Breaking The Ice

Another Way

Harry's POV

I hadn't slept in two days.

I just laid there, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out how the hell any of this was happening to me. I thought I'd been doing all the right things, staying out of trouble and moving forward in my life, and now it seemed like none of the work I'd been putting in had gotten me anywhere.

The past 48 hours had been absolute hell, my mind a twisted mess that failed to comprehend what it could all mean, and as usual the only thing that even began to help me settle it was TJ. I laid there beside to her, trying to memorize every single detail of the way she felt next to me as she slept. She'd refused to leave me after we'd finished talking, pledging her unwavering belief in my innocence before practically cried herself to sleep, telling me over and over again that she knew I hadn't done what they said I did, that she would do whatever it took to make it right, and that she would have my back no matter what happened. I can't say that I was surprised by her loyalty, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wondered how she would feel about me being accused of something so horrific.

I'd never met anyone like her, someone so willing to do whatever she had to in order to protect the people she cared about, refusing to ever take anything for herself. She would barely accept a compliment let alone help from anyone, but there she was pledging her indestructible loyalty to me like I'd somehow done something to earn that honor. I wouldn't have blamed her if she'd turned her back on me, shit at that point I wanted to turn my back on myself, but she showed up for me just like she always did.

My mind was spinning, completely lost with a million thoughts running through it, but TJ seemed to be the only thing I could focus on. I watched her softly breathe in and out, her breath fanning across my chest as I held her, her cheeks still a little blotchy from crying so much. She truly was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, her long auburn hair draped over her shoulder as I softly ran my fingers through it. I couldn't decide if her inability to see how amazing she was drove me crazy or if it was yet another one of those endearing qualities she had, but it didn't really matter because like everything else about her I just couldn't seem to get enough of it.

I was doing my best to push it all from my mind, to just look at her and try to focus on something good, but it all just kept creeping in on me. Aside from the obvious fact that getting shipped back to England would destroy any chances of me ever playing professional hockey and ensure that I never got an education or made anything of myself, I'd be thousands of miles away from Teej and a life that I hadn't realized I wanted until it was threatened to be taken away.

When I'd tried out for that roster spot, I'd dreamed of playing college hockey. I saw it as my shot, my one chance at a future after I'd fucked everything up. It was my last option, and I swore to myself I'd make it count. I wanted to redeem myself to show my parents that everything they'd been through, the hell I'd inflicted upon them, that I was sorry. I just wanted them to be proud of me, to let them know that their sacrifices weren't for nothing, that I would take care of them after they'd done their best to take care of me.

And now I figured it was only a couple of days before I'd have to call them and tell them that I had not only fucked it all up, but that I could very well go to jail for something so horrendous that I couldn't even bring myself to say it out loud.

It was by far the most fucked up, hurtful thing that had ever been said about me, and I'd done a lot of fucked up things in my life. I'd made a lot of mistakes, hurt a lot of people, but what Brielle was saying I did was something that I couldn't even bring myself to understand. I couldn't even let myself think about it, the thought alone making me want to throw up.