𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅

seventeen: the wall

No matter how many times I tossed and turned in bed, sleep wouldn't overtake me. I dreaded nights like these. Nights where I'd lay wondering exactly what was she doing while I slept-or tried to sleep.

Was she still in Highgarden with the baby?

Was she in King's Landing trying to exact her revenge on the Lannisters?

Or did she cross the Narrow Sea and find Daenerys?

Was she also trying to sleep?

Were her thoughts clouded with memories of me? Of better times where we could step foot in the South without worrying about being killed.

"Robb, you're still awake? We have much to do tomorrow, better rest up." Job advised.

"I'm trying."

"Thinking about her again?"

"I'm always thinking about her."

"You're worried that you'll never see her again. I felt that way when I said goodbye to you at Winterfell those years ago. Here we are."

"In the worst possible circumstances."

"Not the worst."

"My father was beheaded for a crime he didn't commit, one of my sisters has been missing since the day he died, the other was engaged to a prick and is being held a hostage by the family that killed my mother, one of my brothers has gone beyond the Wall, my wife gave birth to our first child alone, and I'm here talking to my bastard brother who has a natural talent of annoying the shit out of me."

"We could be dead." I gave him a look to which he responded with a smile.

"Sorry but Robb, I know that you can't help but wonder about her, but we both know she'd want you to stop. Val is one of the strongest women in Westeros. You must have strength like her."

"I'm not sure I can."

"I'm not sure you have a choice."

"A choice. Is that why you left home? To show my mother that you had a choice and a chance at happiness even as bastard?"

"She was part of it. I felt like I didn't belong there. No matter how much time we spent hunting, playing, or talking into the late hours like this, I felt like an outsider. Here, I'm not the bastard of Ned Stark. I'm Jon Snow."

"So instead of talking to me or Val, you chose to leave! You left me!" I barked, without thinking.

"Robb, I didn't mean to hurt you-"

"I asked you not to go. I begged you, brother, not to leave because I wouldn't know what to do without him my best friend by my side."

"You still had Val."

"There's a difference between the love of a woman and the love of my brother!"

"Half-brother."

"I loved you just as much or maybe more than Sansa, Arya, Bran, and Rickon. Sometimes, even myself. I still love you and I'd die for you."

I couldn't stop the tears from my eyes as Jon's face softened. "You're all I may have left, brother."

"Never thought the King in the North would cry."

"Neither did I. Had you ever seen Father cry?"

"Remember when the girls got lost in the woods and we couldn't find them for weeks?"

"I can't believe I've forgotten. He sent party after party into the forest to find his daughters. I thought he'd give up after the first couple weeks."

"I knew he'd given up hope when he spent the night crying in the Godswood. He was begging the gods to give him his children back. And they answered."

"Did you ever ask them what happened?"

"I was too busy focused on having them back. I never thought I'd wish for my soul to feel that kind of happiness again."

"I pray that we will."