Toxic (H.S.)

28*

Marlene

Mary Lou was an older black woman who had gone to hell and back in her life. She was raised by her alcoholic mother and began doing drugs on the streets when she was a teen. She still came around the homeless shelter I would go to every Saturday and get breakfast, sometimes dinner as well.

She said I reminded her of her sister who passed away when she was twelve, so full of love and laughter.

When she spotted me with tears in my eyes she hugged me and told me to follow her to have a cup of coffee at a diner. "Where have you been crazy girl, I never see you here anymore."

Her words made me realize that with everything this past year and a half; I stopped coming here all together five months ago.

"I got married." She congratulated me while I pulled my wallet out to show her the picture of Oliver from our small wedding. He had a big smile, and even with the lack of teeth, looked just like Harry. "My son." when I explained the situation she cried.

"I can tell you love that boy." I nodded crying into my hands. "Tell me what's wrong honey, your makeup is coming off." I chuckled.

"He's the best guy I could ask for, but somethings bothering him and it's affecting us. It's hard to explain but I can't argue with him like I want to because in my mind he's fragile." I told her everything from how we met, to the bruises, and pregnancy. I sat in that booth with her and had dinner as we talked.

She told me of her experience in an abusive relationship and everything she feels now and it was things Harry told me he felt. He had trust issues and nightmares like her. "Marlene, you can't stop yourself from living your life with him because of the past. Honey the reason you stopped coming was that you don't have the urge to be needed anymore, that baby needs you. Go home and fight with him, don't be scared to tell him how you feel even if it hurts his feelings."

"You're right." I nodded. I know fighting wasn't good, but maybe a heated discussion would fix this.

I left some money and walked her to the shelter where I got a cab and had him take me home. I walked into the house and could hear Harry talking on the phone. "...okay I'll call Liam and double check- yeah okay bye." I quietly closed the front door and heard him walk into the kitchen grabbing a set of keys and walking out into the living room where I stood. He stopped dead in his tracks as he held Oliver in his arm. "Jesus, Marlene thank god." He walked over to me and held me close.

"Mama!" Ollie cried out when he noticed me. I took him into my arms and kissed his head.

"I'm right here baby, mama went out for a bit." I walked past him to take Oliver to the living room to sit with him. He followed closely behind me and watched as I grabbed Oliver's milk and sat on the couch to put him to sleep.

"Are you not going to talk to me?" He asked but I ignored him. "I went looking for you right afterward and you disappeared so I picked up Ollie and came home, but you never showed up." I didn't say anything.

After I put Oliver to bed I walked over to the bedroom and took off my jewelry and my heels, sighing in relief. I showered and watched as Harry sat at the end of the bed looking frustrated. I shut the bedroom door and took a deep breath.

He's not fragile, he's a grown man and we are two married people that need to work out their differences.

I crossed my arms and shook my head. "You're a dick," I told him making him look up at me.

"I know I am."

"Let me finish." He nodded. "I am your wife Harry, you asked me to marry you and you wanted me for better or for worse. I love you with all my heart and I love our son." He nodded. "But the way you treat me is bullshit! I know what she used to do to you, I saw the bruises and the marks on your skin! I am terrified to even yell because I never want you to feel unloved, but I'm not going to stay quiet anymore for your benefit!"