Young and beautiful (Calum Hood fanfic)

Chapter 11

I stroll over to the car and lean up against it and wait for Michael. The hair that frames my face right before the braid starts falls over my view as I tilt my head to the floor. I push it back, and look up to see Michael walking my way. He gives me a small smile and unlocks his jeep.

"Amanda, I really think this is a bad idea-" he starts but I cut him off.

"Mikey, look if you don't want to take me I'll drive my mom's car to the mall myself."

"It's not that. I just think that you don't have to change."

I don't answer him and turn my head to face the window as he pulls away from the school. The car ride is mainly silent. We don't play music and rarely talk to each other.

I know Mikey's mad at my choice but I'm seventeen; I can make my own decisions.

The car is stopped at a red light about four blocks from the mall parking lot entrance. Michael takes in a very deep breath before opening his mouth to speak.

"Listen, Amanda, we've been best friends since who knows when. We know everything about one another but lately I feel as if I don't know you at all." His eyes meet mine and it appears that he's going to cry. "I mean ever since Ashton and Calum came around it's like you're not okay with who you are. You want to change and honestly if you're changing for Ashton I think it's a mistake." He stops to press his foot on the gas as the light turns green. "What I'm trying to say is that I know you better than anyone else does and I know you're making a mistake."

I sit for a moment to rethink everything he just said. And then it hits me; do people ever really know us? Do we ever actually become known to someone? No one sees your tears at 2am, or your little giggles in the afternoon when you remember a joke. No one fully understands your silence or welcomes your mind. No one listens to your thoughts or hears the way your heart beats really fast when you're nervous. They don't notice the slight twitch your body makes when your mind wanders somewhere it shouldn't. So, do people ever really know us? I mean sure, they know what we show them, and they know as much as they can see. But we are an individual, and it's quite scary how someone, anyone, who can know you so well, doesn't really know you at all.

"Michael, you're my best friend and nothing in this god damn screwed up world will ever change that but you're wrong." I finally say as he pulls into the parking space. I push open the door, slam it shut, and wait impatiently for him to get out of the car.

He doesn't understand I'm not changing for Ashton I'm changing because I don't like who I am. I don't want to feel out of place anymore and I'll do whatever it takes to fit in.

We begin to walk toward the mall's main entrance but I stop and Michael turns to look at me. I give him my best childish grin before we both skip towards the door prancing around like little kids as if we weren't just arguing moments ago. I don't think we'd ever be able to stay mad at each other and I'm so grateful for that.

• • •

After what feels like hours of shopping, and walking, and trying on clothes we decide to head home. I didn't let Michael see any of the clothes I bought knowing he'd try and convince me not to buy them.

The drive home was much more fun and we did our usual McDonald's run and it was just like old times. As I exit the car and walk next door I hear Michael shout "goodbye manda, but I know this little change is only temporary." I roll my eyes and head up my front steps.

I close the door gently, even though it's only 8:00, I know my mother already put Danny to bed. I make my way to the stairs but stop at the sound of my mothers voice.

"Amanda sweetie is that you?"

"Yeah mom."

"I'm in the kitchen, I'd like to speak with you." I obey her and walk through our living room and down the hall into the kitchen where she is seated at the island.

"Everything okay?" I ask sitting next to her.

"You are a smart, beautiful girl. And I know you know the truth about your father and I."

"How'd you know I know?"

"Well, when you and your... uh... friend Calum were on the porch I had gotten up because I thought I heard you and well, I did hear you."

Oh.

"But enough about your father he was such a scumbag, ass-wipe son of a-" my laughter cuts her off. "I'm just saying." she shrugs her shoulders and grabs the ice cream from the freezer and joins in my laughter.

My mother digs her spoon into the carton of ice cream we were sharing and pauses to say something.

"So who is this Calum and that other dude?" she asks putting the spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

"Calum is like another Michael or Luke ya know just a really close friend. Ashton is well he's complicated." I explain.

"Well Danny clearly has a favorite of the two." She winks.

"Wait huh?"

"It's getting late, go to bed sweetie love you."

"Um, love you too? night mom." I dismiss myself. It's just like her to have a good time with me and then leave me all confused but I know better than to argue with her.

I change and brush my teeth before climbing into bed; tomorrow the new-and-improved Amanda is gonna pay her high school a little visit.

I wake up at no later than 6:00 and run to the bathroom. I listen to the radio instead to hear all of the hot music popular people listen to and jump into the shower. I'm in and out of the shower within ten minutes and put on my robe as I blow dry my hair. I stand in front of my closet for a few minutes; my arms crossed over my chest and my foot tapping against the hard wood floor. I finally find the perfect outfit and put it on. I decide to leave my hair straight and cascaded over my shoulder.

When I finish applying makeup I'm actually impressed considering this is something I hardly ever do. I take one last look in the mirror and hardly recognize myself. My hair, my face, the long sleeve crop top with floral print that I had trouble slipping over my head and my high wasted black skirt, not to mention these strappy high heel type things on my feet. I feel good, I look good... hell I look better than Britney ever has!

I grab my bag and move out my bedroom door. I reach the bottom of the stairs and only slip sightly as I continue to walk towards the front door. I see through the window that Michael is waiting for me and I take a deep breath before opening the door awaiting his opinion. He stares at me gaping and I can't read the expression on his face.

A.N// sorry I haven't updated in a long time but I've been busy with sports, sleeping, watching the kardashian's, I saw katy perry the other night so you know very busy. But omg 'everything I didn't say' was released this morning and Luke turns 18 tomorrow so my breathing has been very shaky and I think I may explode from all of my emotions. Hope you enjoy this chapter I'm excited for the next ones coming up because this is the start of some very interesting events that are about to occur so keep reading!

-Doon