Breaking The Ice

Front Row Seat

TJ's POV

I stood anxiously wringing my hands in front of me, standing in the middle of the living room of our dorm, while my roommates sat in front of me wondering what the hell I'd gathered them there for. Niall, Liam and Shawn had all arrived home from Christmas break in time to celebrate New Years, and I had yet to tell them about all of the things that had unfolded while they'd been gone.

I knew that it was only a matter of time before my face was splashed all over the media for multiple reasons, and I wanted to give them a courtesy of a heads up before they were inundated with requests for comments on things that they were currently unaware of. I didn't like the idea of them being bothered with increased attention due to my own personal problems, but I also wasn't about to feel guilty for things that I had nothing to do with. I not only needed to let them know that my mother was responsible for what happened to Harry and Brielle, but I needed to fill them in on what had been going on with Tanner.

It wasn't like the media wouldn't eat it up the second they caught wind of it, and if things went as planned Tanner would be splashed across the front page while the whole world discovered just how much of a pervert he really was. I wasn't going to be quiet about it anymore, or sweep it under the rug, but that meant I had to be honest about the things that had happened. I had to tell them what I'd been dealing with, why I hadn't spoken up, and just how much they were unaware of.

In my new quest to better myself, I realized that I had to start letting the people who cared about me know how I felt about things. Not only that, I needed them to understand why I felt that way. I needed them to know how certain things affected me, to make them aware of things, and to hopefully start a conversation that would help me move us all forward into a different kind of culture.

I'd asked Chelsea to come and be there while I filled them in, which was kind of hard for me in itself to ask for support, but I figured it might be nice to have another girl there to clarify if I wasn't explaining myself well. Her and Harry were sat on the other couch, both well aware that it was something I needed to explain for myself, but there for moral support if I decided I needed it.

All of our heads shot toward the hallway when we heard the front door open, Rex appearing a few seconds later and stopping dead in his tracks when he noticed we were all staring at him.

"What's up....?" He asked slowly.

"I think we're all wondering the same thing." Niall said as he turned to look at me, Rex carefully making his way to sit beside Liam on the couch. "Apparently Mouse has something to tell us."

"What's goin on, Teej?" He asked worriedly, looking around and taking note of who was in the room. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, I mean...no, but it will be...I think." I said, swallowing hard as I looked at them, watching the confusion take over their features.

It just wasn't like me to tell anyone except Harry or Louis how I felt about anything, let alone stand there in a room full of people and express myself. I wasn't even sure how to do it, I just knew I needed to.

"Just spit it out, Teej." Liam sighed. "You're freaking me out."

"Last time we went on break Tommo almost died." Shawn piped up. "I'm starting to think we should just never leave."

They all looked around at each other worriedly, obviously hoping that whatever I had to say didn't mean that something else that bad had happened, before they returned their attention to me and did their best to wait patiently.

"I just...I have a lot to say, and I just need you guys to listen to me." I said, taking a deep breath. "Please just...let me get this out, because you all know I don't really talk about things and this is really hard for me. I'm really trying to be different, and this is important to me."