is like not having enough oxygen, like you walk around with just enough to survive but you never really feel alive. When you don't have that release to get out all of your frustrations, or that one place where you feel at peace, everything just starts to build up and you've got nowhere to put all that energy.

And that was why he'd been up every morning at 5am for a run.

Harry had always been dedicated to his training, knowing it was necessary to play at the level he wanted to. He was talented, and could outplay almost anyone else in the league, but he never rested on that talent. He never sat back and took the easy way out, just doing what came naturally to him, he always pushed himself to be the best he could. He put everything into it, and without hockey I knew he was starting to feel like it was all for nothing.

He'd even been throwing himself into his studies, reading extra books and taking more notes, doing anything to keep his mind off the fact that he was missing out on a chunk of his season. The fact that he had to watch the team struggle every game on TV while he just sat around was almost too much for him to take, and even though he'd never say it out loud, we all knew he was struggling.

On top of that, the questions surrounding his absence were starting to be a little more direct. He'd officially missed five games, and the media was starting to question if it was more than just being sick. My suspension had been up before the last game, and it had been a nightmare getting in and out of that place with all the questions being thrown at me as to why I hadn't been playing. Considering most people didn't care what I did unless I screwed something up, the fact that a player as popular and well-respected as Harry seemed to be MIA was turning it all into a bit of a circus.

None of us could figure out what the hell Tanner was up to, but the fact that Harry had done nothing wrong and still wasn't resinstated only confirmed that he had a plan for this team that he didn't want anyone getting in the way of.

The dorm was eerily quiet as I layed there staring at the ceiling in Harry's room, hearing the boys leave as the silence settled into the air. I was so worried about him, feeling helpless and lost as to how to make it any easier on him, until I heard the front door open and knew that he was home.

I pulled myself out of bed and padded down to the kitchen, finding him staring blankly at the wall with a bottle of water in his hand, looking sad and defeated as he leaned against the counter.