Biggest Wattpad Pet Peeves

Overconfident Writers, part 2

Dedicated to the lovely reader whose comment reminded me I had wanted to rant on this.

There are a couple other overconfident writers I had wanted to discuss, but I had forgotten. (When I say discuss, I mean rant. Come on, guys, you should know this by now!) Until now. Thank you @CyberPixSpirit for reminding me!

First of all, we have our very favorite self-advertisers, advertising where they're not wanted. As usual. Don't we all just LOVE them? *insert heavy sarcasm here*

And then, as if that's not obnoxious enough, they have to go and be even MORE obnoxious. I didn't think it was possible. But sadly, it is.

"I promise you'll love my story!"

Okay. Please just shut up for a second, Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. Self-Advertiser - no one wants to hear you talk - and let me process what you did there.

That is just wrong on so many levels. First of all, how dare you pretend to know me well enough to tell me I'll love this? Newsflash: you don't. If you did, I'd die of shame for being associated with a self-advertiser like you. Second, I'm already really irritated that you were arrogant enough to advertise where you were specifically asked not to. Do you think I'm gonna be happy with your further cocky attitude? And then I look at it, just to see if by some miracle they live up to their claims - and I am not at all surprised when they don't.

Title: "Omg I'm in love with my best friend but he doesn't love me and we're both secretly pop stars :D"

First sentence: Hello my nmae is Sally nd i am in luv w/ mah BFF Bob except 4 he don't luv me back imma cry, dton u feel soooo bad 4 me?!?!?!?!?!?!

Um. Okay. I don't know what planet you might find someone who "loves" this, but I can tell you now that it's NOT Earth. Maybe people on your planet like this stuff, but we human beings don't, so why don't you climb back onto your little UFO and fly back to Planet We-Luv-Horrible-Stories!:D That was a command, not a suggestion.

Then there are those people who say, "Please give me your opinions on my story! I like constructive criticism!" So you think, "Oh, what a nice author! I think I'll help them out and give them a few tips so that they can make their writing even better!" No. Do not be fooled. Because if you give them a bit of constructive criticism, they lash out at you, accusing you of hate and claiming their story is already perfect.

Okay...? Well, in English, "Constructive criticism" doesn't mean, "Don't you dare comment on my already perfect story." "Opinions" doesn't mean, "Give me praise, lots of praise, and nothing but praise!"

I think you'd better catch a ride with the self-advertisers. They can drop you off at Planet If-You-Can't-Lavish-Praise-Then-Shut-Your-Face on their way home to Planet We-Luv-Horrible-Stories!:D

And while we're on the topic of jerky authors, I saw one thing the other day that made me really angry. I didn't want to get involved and cause a big scene there, so I'm ranting about it here. One person commented on a story, saying they liked a particular metaphor that the author used. Then the author lashed out, yelling at the poor person, accusing them of searching for mistakes in the story even though the author thinks they normally  "take constructive criticism well". Um... that was a compliment. And if that's how you take compliments, then I shudder to think of how you take constructive criticism. (If this is you by any chance, you better go apologize to that person immediately because you were a major jerk.)

How can authors be like that? I'm seriously considering not finishing that story because of that author's horrible attitude. And the funniest thing is, someone agreed with the author and start attacking the innocent commenter. Like, everything the author says is always right 100% of the time, and if someone says something that the author doesn't like, well, they're obviously in the wrong and everybody else must make them feel horrible.

The commenter handled it well, though. They didn't let it escalate into a fight like I probably would have. They tried to explain that it was a compliment, but the author hasn't responded.

But still. That author.... I have no words. No more words, at least, as I already have a good 2-3 paragraphs of words describing my feelings on this.