wanted | bts

ㅣ14ㅣ

Jungkook

I've had a relatively easy life. I was good at sports, I had good grades, and my family were supportive of me.

When I was a part of Bangtan, it was like I'd left all that behind. I was alone now. Away from my family and friends. I wouldn't get to visit them often, once a year maybe, I'd miss them. I was only a kid.

You'd think everything was just handed to me. Like I didn't have to work for it. I'm lucky, yes, but it was so damn hard to get here. Being only 15 and a part of something so big, such a difficult industry where you are in a position to be constantly criticised. You're not ready, no one is, I felt so alone.

So many people to pick on your mistakes, knock you down and make you feel worthless. It's not a nice feeling, feeling worthless.

I felt like I needed to become better. Improve myself because I wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough for anyone.

Endless days in the gym, sleepless nights, 24/7 practicing hard. It's what I needed to do. I didn't want to be seen as the helpless maknae, the youngest member who is nothing but a shy baby, a wimp, a child.

But I was a child. As much as I tried to ignore that fact, I was still young. I became a trainee when I was 13, so young.I had to fight it, gain thicker skin if I wanted to become an idol, there are always people you aren't going to like you, constantly they are going to try to bring you down but you have to be stronger than that and show them you are better than them, that you aren't bothered by their comments.

Because I was so young when I joined, I practically grew up with the other members, went through the toughest years of your life with them - puberty. They are my family. They've seen it all, my bad days, my good days, they days where I get so frustrated at everything, and they days where I just want to cry. I love them, my hyungs, I could do it without them.

They helped make who I am today. I was such a shy kid, to afraid to speak up for myself or answer during interviews. They helped me come out of my shell completely. Thank you.

And thank you ARMY. But amongst every group of true fans, there are fake ones. The ones who only like us for looks, the fans who only like me for my body. I worked hard for this body because I felt like I needed to in order to not be seen as a baby, so that I was taken seriously. Now I know that I don't need perfect muscles and a perfect set of abs to be liked, it only reels in the fake fans who liked the look of my abs, rather than out music and personalities. It's not just me, it's the same for all the members. But once I showed my abs, they all started coming, they don't appreciate our music or who we are as people.

They are the fans who think they can control us. When we change our hair or fashion, they think they can tell us the change it back because it doesn't suit them. It's not your body, you can't dictate what you decide to do with it. If Taehyung wants a mullet because he likes it, let him do that, as long as it makes him happy, it doesn't matter if it doesn't meet your personal tastes, it's not you.

It happens to all of us, we feel like we have to look a certain way to please others, not just idols but everyone. ARMY probably feel like it to, you feel like you must change yourself in order to be accepted, but they shouldn't matter. Your happiness is what matters the most, if you want to wear that, wear it, if you want to go makeup free, do it. Do what makes you happy.

Of course looks don't matter to you guys, the real ARMY, who love us for who we are. We don't need to have perfect muscles just to please you. We don't have to change who we are to please you. We can be ourselves are you're happy, and that makes us happy.

Thank you ARMY, for everything.

A/N: Sorry for the late update! I didn't know what to write for Jungkook's chapter but I got one now 😁

This is nearly finished (not really tbh) there are gonna be 7 more chapters, about what each member means to them and then maybe an epilogue type thing and that's the end.

Originally I wanted this book to be called Love Yourself cause of the BTS Albums and also because this is all about loving yourself and over coming insecurities, but there are TONS of BTS fanfics called Love Yourself so I wanted this to be different so... Wanted? It's kinda annoying cause I feel like this would be better if it was called Love Yourself, but I can't be bothered to change it now cause I'll have to change the cover and also people might not be able to find it if I change the name and we don't want that 😂

Bye! 👋