Like Lavender (Vkook/Yoonmin/trigger warning)

십팔

Jin wasn't happy with the news of Namjoon's death. It wasn't that he was looking forward to anything, it was that he actually thought Namjoon as a respectable person who could get things done. He had a good attitude to most things and didn't lose enthusiasm. A good leader. A good looking leader.

Now what did they do with Taehyung? Did they let him go? If they let him go, Jungkook would be broken hearted if he realised someone he liked a lot was returned back to the station of hatred for him. But if they kept him around after they had what they wanted, it would be cruel to abuse and torture him for no reason. And what was the point of keeping him in a cold, claustrophobic room on his own if he wasn't there for a reason?

They'd have to let him leave.

Hoseok decided to break the news to him. He was going to deliver him back to the police station and leave him there to do whatever. Come back and arrest them? He encouraged it. Jin, meanwhile, asked Jungkook to come in. To say goodbye. And surprisingly, the whole thing had the same energy as a funeral.

Jungkook was allowed into Taehyung's room, more of a cell, to speak to him. To tell him what would happen. The door was closed behind him, and Jungkook ran up to Taehyung and hugged him so tight that he could barely breath.

"What's wrong with you?" Taehyung asked him, slightly amused at his sudden affection and behaviour.

"You need to leave." Jungkook told him. Taehyung smiled and put a hand on the back of Jungkook's head, the other slipping around his waist. He wasn't his strongest, he wasn't his happiest, but he was still gonna hug him back. He did kiss him.

"Why?" Taehyung still wanted an answer though.

"Because the guy they wanted dead, Namjoon, he's dead. So now you need to go." Jungkook told him, afraid of what his reaction might be.

He felt something drop onto the top of his head. There was silence for a second, until Taehyung tipped his head down to Jungkook's shoulder, silently weeping the loss of the one who'd always been there for him.

"I'm sorry, hyung." Taehyung had told him, choking back the tears he'd forgotten to cry. "I'm such a failure."

"You're not a failure." Namjoon had tried to comfort him, only for it to not work and for Taehyung to start thinking lower of himself.

"Yes I am. Look at me. I couldn't keep Junghyun alive. I can barely keep myself alive. I can't even fucking kill myself right." A single line of eye water fell down Taehyung's face. Namjoon still wished he had an answer to that. But he didn't. He just sat there in complete silence.

Hoseok had practically thrown him back into the station. Taehyung could barely limp, let alone walk up all those stairs, but Yoongi and Jimin were there for some reason, with Yoongi yelling at the receptionist in what sounded like anger and heartbreak and Jimin with his eyes down, silent. He looked up when the door slammed and Hoseok strolled away without so much as a second glance. His face lit up in a delighted smile, and he ran up and threw his arms around him.

"I'm so glad your alive." Was all he said, stifling a sob into Taehyung's collarbone. Yoongi turned around as well, quiet now. He slowly walked over with a piece of paper in his hands, pressing it into Taehyung's palm.

"What is it?" Taehyung was concerned and still upset over what had happened in that one day.

"Namjoon wrote it." Yoongi explained, and Taehyung weakly pushed Jimin out the way and sat down on one of the world's most uncomfortable chairs. He opened the piece of paper and started reading, eyes blurry with tears.

To whomever comes across this.

Yes, that is my dead body. Yes, I am dead. No, it wasn't a long and unknown battle with depression or anxiety or any sort of mental illness. Mentally, I was fine. I was fine physically, as well. The reason of my death is on the screen in front of me.

On this computer there are two previously live streamed videos of a colleague of mine being mercilessly abused. I don't know what they'll do to him after this. But despite their abuse, they seem like honest people. Taehyung, the victim, is a great friend of mine. And if they require my blood spilled in return for his safety, then I don't care if they keep their promise or don't.

So I did this for him. I apologise to anyone who may be offended or heartbroken or angry about this. It was solely my own choice for the greater good of a life. If Taehyung heard about this, which the chances are he will, I would hate for him to think this is his fault. If he should come across this letter, or he comes back to find me dead, my last dying wish is that he knows, 100%, that this isn't a problem that he caused. He had no control over this. I don't want him to think I hated him, or refused to acknowledge him, or didn't care. I love him and he's one of my best friends.

Which leads me on to Yoongi. Please don't think you could've talked me out of it and don't think that you are at fault in anyway. And if he is the one who finds and reads this first, please inform Jimin that I wish he gets well very soon and he should be taking it easily for a few days.

If you wish to know how my throat was slit, look in my other hand. The weapon should be there.

- Kim Namjoon.

All Taehyung had to do was read Namjoon's name to start sobbing again.

He couldn't stop crying. It got to the point where Jin couldn't even figure out what he was crying about. He just awkwardly sat there with an arm around Jungkook's back as he let out everything he'd been holding back. Jungkook could barely remember what he was crying over. He was devastated over losing Taehyung, but he understood. He understood why he was gone. He was glad nobody had decided to kill him. But he already missed him. The thought of never seeing him again was like a knife straight through his heart. He was shaking.

He wanted to be punished.

He had not felt that urge for a day, which he felt was good. He knew Taehyung hadn't caused this sudden temptation, but Jungkook felt a need for punishment now that could not be beaten down. He wanted to scoop his eyes out with a McFlurry spoon. He wanted to stab himself to death. He wanted to crush his head with a hammer.

He wanted to see Junghyun again.

This would hurt the most. He wanted to track down his grave and read his name and the date of his death and the date of birth and he wanted to read the words "loved son, brother and coworker."

He wasn't a loved son.

Jungkook adored him as a brother.

His coworkers probably trusted them with their lives.