Everything Changes But Us
Authour: paperhoseok (orphan_account)
Retrieved from: Ao3
Words: 3346
Ship: Jimin×Hoseok
Summary:
"I really like spending time with you, Hobi. And when we go...I might not get to see you every day. I don't want things to change. I like it the way it is now. Because now...I get to spend every day with you. And that's all I want to do."
Jimin and Hoseok are about to leave highschool. But even amidst the stress of exams and entering the adult world, Jimin can only worry about losing his best friend. Luckily, Hoseok would never dream of leaving. It's going to take a lot more than growing up to get rid of him.
--
It was a chilly winter's morning. Tendrils of mist unfurling from his lips, Jimin stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged deeper into his duffle coat. Above him, the crystalline sky held no threat of snow. The air, crisp and bleak, numbed the tip of his nose, and so he buried himself in his scarf as he walked briskly on, passing frosted window panes and ice-dusted leaves on his way. All was quiet...until he heard heavy footsteps bounding towards him.
"Jimin, wait for me!" Hoseok demanded, his tone cheerful as he approached.
Before he could even whirl round to greet the boy, Hoseok had skidded to a halt at his side, clasping a takeout cup in either hand from which plumes of steam rose enticingly. His face glowed red, the tips of his nose and his ears bright against his tan skin, and an eager grin was smeared across his face.
"Where did you get these from?" Jimin questioned in wonder as he accepted one of the hot drinks graciously. As he inhaled deeply, he relished the sweet scent of gingerbread that blessed his nostrils. Hoseok was still beaming at him.
"I stopped at the café on the way," he informed Jimin, sipping his own drink hastily. Aware that they'd come to a halt, he grabbed Jimin's wrist and yanked him onwards. Surprised, in the middle of bringing his favourite drink up to his lips for the first tantalising sip, Jimin almost spilt the contents of his cup, trailing behind Hoseok, his footing unstable.
"Come on!" the older boy urged. "We're gonna be late!"
The bus shelter was abandoned as usual, so both of them perched uncomfortably on the freezing metal seat in the corner, gazing out onto the quiet road in content silence. Cars lined the pavements, windscreens coated with frost, but only occasionally did one drive past, churning out murky grey fumes, disrupting the fresh winter air.
"Hey, Jimin," Hoseok said.
Jimin looked up at him, snapping out of his trance. He'd zoned out staring at the tire tracks on the snow-encrusted street.
"Huh?"
"Aren't your hands cold?" he inquired.
Jimin glanced down at his bare hands, knuckles reddened from the cold. His small, delicate fingers were wrapped around the cup, absorbing the divine warmth it radiated. It was his favourite drink. Special edition, just for the Christmas season. Hoseok never failed to deliver when it came to Jimin's favourite things. Gingerbread lattes, spearmint tic-tacs, poetry books, loyalty, a sense of humour, kindness, a friend to share each day with...and make each passing day feel like more of a blessing.
"The drink's making them warmer," he assured his friend, whose gloved hands grasped his own cup tightly. He turned his head to face Hoseok, and smiled mischievously.
"Why?" he asked playfully. "You don't want to hold my hand, do you?"
"No," Hoseok mumbled, averting his gaze, the redness he'd acquired from the cold deepening still. "I was going to offer you my gloves."
"Oh," Jimin replied thoughtfully. "Can I please have them, then?"
Hoseok, startled by Jimin's request, began to remove his gloves hurriedly.
"I'm kidding!" Jimin told him, chuckling rather smugly as he gazed back out at the empty street. His laughter faded, and he looked at Hoseok, who was now grinning again, one of his gloves bunched up in his hand.
"You'll really do anything for me, won't you?" he mused, an awed smile playing across his lips. Hoseok, anxious and reluctant to respond, stared down at his glove, then slapped his hand against Jimin's so they were palm to palm. Childishly, he started to ease the glove on over both of their hands, fingers becoming intertwined as he struggled to make the one person glove contain both of their hands. A sudden burst of laughter erupted from Jimin as Hoseok, his face contorted by an expression of intense frustration, finally managed to wrench the glove down to where their wrists were, flashing a satisfied smile.
"There, now we can both be warm!" he announced triumphantly, amidst Jimin's uncontrollable giggles. Inside the glove, Jimin wriggled his hand around so he could squeeze Hoseok's with a sweet smile. Hoseok looked away quickly, searching the street for nothing in particular.
"Hey," he began quietly, "what time is the bus supposed to get here?"
"Ten to," Jimin responded. "We've been coming here every morning for the past five years, so I'd have thought you'd know this by know."
"Yeah," he said with a sarcastic smile, eyes narrowed, "thanks for reminding me. But my point is, it should be arriving any minute. I mean it's-" he checked his watch "-already eight o'clock. And with the weather, I guess it'll be late anyway."
"Were we really that late?"
"I slept in and took a detour to get drinks. And you were walking so slow before I came along..."
Hoseok tilted his head skeptically.
"Speaking of which, are you feeling okay today?" he asked with a degree of concern.
"I'm fine," Jimin assured him half-heartedly, sinking deeper into his coat cocoon. Truthfully, he'd been in a dreary trance all morning; he'd barely noticed the time, which was probably why he'd been later than usual. Not even a joyous Hoseok could jolt him out of his gloomy stupor today.
Hoseok withdrew his hand from the glove awkwardly, and patted Jimin's now-singular gloved hand.
"Hey, cheer up, will you?" he smiled reassuringly, reaching up and affectionately pinching Jimin's cheek, making the boy let out a small laugh. "School's almost over. Exams are almost finished. Today is our day of freedom!"
Jimin hung his head then, glowering at his shoes.
"Maybe..." he murmured, closing his eyes. "Maybe I don't want school to end."
"Huh?!" Hoseok exclaimed. "Are you crazy?"
"No," Jimin uttered defensively, his voice muffled by his woolen scarf. "It's just...when school ends, and we go to college..."
Hoseok rubbed his back supportively, awaiting his next words.
"When we leave, I don't want to lose you," he admitted, slightly flustered, his voice reduced to a mumble. Startled, Hoseok's hand froze, resting on Jimin's shoulder cautiously.
"I really like spending time with you, Hobi. And when we go...I might not get to see you every day. I don't want things to change. I like it the way it is now. Because now...I get to spend every day with you. And that's all I want to do."
Jimin was blushing, refusing to look up at Hoseok, who broke out into a grin.
"I really do think you're crazy now, Park Jimin," he laughed. Jimin remained in downhearted silence as he went on sincerely.
"Do you honestly think I'd ever stop wanting to spend time with you?" Hoseok asked. "If anything, college will just give us even more time to spend together. We're going to be roommates after all, right?"
Jimin nodded weakly. Hoseok smiled pitifully, wrapping his arm around Jimin and pulling him closer, rubbing his arm instinctively as a form of comfort.
"How about we take a day off today, eh?" he proposed. "Just you and me. It'll be fun, won't it?"
"Really?" Jimin responded hopefully, finally meeting Hoseok's eyes as he lifted his head eagerly, some of his happiness now revived.
"Well it doesn't look like the bus is coming for us anytime soon," Hoseok remarked with a glimpse of his watch. "So, how about it?"
Jimin smiled up at him fondly. "Where are we going, then?" he asked.
With a glint in his eye, Hoseok fixed his eyes on Jimin, and the smaller boy already knew his response. He smirked knowingly.
"Guess."
They arrived at the park only minutes later. The desolate landscape of frosted swings and climing frames greeted them with open arms, and despite its dull appearance, this place was their haven. The creaky chains had become a comfort, the rusted metal merely another indicator that this place was here to stay. It seemed, at times, that this was the only thing in both of their lives that wouldn't change, be uprooted, disappear. Growing up, they'd cherished it for all its flaws and overdue repairs, and still now they retreated here at every chance they got, knowing they'd instantly feel at home.
"So you really like spending time with me, huh?" Hoseok asked with a coy smile, shooting a smug but playful look at Jimin.
"Oh shut up," he laughed, shoving Hoseok jokingly. In return, Hoseok threw a playful punch at Jimin's arm, which in reality was just a gentle touch of the knuckles. He treated Jimin with an alarming amount of care, like his prized possesion, and had no intention of damaging him. Then again, when he got over eager, he was not averse to getting Jimin in a headlock or squeezing him too hard or accidentally knocking him around. He couldn't help it. Not only was Jimin too adorable to leave alone, but his energy knew no bounds sometimes, and if he wasn't careful he knew that he could be overbearing. But Jimin never seemed to mind. In fact, Jimin often encouraged his excitable nature. He wanted Hoseok as he was, as himself, not a subdued version. And Hoseok really appreciated it. Jimin accepted him, even if other people couldn't stand his hyperactive behaviour. That boy was all he needed...and more.
"Hey, can I ask you something?" Jimin pondered, kicking the icy tarmac beneath his feet idly.
"Anything."
"You always ask how I'm feeling," he murmured. "So, how are you feeling?"
It was a simple question, but it was brimming with sentiment.
"Happy," Hoseok responded bluntly.
"That was fast," Jimin commented. "Why are you so happy, then?"
Hoseok smiled and shrugged shamelessly, swinging higher, and averted his eyes from Jimin.
"What?" Jimin asked, an unintentional grin creeping across his face.
"Nothing," Hoseok replied, still smiling knowingly, shooting a glance at him.
"Hey!" Jimin yelled with mock annoyance, still beaming as he caught Hoseok's arm, keeping him still. Hoseok pouted at him.
"What's wrong with you?" Jimin chuckled, shaking his head. "We're in exam season, we're leaving school and going into the real world...and you're still so happy."
Jimin's tone had taken on a more speculative quality now as he gazed at Hoseok from underneath his jet black fringe.
"Why?" he inquired again.
"The happier I am, the happier you are," Hoseok theorised, standing up and stretching. Jimin's hand dropped, and he looked up at Hoseok curiously from his perch on the swing. "It's just common sense. So if I remain this way, you can be happy too."
He faced Jimin with an embarrassed smile, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "Also, I'm just happy to be spending today with my favourite person in the world, you know!"
"In the world?" Jimin repeated, his tone soft, pleased almost.
"Yep!" Hoseok confirmed. Hand outstretched, he held eye contact with Jimin.
"I'm cold," he confessed. "Let's go home."
"Home?"
"My parents are at work, so we can watch movies all day, if you want."
"Sounds like a plan," Jimin smiled fondly, grabbing Hoseok's hand and allowing him to heave him upright. Unfortunately, the floor was slippery due to its icy coating, and Hoseok's overzealous assistance resulted in him skidding backwards and crashing to the floor...bringing Jimin down with him.
"Ah, my head," he winced, squeezing his eyes shut and pressing a gloved hand against his temple. Jimin, who had toppled over and crushed him, was straddling the taller boy, and gazed down at him from his advantageous positon with little triumph.
"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, gently touching Hoseok's face.
"Yeah, are you?" he grimaced.
"You're the one who's hurt, not me..." Jimin expressed in a murmur, leaning closer to inspect the damage. Suddenly, Hoseok, who seemed very quickly recovered, tossed an unsuspecting Jimin aside, rolling on top of him and pinning him down. With a cry of victory, he flashed a devilish grin at Jimin, breathless from his swift and momentous success.
"Got ya!" he half-laughed, half-panted, his eyes twinkling with mischief, tousled hair falling in his eyes. Jimin, who had been genuinely worried, began to scowl, and snatched at Hoseok's coat.
"You little-"
In fits of giggles, the two boys wrestled with each other on the floor. Jimin's attempt at pushing with his flat palm against Hoseok's face, in an attempt to make him lose balance, ultimately proved futile when Hoseok gripped his wrist. As much as he struggled, he couldn't move his hand.
Breathing heavily, Jimin's open mouthed smile encapsulated Hoseok. He looked truly carefree, as if they'd regressed back to their childhood...as if they weren't young adults preparing to enter the working world. For a moment, he lost himself in Jimin's eyes, scrunched up with the anticipation of another assault, preparing for a hit to the face, maybe. In reality, the only hit to the face Hoseok wanted to deal out was a gentle caress. He was so beautiful.
Jimin's mischief had been awakened, but Hoseok's was now shutting down. Because Jimin, lying beneath him, hair splayed out on the cold grey ground, was too perfect. He was the sun, and Hoseok was the Earth, orbitting helplessly, trapped in an endless cycle. His smile lit up Hoseok's life. He didn't know what he'd do without that warm, familiar smile, those crinkling eyes, that soft, pudgy face. Jimin was his whole world. His whole world, right in front of him, right below him, grinning obliviously up at him, so within reach but yet so far away.
Hoseok's grip on his wrist loosened as he gazed down into his eyes, slipping under Jimin's spell. As he began to realise how long he'd been staring, his face began to flush. He felt like he should be doing something. Speaking, laughing, even play fighting...anything but staring. Staring was just...creepy, wasn't it?
Jimin noticed Hoseok's gormless expression, and his eyes searched his friend's face, his smile dissolving. He wanted to say something to disrupt the silence, but he didn't know what. His mind had gone blank. All he could see...was Hoseok. All he could hear was his own heartbeat thumping in his ears, the rhythmic beat quickening as he stopped navigating Hoseok's confusing expression and stared deep into his eyes, attempting to read him. He was acutely aware of how close their faces were, the wisps of icy breath that escaped Hoseok's cracked lips tickling the tip of his nose.
Hoseok's eyes wandered to the side, and abruptly he sat back. Jimin propped himself up with his arms, watching his friend's embarassment unfold.
"Ah, I'm sorry," he laughed, but there was a noticeable edge of disappointment to his voice.
"What for?" Jimin asked gently, tilting his head. Hoseok glanced back at him, then swiftly down at the frosted floor beneath them. He could barely feel the cold anymore. His face had heated up at an alarming rate, claiming his cheeks and the tip of his ears with a dusting of red. Silently, he cursed himself. Why did he have to be so...needy?
While he was gazing at the floor, his head began to clear, and without seeing Jimin's concerned stare he felt suddenly more able to speak his mind.
"I can't help but stare, sometimes..." he mumbled, and as if it was even possible, he turned a deeper shade of crimson. When he recieved no reply, he continued, slightly louder.
"I love you more than anybody else in the world, and don't forget it," he announced firmly. "I would never leave you. So don't be scared of moving on from high school. It's just another chapter we get to spend together, alright?"
Now, he looked over at Jimin, who was hanging his head, supressing tears.
"So Jimin...don't leave me, okay?" he continued, his voice trembling, eyes wandering. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
At this, Jimin flung his arms around Hoseok and wrenched him into a tight embrace, burying his head in his friend's neck.
"Thank you," he choked out, shifting so he could hold Hoseok even tighter.
"Hey, try not to suffocate me," Hoseok teased. "If you want to stay together, you'll have to keep me alive first."
Jimin giggled spontaneously amidst quiet sobs, withdrawing himself from the hug.
"Sorry," he sniffed, pulling back further. But Hoseok drew him back almost immediately and they settled back comfortably, limbs entangled, hands grasping at fabric, eyes shut in contentment, silent and sincere, but thoroughly loved.
"Are we going back now, then?" Jimin inquired, his voice muffled by Hoseok's coat.
"Why, are you cold?" Hoseok replied.
"Not anymore," he mumbled.
Hoseok patted Jimin's shoulder, then retreated.
"Not yet," he told the smaller boy, who stared at him curiously. "I have something to give you."
Jimin's expression transformed into a bright smile.
"What is it?" he wondered aloud, sitting upright eagerly.
"It's a surprise," Hoseok smiled nervously, "so you have to close your eyes, okay?"
"Okay," Jimin agreed, shutting his eyes dutifully and holding out his hands.
He swallowed hard, inspecting Jimin's unsuspecting smile.
"You have to promise to keep them closed, alright?"
Jimin nodded, his smile not fading. Hoseok leaned closer, his eyes running up and down Jimin's face. His heart constricted in his chest. This was it. The moment he'd been waiting for...so why was he so reluctant? He knew the outcome. Either Jimin would accept him, or he wouldn't. Things would definitely change, but that was a risk he was willing to take. Everything was changing now. It was just one of those many things that had to change eventually. And now, he decided, was the moment.
His lips brushed against Jimin's softly. Just for a second- a fleeting kiss, his first kiss. Jimin, as instructed, kept his eyes closed. Beneath the placid surface, everything inside him had come to a standstill. He'd stopped breathing. He'd stopped thinking. He was pretty sure his heart had stopped beating, too.
Hoseok pulled away slowly, lingering a little when he was inches from Jimin's face, then returning to his original position. His eyes, cast down to the floor timidly, barely registered when Jimin's own finally fluttered open, stunned into silence.
"I just wanted to try it," Hoseok explained meekly. He wanted to joke around, flash a grin, make one of his usual displays of confidence, but he couldn't bring himself to be anything but serious. As he raised his eyes, Jimin was staring at him, lips slightly parted, in a state of astonishment.
"Do you...want to try it again?" he asked numbly, his hands still hovering limply in front of him, awaiting his non-existent gift.
Hoseok leaned in hesitantly, but this time Jimin met him halfway. The younger boy kissed him back gently, unsurely, tentatively lifting his hands to Hoseok's face, caressing it tenderly with a stroke of his thumbs, and sliding them down to his neck. It was the touch that really meant something. The kiss, such an innocent gesture, was soft and naïve, both of them finding their feet, but still for both of them, it couldn't have been more perfect.
The first snowflake fell, settling in Jimin's nest of jet black hair. And they continued to drift down from the sky, with the two teens completely oblivious, only focused on one another, lost in their own special moment. Only when one landed on the bare skin of Jimin's hand did he pull back reflexively and crane his neck, searching the sky in wonder.
Snowflakes showered over them now, and Jimin reached up childishly to touch one, while Hoseok, witnessing the boy's awe, smiled fondly at him, the urge to catch snowflakes in his mouth completely surpressed by his desire to fully take in every moment he spent with Jimin.
"It's beautiful," Jimin breathed.
Hoseok stared at him, his heart melting. His surroundings were a blur. All he could see was Jimin, his sweet smile, his eyes crinkling up, his nose scrunching, his delicate fingertips reaching up towards the sky. It was beautiful, he agreed. It was so beautiful.
"Yeah," he replied with a sentimental smile. "It really is."
