Suicide Note

Chapter Twenty-One

Christopher...

"Rocky won't answer my calls..." I say, my voice cracking as I feel the urge to cry. Robyn's lips form into a deep frown and she wraps her arms around me.
"Chris... I'm sure he's just upset about what happened at my place. It's no fault of your own." She says softly as she rubs my back. I sniffle, blink back some of my tears and lay my head on her shoulder.
"I stopped at his house to pick him up, 7:26 exactly, and he never came out. That's why I was late, I waited for him but he never showed." My heart hurts even more as I think about my boyfriend ignoring me. The warning bell rings and I pull back and shake my head.
"You wanna go behind the bleachers?" Robyn asks softly and I nod before following her out of the school. It was our second free period and Rakim, Robyn and I usually spent it outside behind the bleachers. Once we get out unnoticed we trial our way to the football field. Robyn pulls her phone from her back pocket and taps the screen a few times before placing the device to her ear. Furrowing my brows, I crouch to take a seat on the cool grass. "Hello... what's up with you?" She's silent for a couple of seconds.
"Is that Rocky?" I ask before licking my lips. She doesn't answer me but instead reply's to whoever was on the phone. "Well he's looking for you! He's worried Rakim... what do you mean?" I bite into my bottom lip. "You're not making any sense." She says and I reach over to grab her phone.
"Rocky... baby..." I say and the other end goes silent. The only thing I can hear is his breathing as I stare at Robyn.

"Rakim what's going on?" I ask and I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Ignoring it I wait to see if he'll reply.
"Chris... be careful today please." He says and I furrow my brows once more.
"What?" I ask and I hear him sigh before the line goes dead. My phone begins to ding uncontrollably as Robyn's does the same. I place her phone in her lap before shoving my hand in my pocket for my own. My Instagram notifications blow up with tags so I quickly unlock the screen. I click on the first one that sat on top of my notifications lists and when it loads my heart sinks. The video starts with my back facing the camera and Rocky's face was hovering my own. Something is whispered from me to him and I drop to my knees. My throat tightens as I watch myself pull down his pants then briefs. Oblivious to the kids recording I place my lips on his erection as he traps his bottom lip between his teeth.
"Look at these niggas!" A kid laughs from behind the camera and the video ends with Rocky kicking them out.
"Chris..." Robyn says softly but I continue to stare at the screen. Comments blow up, kids calling us different names as a few try to defend us. One comment catches my eye in particular. The laughing emoji sticks out like a sore thumb and I can feel my anger mixing with the pain. I click on the profile and images of Tremaine flood my screen. I clench my phone tightly and a text message rolls through.

Rocky (Now):
Don't do anything stupid.

Shaking my head I toss my phone beside me before placing my head in my hands.
"You gone roll one?" I ask Robyn softly and she's silent for a moment.

"Uh... yeah." She finally replies then digs in her bag. She prepares the joint and I just stare at her, wondering what was going through her mind because I know she was wondering what was going through my own.
"He knew this was going to happen..." I say quietly and she looks over at me as her tongue glides across the wrap.
"Why didn't he tell you then?" She asks as her eyes focus on tucking the weed into the blunt.
"He knew how'd I react." I reply before shaking my head. "I'm just going to push it to the back of my mind." I lie and she gives me a look, she knew it was a lie also.
"Okay." She nods her head, just agreeing with me because now was not a time to be arguing. Once she's finished she hands it over to me and I pull a lighter from my pocket. I spark ur up before placing it to my lips. I inhale deeply, filling my lungs with the smoke before handing the joint back over to her. I hold my breath for a few seconds before releasing the smoke. We pass it back and forth, finishing it off as the bell rings, signifying the bell for last period. I push myself up off the ground and hold my hand out to Robyn. She grasps it and I effortlessly pull her up. She rolls behind me silently as we re-enter the school. We walk into study hall with one another and take our seats in the back of the classroom. Kids continuously take glancing at me and I look back at them weakly, my eyes red and low.
"Can I fucking help you?" I finally spit and the dumb blonde quickly turns back around in her seat.
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