Biggest Wattpad Pet Peeves

How to Fix Problems with Bob

Per Umai997's suggestion, I will be giving you guys tips on writing a blurb. (That is code for "I'm going to tell you things that irk me about blurbs that I did not mention in the previous rant and how to avoid them.")

1) Figure out what your story is going to be about. If you don't know enough to write the blurb; then you shouldn't have started the story yet. Period. Plan ahead, people.

2) Grab the reader's attention. Bait, remember? You need to make them wanna read that puppy! As KittyCrackers pointed out to me, "Meet Bob!" is not the best way to do that. It is, however, an excellent way to bore your potential reader as scare them off. And it is overused. Don't get me wrong, there are some writers who could probably pull it off, and there are some stories where this would work well. But chances are, it is not you and it is not your story. Don't risk it.

3) Do not tell people that a) your blurb or b) your writing skills are terrible. That is code for "Put this story away now and never look at it again."

4) Don't put in disclaimers unless you want the people it affects to avoid your story. For example, "Don't read if you don't like _____. " I stuck one in one of mine and it worked! Not sure if that's good or bad. Also avoid saying "This is my first story/ I'm only 12 so don't judge!" That makes you sound desperate. Yes, I'm being brutally honest. Sorry.

5) Please, please, please make sure the description is relevant to the story. Do I have to explain this one?

6) Summarize, don't paraphrase. You all know the difference right? You are giving a general description that will help the reader know the basic facts of what the story is about. You are not detailing every single plot point.

7) Do NOT detail every single plot point. ESPECIALLY not the plot twists. You lose the surprise and suspense. And if you list all the plot points in the description, I'm not going to bother reading the story. I already read all the important stuff, after all. HiddenBeauty_2001 kind of mentioned this, and I agree 100%.

8) Edit it just like any other chapter. Don't leave in spelling mistakes and stuff. We already discussed this so let's move on.

9) Insert a brief, interesting scene from your story. This isn't mandatory. I never do it personally (because I don't have the scenes written at the time. Maybe I'll add that in later), but a lot of times it works really well. You're giving the reader a glimpse of your writing style. Just make sure the scene is pertinent/important, as well as captivating. Don't stick a random happy unimportant scene at the zoo when it's supposed to be a horror story. And inserting a scene does NOT replace writing a description. People still need to know what the story is about, and unless the characters are strangely describing their own story in their dialogue... That would be weird, by the way. Like a mise en abyme or something. (Gah literature class, what have you done to me?)

10) Do not end with a bunch of questions. Warning bells should ring if you hear: "What will happen when...?", "Will they be able to...?", or "Will x happen, or will y happen?" Yes, I have used these. Yes, I would like to rewrite the description containing these at some point. I think the problem with questions is if people can guess the answers by reading the description, there's no real point to reading the story. And by the way, some questions can be really good in the description. Like, the thought-provoking ones. Just the generic templates I listed above are usually better to avoid.

11) Do not end with "Read to find out!" after those questions. I don't care if the rest of the description is outstanding. That is unprofessional. Maybe it's just me. I don't really know. But it goes with the thing I mentioned earlier. If the reader can guess the answer to the questions, there's no need for them to 'read to find out'. Those two strategies are just two I would recommend avoiding. This is just opinion, though. If it makes you happy to use them, go for it.

KittyCrackers and HiddenBeauty_2001, I'm sorry I could only officially dedicate this to one person! Otherwise you would have gotten a dedication too. So guys, ignore what it says at the top. This chapter is dedicated to Umai997, KittyCrackers, and HiddenBeauty_2001 for their contributions to this chapter.