wanted | bts

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Hoseok

I be my cheerful self. My hopeful self. I'm J-HOPE after all, I'm supposed to me happy.

You called me sunshine but inside I didn't even feel like the smallest star. I don't deserve it, is what I told myself, they won't love you for who you are.

I kept telling myself that I didn't deserve to be a part of Bangtan. That's what they told me anyway. I don't deserve all this, what you've given me is way more than I could have ever asked for.

My parents never really liked my choice as a career. They never really mentioned it and let me leave the family home to do what I wanted. To be a part of Bangtan and pursue my dreams. But I knew that they didn't approve of it, that they were just kidding their disappointment to appear like the supportive and perfect parents that they always were to my sister.

So when I got a call from my dad, telling me that I am the perfect son. That they were proud of me for reaching my dreams and succeeding. He told me that they loved me and that they were sorry for not believing in me sooner. I cried. Let the tears flow and they kept on flowing. I was so happy. Finally my parents accepted me fully, and told me that I deserved the world, they love me, they really do.

I've learnt to love myself for who I am. I may not be perfect, but I can't be someone I'm not. I got a lot of hate and it got to me it really did, I used to cry alone and just take in all the awful comments. I thought I was hated, no one loved me. There's always going to be haters, wherever you and whatever you do but it just hurts to know that people think you are ugly and annoying.

I put on a cheerful smile and smiled wide. I thought that if I smiled and laughed that people would believe it and I would too, I would start to become happy myself. I did become happy, eventually, and I didn't have to fake it. But it wasn't because of that, it wasn't because I was constantly smiling and pretending to myself that I was ok. It was because of you. You ARMYs telling me that I'm amazing and that I am doing great they was I am. You mean the world to be and you helped me so much, you didn't even know how much you helped make me who I am today.

But those saying I should leave Bangtan, they got to me the most.

I love what I do and I love all the members. I didn't want to leave something I'd worked so hard for. But you loved me, the real ARMY. The real fans who love all members for all their quirks and differences. Whatever mistakes we might make, we aren't perfect and the real ARMYs don't have on those, they just live us more for them and they know that we will overcome anything together because we are a team.

I'm happy now. Happy with myself and what I have achieved. All seven members are unique and special, we work as a team together and we overcome anything. But we couldn't do it without you.

Thank you. Your my hope.

A/N: Longer chapter- ish 😂

I don't really have much to say so this A/N will be short (yay! You're probably thinking).

Only that I think I'm going to have this book be about 23 chapter long. 3 per member (21) plus the intro (22) and then an epilogue/outro (23).

Bye 👋👋