Teach Me Kōshi || Sugawara x Reader

12: It's all gonna be okay.

Y/N's POV

It was a peaceful walk from the school. I was parked quite far away, but I didn't really mind. I had my earphones in, playing the soft music of "Couple Of Kids" by Maggie Linderson.

"Y/N-Chan!"

I swung my head around to face a sweaty, panting Hinata. He was grinning happily from ear to ear, his knees shaking slightly from excitement or maybe exhaustion.

How far did he run?

"Hey kiddo!" I chuckled, taking out my earphones. "What's up?" I asked, looking down at his slightly hysteric smile. He seemed more energetic than usual, if that was possible. "I can't coach you anymore." He grinned.

Bippity boppity back the fuck up.

"Don't panic! I did you a favor!" I absentmindedly tightened my grip on my earphones. Where was he going with this? "What the hell are you talking about, Shoyo?" I growled, my body tensing. Hinata took a few steps back and placed both of his hands in front of him.

"Easy now Y/N. Let me finish!" He chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I can't bring you on as a setter, maybe a spiker at most. In fact I'm not really qualified to teach at all, but I know who can!" I visibly relaxed, loosening the grip on my earphones.

"Oh." I sighed, running a hand through my (h/c) hair in shame. "Sorry. Continue." Hinata shrugged my apology off and his grin formed into a smirk.

"Koushi Sugawara."

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"I uh- I dunno Hinata- I mean, are you sure?" I groaned inwardly at how awkward I sounded. In no way whatsoever was Suga a bad guy. In fact, him teaching me how to set would probably help me so much more than learning from Hinata. Hinata, however, seems to forget I can't really socialize with Suga without turning into a hot mess.

My thoughts were interrupted by Hinata's manic laugh. "Of course! He even suggested it, silly!" He punched my arm with a smirk. "I bet you can't wait now Y/N. With a teacher like him you'll definitely make it onto the team."
I gave a small nod, my hands shaking as I placed my earbuds back in. "O-Okay." I smiled. "Sure."

I eventually reached my bike, and by then Hinata had ran off to join his friend Kagayama while they walked home together. My entire head was a mess. Suddenly the comforting notes of "Portland, Maine" by Donovan Woods had turned sour and harsh.

No. Please.

I flung my schoolbag off of my back and began rooting through it. "Where the fuck are they?!" I screamed. Clutching the bag in a shaky fit of panic. I zipped up my bag and flung it across the parking lot, leaning up against my bike.

Breathe, Y/N. You're okay. It's going to be fine. What are you panicking about anyway? This is an amazing opportunity to get better at Volleyball. Why are you upset about it?

I slowly fell to the ground. I felt my breathing slow and my eyes slowly close. I couldn't even hear the world around me. It was like all I could feel was the cold metal of my bike against my back and the ground underneath my legs as I sat on the rocky parking lot floor.

"Y/N."

I jumped, my breath already beginning to quicken as I opened my eyes in surprise. I was faced with a concerned-looking Suga, holding my bag out to me. "Here." He sighed, sitting on the ground beside me. I didn't even have time to think about how stupid I felt. I pulled his jacket closer around me with one hand, and took my bag with the other. "Thank you." I mumbled, placing the bag on the other side of me.

We didn't really talk for a few minutes. We just sat there, looking up at the clouds. I didn't even have to explain why I was a shaking mess. He already knew. "Y/N.." he whispered, digging deep into his pocket. "I found these on the floor of Mr.Faye's classroom. I should've given them back to you sooner...I just...panicked." He pulled out a small, plastic container, with a plastic sticker that read 'Y/L/N, Y/N. Antidepressants, taken once a day at most. Emergencies Only.'

My body stiffened as I snatched them out of his hand, unzipping my bag and throwing them in. "Listen I understand-" He began. Suddenly, I felt warm, salty tears running down my face silently.

"No you fucking don't." I growled. My voice quavering with anger. I stood up slowly, careful not to topple over. My entire brain felt fuzzy and unstable. l swung my bag over my back and glared at him in annoyance. "Don't even act like you know how I feel. I'm sick of people saying that."

Even as I spoke I knew I was being unfair. Suga didn't do anything wrong. It was my fault.

It's always my fault.

Suga clambered to his feet, stumbling slightly." Y/N...please." He spoke softly, taking a few tentative steps towards me. I screamed, pushing him back in anger and climbing onto my bike. "Y/N!" He was raising his voice now, fear brimming the edges of his hazel eyes.

"If you get on that bike and drive off, you will crash. You're not thinking straight. Please." He pleaded. "Talk to me...I'll listen... I'll hear you out. I'll do anything to stop you from driving off like this." He whimpered, holding his hand out to help me off my bike.

I broke down taking his hand and lifting my leg off of the bike, collapsing into his chest, a sobbing mess. "I'm so sorry." I whispered. I clutched his shirt tightly.

Sugawara's POV

Why is she apologizing?

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer. I felt her body shake as she cried. It nearly broke my heart.

"Shh.." I whispered, stroking her shiny (h/c) hair. "You're okay. It's all gonna be okay." She nodded into my shirt and I leaned my head on hers.

She stopped for a moment, looking up into my eyes. Her body shook slightly as she released her grip on my shirt. Her hand traveled up to my cheek, which she stroked with her thumb.

I can't kiss her. She's not thinking straight.

"Kōshi." She whispered. My heart leaped out of my chest. She never used my first name before. It was... special, when she said it. I desperately wanted to lean down and match her lips with my own, but I couldn't. It wouldn't be fair.

I placed my hand on hers, moving it away from my cheek and kissing her knuckle softly. "Wait. You aren't thinking straight." Her eyes flashed with hurt, and I mentally kicked myself for hurting her. I smiled.

"If I kiss you, I want you to be 100% sober. I need your heart to be in it." I whispered, tracing down her spine with my index finger. She whimpered slightly, but nodded.

"Okay."

I felt her body relax into my arms, and I massaged her soft (h/c) hair between my fingers. "I'm never going to pretend that I understand, Y/N." I whispered. "But I'll always be here to help."

—

HES SUCH A GENTLEMAN I CANT OOF -Bluu xxx