Teach Me Kōshi || Sugawara x Reader

4: Break-down

Over the next week, Hinata began teaching me about positions or the names of special players like a setter or libero. He tried teaching me things like how to hit the ball, or how to set up a spike from a set, but his vocabulary mostly consisted of words like "WHOOSH, WHAPAH, or BAM!!"
So it was more than a little difficult to comprehend.

Hinata never really took things seriously unless we spoke about dramatic things like games or nationals. His face would go all solemn and serious when I would mention how hard it is to become qualified for things like that, and he'd mention how determined he was to do this.

After a couple hours of training I sat against the gym wall, guzzling down pints of water. I was a hot mess. My previously tied-up h/c hair was cascading down my sweaty face, but I didn't really care. Hinata was laying across my lap like a dog, looking up at the roof with thought.

"Do you ever regret coming here?" He asked, taking a drink from his water bottle. "Sometimes." I answered with a long sigh.

"I feel like moving here was both a beginning and an end. I barely have contact with any of my old friends or anything. It's just like everything up to now was a huge blur. Now that I'm going to Jale, and trying to learn volleyball at the same time? It's all too much."

Before I knew it, silent tears slid down my face. It was like the stress of these past few months all came back at once.

Hinata laughed and punched my shoulder playfully. "Cheer up Y/N!" He spat in my face and laughed. "Don't be so weak!"

I felt my fists tighten as he spoke. They were words I didn't need nor want to hear. My knuckles whitened and my eyes darkened. "What do you mean?" I sniffled. Hinata stood up with a chuckle and picked up one of the stray volleyballs beside us, bouncing it from one hand to another.

"Cmon! Don't sit around crying like a baby all day! You look so depressed!"

Because I am?

That's what I wanted to say, but instead I silently stood up, and threw my water bottle at Hinata in a shaky fit of anger.

"And what exactly would you know about moving miles away from your home?" I whispered. I visibly shook as I glared at him, venom striking my every word.

I knew I wasn't emotionally stable enough to talk this through, and I'd probably end up hurting him if I stayed any longer. Without another word, I stormed out of the gym, slamming the large metal door behind me.

The moment he was out of sight, my knees buckled and I fell to the ground, sobbing quietly. I didn't care if anyone seen me, which seemed unlikely as it was a Saturday and the school was empty only for a few teachers in the classrooms.

I ran to the cherry blossom tree, choking on my tears as I collapsed onto the ground in a panicky fit.

"Please. Not now." I whispered to myself. I looked down at my pale hands that felt like water.

"Y/N?"

I was so dizzy I barely even noticed Sugawara walk up behind me. I felt his soft hand on my shoulder, which I shuddered away from in a state of anxiety.

"Hey- Y/N it's just me." He cooed, kneeling down beside me. I looked up at him, too weak to be embarrassed at the state I was in. I couldn't talk, I didn't want to, and he knew that.

He pulled me in beside him and told me to breathe. My shallow and quick breaths became slow and deep. I didn't even care how I barely knew this boy and he was hugging me, I needed it.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, burying my head into his shoulder. I felt him stiffen slightly, but eventually relax into it.

Sugawara's POV

What's going on?!

I had a sobbing, beautiful girl burying her face into my chest and hugging me. It felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time.

"Y/N" I whispered, holding her shoulders and straightening her up. "You're okay. Do you wanna talk about it?" I had no idea what came over me. She's unstable, why do I want to kiss her? I can't.

She sighed, wiping her face clean with a little giggle. "I don't know... I just- it was like weeks of anxiety attached me at once." I nodded, feeling nothing but empathy as she looked at the grass. Her face blushed a bright pink as she realized what had just happened.

"Oh crap- I-I'm super sorry! I didn't mean to- AGHH!" She flung her body back onto the grass in embarrassment. I chuckled, watching her entire body shake as she laughed along with me.

It was a moment I will never forget.