Biggest Wattpad Pet Peeves

Déjà vu, part 2

Have you ever gotten that feeling of déjà vu while reading a story? You know, like "Wow, I think I've seen this same character so many times in other stories!" You have. Most likely. Unless it's something random like a purple striped mermaid fairy princess, and you happen to enjoy reading stories about purple striped mermaid fairy princesses.

I'm just going to list a character sketch of all of them for you now (sorry, no mermaid fairy princesses, purple striped or not, on this list). If I miss any, be sure to let me know so I can add them in!

First of all, there's the female protagonist. While she thinks she is completely ordinary, or maybe even ugly, this is not the case. She is, in actuality, drop-dead gorgeous. She's just insecure, despite being constantly told by the main love interest how beautiful she is, even without makeup. Often, she's a complete pushover, letting the guy tell her what to do (it'll make more sense when I write on it in a separate rant later).

The main female antagonist is always a blonde cheerleader. She is most often found dressed in really short shorts or skirts and tops with really low necklines. She wears her makeup caked on an inch thick, her hair is a work of art in itself, and her heels are a foot high. She has dozens of guys fawning over her, but not to worry - she's not playing with all of them (well, not blatantly, at least). She's got her eyes set on one guy, who of course, is the protagonist's love interest. In stories where she is involved, he is either A) her ex, B) her boyfriend and ex-to-be, or C) the most popular guy in school. She also has a couple of 'henchmen', AKA girls who follow her everywhere and agree with everything she says and does.

There's often a secondary female antagonist as well. She's a waitress, and she's always conveniently serving the protagonist as she comes to that restaurant on a date with the main love interest. She tends to flirt excessively with the love interest while shooting an overload of glares at the jealous protagonist.

There's the bad boy, who 99 out of 100 times is the main love interest (and when he is, the protagonist is automatically a shy, quiet, good girl - AKA his polar opposite. I guess opposites DO attract). He is loud, rude, mean, pushy, and a whole list of other bad traits - until he meets the protagonist and falls in love with her. Thus begins his transformation into a perfect gentleman (at least, from the protagonist's point of view), which is completed by the end of the book. His favorite pastime, besides ordering the protagonist around and playing other girls, is smirking. And according to FreakOfTheWeek13, his name tends to be Ryder. (I do think I have seen that name disproportionately used in the role of the bad boy.)

If the love interest isn't a bad boy, never fear! He's still SUPER attractive and SUPER popular, with half the girls in school throwing themselves at his feet. The main female protagonist, as mentioned earlier, is included. He is confident, cocky even, and also enjoys smirking. The protagonist, though drop-dead gorgeous, is way out of his league. And yet he falls madly in love with her by the end of the book. By the end of the epilogue, he's happily married to her with a kid or two because high school romances always last. He also just may be her best friend, her ex-best friend, her brother's best friend, or her best friend's brother. (BFB!)

Then there's One Direction. 'Nuff said.

Sorry to any Directioners reading. I feel like I've been harping on them a lot in this rant book. But you gotta admit, the other 99% of the time when the love interest isn't a bad boy or a generic popular guy or some kind of brother/best friend combination, he's in One Direction.

There's always the crazy ex of the love interest. She's always throwing herself on him, trying to win him back, threatening the protagonist, plotting to break them up, etc. Sometimes, in rare cases, she even has murderous tendencies. Did I mention she was crazy?

There's the generic Wattpad teachers. They don't really care what happens in the school. The students could be beating each other up, making out between classes, or heck, doing drugs or something and the teachers wouldn't notice or wouldn't care. I guess this applies to the principal too. And they drone on and on in class - that is, on the few occasions when the protagonists bother to show up, if at all. The teacher is totally fine with it the rest of the time when they don't. When they are there, the teacher calls on them a disproportionate amount of the time. Like they're the only ones in class or something. (I guess that makes sense, actually. The teacher is happy when they don't show up because he/she gets a free period.) The teacher's personality usually includes one of the following: boring, overly strict, mean, idiotic, or couldn't-care-less-what-the-heck-happens-in-this-school. They don't have any good qualities, unfortunately.

Ah, the parents. First, there's the clueless parents, parents in name only and not in deed. They don't notice when their daughter is out 'till 4 AM partying and comes home drunk. They don't notice when she's... Doing certain things with her boyfriend in her bedroom, unless one day she starts showing... Even then, it's kind of iffy that they'll notice before she tells them. They also don't notice if their daughter disappears for a year because she's touring with One Direction and dating one of them, even though her name is plastered all over the tabloids, the media, and Twitter. And if they do notice any of these things? They don't really care. Oh sure, honey, stay out partying and getting drunk underage as late as you want! Have fun! Sometimes they just don't exist at all. Never once do they make an appearance in the story, even though their underage daughter should technically be living with them. I guess she's secretly living on her own. (Which leads me to wonder how she came into being, if she doesn't have parents... Did she rise out of the ocean on a whatever Aphrodite supposedly rose on in that one picture Riordan mentioned? Was she created from someone's mind like with Athena's children in Riordan's books? It must be some mythological way. On second thought, let's not think about that. It could potentially get awkward.) And if the parent isn't any of those categories, they're either single, dead, abusive, or they never get along with the daughter. No happy families. Poor little children in Wattpad stories.

Added 08/02/2014

The female protagonist often has that best friend. You know, the crazy fun-lovin' one that tries to set her up with every other guy they meet. (You know what's sad? As I'm writing this, I'm thinking of a character from one of my own books - one nobody's met at this time except for me. But I already love her haha).

In the bad boy plot, the bad boy had this best friend, right? And he's the one who starts becoming friends with the protagonist girl while the bad boy is still in hate-female-protagonist mode, before any romance develops. Credit to MereEtymology for this one and the best friend one above.

The main love interest is, I swear, Prince Charming or something. Half the time she's with a total douchebag first, and she doesn't realize it until he cheats. But don't worry! Prince Charming is there to make everything better, and they live happily ever after. The other scenario involving this guy is he saves her from being raped, murdered, kidnapped, or something equally traumatizing. But don't worry! As soon as Prince Charming shows up, all the fear she felt is instantly gone, just like that, because Prince Charming makes everything better, and they live happily ever after! Yay! *gag* What kind of fairy tale is this? Credit to MargaritaSolorio for this one.

So I'm gonna be honest here. I wrote this late at night. I didn't plan it out as much as I should have, so I'm probably missing some. If you notice any you feel should be on this list, feel free to comment it below!