Biggest Wattpad Pet Peeves

Scatological Humor

Dedicated to GabbyGirl9815 for suggesting this rant.

I'm using this title (which I learned in lit after reading Gulliver's Travels) to encompass all types of crude jokes, even though it doesn't actually apply to many of them.

I have been reminded by someone (who shall remain unnamed at this time as I don't know if they wish to be anonymous or not) to mention that this rant does not apply to R-rated stories. Because with those, I can see the rating and steer clear of the story if I wish to avoid this type of thing. This is about stories where they randomly, unexpectedly, and unnecessarily appear.

Ugh. Just why do Wattpad stories have such perverted content sometimes? It's enough to make a grown man cry. Or heck, maybe even ME. (If you don't know, I don't really cry, even if I'm very sad. Except for sometimes I randomly get extremely emotional. It's quite sporadic.) You know what, let's just leave it at a grown man and move on. Makes life easier.

So why do people keep making perverted jokes in their story? I personally do not see what's so funny about them. Why do they feel the need to crack jokes about, say, a certain male body part in the crudest way possible? I mean, if a girl kicks a guy who's attacking her "where the sun don't shine" or "you know where", that's a little better. But every other second? When it's totally unnecessary? Why? Just why do you do this to me? I'm not perverted like some people. I don't like reading about those things.

And what's with all the "that's what she said" jokes and stuff? Why do some of these stories contain written porn? And some of them are written by really young authors too! I'm so done.

To authors who include this: it doesn't make me like you very much, nor does it make me want to read your works. End of.

Don't be perverted. Get rid of crude humor. Switch to non-crude, actually-funny humor.

Don't get body slammed by a lowland gorilla. Get rid of cable. Switch to DirecTV. Anyone see that one? I saw it all the time during the Sochi Olympics. Was anybody else addicted to them? I got really distracted by it when I was supposed to be doing homework. I loved the skating. But I was bummed that Shaun White didn't get a medal.

Ahem. Anyways.

So yeah, don't use crude humor.

Sorry, I didn't know how to make this one terribly funny or long, but it did need to be said. So I said it.