Toxic (H.S.)

42*

Marlene

It was early, too early for my liking, but I had read that you should take a pregnancy test in the morning. Something about your hormones or some shit.

I was nervous beyond belief, but also excited. My morning sickness had returned and I was feeling bloated. My biggest clue was that my period had gone missing a week. Today was father's day and I was planning on waking up Harry with breakfast in bed. How amazing would it be to be able to have a positive test telling us we would be having another baby.

I took a deep breath and began opening the tests. Yes, I bought multiple tests.

I set them down next to the sink and began doing my dance when I needed to pee. I let out a small whimper and pulled my pants down and grabbing the cup to pee into. When I had peed on all the tests, I sat them on top of the counter and waited.

Three minutes felt like an eternity right now. A lot of things came to my mind at that moment of me having another little baby to love and take care of. I wanted a little girl so Ollie wouldn't feel replaced or something because at the end of the day he was my baby boy.

Every night after Harry went to bed, he would kiss me and make love to me. After he would hold me close and whisper in my ear. "Do you think we made a baby this time?" I would shrug and tell him that it would happen someday. To think today might be that day.

I also thought about the trial, Emily's trial would be first and Harry had to testify against her mother. The plan was that Emily takes the deal of eight years as long as Harry testified that her parents were manipulative and abusive. He wanted her in jail and this was the only way. A week ago he cried to me and told me he thinks he should begin therapy since he was having very vivid dreams of his abuse.

I felt like I couldn't help him with that anymore, but I was glad he knew he needed help.

The timer went off and I took a deep breath looking down at the first test. I grabbed the box and sure enough two lines meant pregnant. I picked it up and there was one solid dark line and one faint line. "Oh for fuck's sake." I set aside and grabbed the other. Two dark lines. "Oh my god," I whispered.

The next three tests all looked like that one. Two solid dark lines. And of course, the most expensive test, clear blue, said in nice digital letters.

Pregnant.

I began crying and touched my stomach as I began to sob, happy tears of course.

Suddenly there was a light knock on the door. "Mumma, you okay?" I giggled grabbing all the tests and placing them in an old shoe box. I washed my hands and went to open the door to find Oliver.

"Ollie, did you get out of your crib again?" I picked him up and he looked at my eyes.

"Mumma sad?" I shook my head kissing his head.

"No baby, Mumma's happy, she's so happy." I pressed kisses all over his cheeks causing him to giggle. "Shh, let's go make daddy breakfast." He placed his finger over his lips as I set him down to walk to the kitchen.

Harry was still laying on his side holding a pillow, fast asleep.

I walked to the kitchen and made him some waffles with bacon and eggs. Oliver watched me on his high chair eating a piece of waffle as I set up a tray with all of the food for the three of us.

I set Ollie down and he followed closely behind as I took the food to our room. Still asleep, I set the food down on the dresser and watched as Ollie went to go lay next to Harry. I snapped a picture and went over to lay my head next to him while he slept. I took another photo with the three of us causing Oliver to giggle.