jimin wonders: about taehyung, about himself, about them, and maybe the Universe too.
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In the middle of the night-- when stars twinkle and illuminate the royal night sky; when the Moon peeks out shyly and beautifully, without as much bravery as the Sun but still equally amusing; when the people fly and float in dreamlands of their own-- those are the times when Jimin would think how lucky he is.
Even when he is cramped up in the couch; even when his cat would come and lick his face in the middle of the night, ruining his sleep; even when the neon lights of the city weren't covered enough by the thin, cheap curtains, he thinks he's the most luckiest person in the world as a pair of arms wrap around him, like a source of warmth and comfort; a gentle kiss behind his head, buried in his hair; the soft breaths tickling his neck; an arm supporting his head from the discomfort of the couch; and a smile graced upon their lips.
Taehyung was the reason Jimin would ever feel lucky.
Maybe it was because they were destined together; maybe it was the providence of the universe that held them together. Jimin wonders what would happen, if it were to be that they were not destined for each other.
He vividly remembers the time he met Taehyung, but mostly because it's a hard memory to forget for everyone who witnessed it. They met on the verge of life and death, just a hand away from leaning over either side. The distance which was covered easily, pulling the both of them back to life rather than fall to death. Jimin wonders if anything would be different had it not been Taehyung who pulled him away.
It wasn't like he intended to stop in the middle of the road, while he was crossing. The royal blue color of the sky was pained with millions of stars, and he had just paused for a moment, froze in his spot, entranced by the starlight which were shining beyond the neon city lights. It made him wonder how small he really was, in comparison to the vast, endless universe filled with countless amount of stars. He was just a minuscule part of the whole creation, and that realization made him pause in his steps.
He didn't hear the horn nearing, the tires screeching, the people around him gasping in shock, or the footsteps rushing towards him. It was all so sudden, and he was still looking up at the stars as he was pulled backwards. It was only after crashing into a warm somethingthat he realized, and at that very moment, his eyes-- which were filled with stars-- clouded back to darkness, just like his life was.
He doesn't even start comprehending the questions directed at him, or his arm being tightly gripped by fingers, almost like piercing into them. "Are you fucking crazy?! "
He nods. Maybe that was the right answer. Maybe he was fucking crazy, crazy enough to stop in the middle of the road, not caring about his own life. Maybe he was crazy to care about celestial beings like stars more than himself.
"I guess I am," He laughs wetly, feeling something choking his throat. "Thank you, though, for making me know that."
Maybe he was crazy, because he thought that they were destined to be.
A gentle rustle from behind him makes him snap out of his thoughts, and a sudden fear claws at his heart once the arm over his hip isn't there anymore. The city lights were a little but dimmed now, but that didn't actually make any difference because it still illuminated the room. He could still see their pet cat, it's fur slowly moving along with the air that was coming through the open window. Jimin wonders why he was sleeping in the living room rather than their bedroom, but he doesn't complain.
He thinks he hears the sound of a piano softly playing somewhere, and along with the wind, it's almost like a perfect symphony. The fear inside him starts to dissolve, little by little, but at the end its still there. He is afraid, afraid whether he'd be able to hold out for so long, whether he'd be able to keep Taehyung beside him for long, whether Taehyung would leave him one day or another.
He is worried if Taehyung would become just a lasting memory than a tangible reality, and the thought scares him.
This isn't the first time he's been this scared, though. Ever since their meetings became intentional rather than accidental, ever since the title of 'strangers' turned into 'acquaintances' and was transforming into 'friends', he has had this gripping fear that all of this would end sooner or later.
Taehyung had grabbed his hand at that time, slowly bringing it closer to their line of vision. "I have the same fear," He had confessed. "I have the same fear as you, so don't worry."
Jimin didn't know how it was supposed to be comforting, but now that he thinks of it, it makes sense. They had the same fear, and the same will to not be afraid of it, so they both did their best to overcome it. They had each other through the road full of obstacles, and that was the comfort Jimin had, all this time.
Jimin doesn't keep count on how much passed like that, him awake in wonderment and Taehyung fast asleep, oblivious to the other's sound thoughts. Jimin registers their cat meowing lowly, crawling up near them. He lets his free hand fall down and caress the cat's head, and it purrs in response.
Maybe everything just wasn't a coincidence. Maybe everything that is now-- him, Taehyung, the cat, the cramped space they were sleeping in-- was just fixed all along-- right since the Universe was created, maybe. It was just that destiny-- the same destiny which made the two be together-- envied them more than a few times that it felt so hard to get through.
"'Min?" Taehyung's sleepy, deep voice resonates through the small study room, one that was used very rarely because they would just sleep on their bed. But Taehyung had been working that night, buried neck-deep in books. Jimin might have given up on studies, but Taehyung didn't, so Jimin had just got used to him staying up late because he was no early bird to get up early in the morning and study, and also got used to sleeping in that cramped up couch more times than he remembers. But it was still not something which happened often. "Didn't sleep?"
Jimin shakes his head, not a yes, nor a no. But Taehyung would understand-- he always did.
"Just..." He lets out a shuddered breath (which he blames mostly on the chill air around them). "Wondering."
"'bout?" Taehyung asks, snuggling perfectly to fit his chin on Jimin's shoulder, the arm which he had pulled away back in its own place. Jimin feels more than secure, now that it is there to anchor him down.
"Us," He sighs; takes in his surrounding deeply yet again. "I love you," He says. It isn't something he says that often, just because he doesn't want to pour it all out on something which was still very unsure for him. Taehyung, on the other hand, was very expressive and didn't forget to say he loves Jimin every other minute.
"Me too," Taehyung says, inhaling Jimin's familiar scent and smiling at the freshness of it. "I love you so much."
As if on cue, as if the whole Universe was waiting for this, the air around them grows warm enough to feel comfortable after the chillness of the midnight breeze lingered and made them shiver. Maybe the whole universe moved just for them, for them to feel comfortable right now, without even a little miss.
Taehyung presses a kiss to his head, softly, gently, just like how he would do to their cat. It was warm, happy, just speaking for itself.
