Suicide Note

Chapter Seventeen

Christopher...

  "Why don't we just let them know?" I ask softly as I sit on the edge of his bed. He huffs and wipes his hand down his face.
"I'm not ready yet. I need more time to get comfortable with this... with us." Jayden says and I look down at my hands.
"It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks... as long as we're happy with each other." I let out and he suddenly stands from the bed.
"Jesus Chris can't you see? It's not that easy! I have a reputation and it doesn't need to be ruined by me letting people know that I'm with you!" He shouts and I jump at his sudden anger.
"I'll... I'll ruin your reputation? That's how you think of me?" I ask, standing also. He nods and clenched his jaw.
"Yes Christopher! You're a nerd, quiet and I'm a athlete, people love me! If they see us together it's just going to look wrong." He says and I shake me head before wiping the tears from my cheeks.
"You're just afraid to let everyone know you're gay." I spit before snatching my bag from his floor. "I'm done with this... with us. I'm not going to be something you can hide in the shadows Jayden. Find someone else to play with." I croak before making my way to his bedroom door. As I get it open it slams back shut under his hand.
"You're not fucking doing this right now." He chuckles bitterly and I push him away from me.
"I am." I spit and he pushes me up against the door, his body nearly crushing my own.
"I'll make you regret leaving me Christopher." He whispers in my face, a menacing tone in his voice.
"I'm not scared of your empty threats." I say before opening up the door and walking out.
...

His hand pushes my face against the locker causing my glasses to crack...

No...

I try my hardest to get away from him but he was way stronger than me. Vicious pumps of his hips forward hit my backside as he invaded my privacy.

Stop...

His hips pump forward a few more times before he pulls back and releases me. My limp body falls to the floor and I can feel his release and my blood leak down the back of my legs. The clanking of his belt catches my attention and I slowly look up. A smirk lines his lips as he fixes himself. "We ain't gone tell nobody about this right Chrissy?" He asks, bending down to my level. He grabs my face in his hand and I quickly shake my head. "Good boy."

My eyes pop open, hands clutching the sheets as I struggle to regain my breath. Rakim's arms wrap around my waist tighter and lips touch my abdominals.
"You okay baby?" He mumbles tiredly and I release the bed sheets. Tears slip from my eyes, into my ears as I shake my head.
"No Rocky." I sniffle and his head immediately shifts up so he can see my face. Once he realizes I'm crying he sits up and hovers above me. His hands rest on each side of my head and he cups my cheeks in his palms.
"What happened? Who did it?" He shoots me a couple questions and I begin to sob. We'd returned from Virginia a couple months ago and we've gotten so much closer. That was the plus of going there. The negative side was I kept having dreams about me and Jayden. About our relationship and what he did to me. I had to tell Rocky at some point... and that was going to be now.
"B-baby I haven't been completely honest with you about Jayden." I cry and he pushes himself from above me. He flicks my side lamp on and motions me to sit up.
"Spit it out Chris..." He says softly and I wipe my cheeks as I sit up next to him.
"Me and Jayden used to be together... on the low. He didn't want people to know about us... to know that he was gay." I sniffle and he grabs my hands. I take a deep breathe to get a hold of myself and sigh. "One day we had an argument and I broke up with him... told him I wasn't just something for him to play with behind the shadows. He got pissed and threatened me, said he was going to make me regret it but I didn't take him seriously. The next day after football practice him and his friends cornered me... I begged him to stop but he just-" I break out in loud sobs and Rocky pulls me into his chest.
"Baby what did he do to you?" He croaks, I can tell he was on the verge of crying.