She.

1. Daze.

I've been told you love me a hundred times.
I've been promised,
Oceans and moons and stars.
As long as I waited for its arrival.
Never received not one,
I guess those were all lies.
Smiles that never stretched for me.
Eyes that longed for me,
Only when yours were filled with lust.
And I day dreamed a reality that wasn't real.
Where your love meant more than words.
And your touch took me to other worlds.
A reality where an us would work.
And I day dreamed,
You loving me for some years.
But it wasn't reality.
Something I made up in desperation.
In desperation of wanting your love.
Not even necessarily your love,
But your friendship and your presence.
Your very being and essence.
I made up this reality because I was in love.
I had told you hundreds of times that I was.
I had nothing to offer to you,
I knew I was a liability to you.
So I promised you my loyalty,
And gave you my heart.
In hopes that I'd keep hearing,
That you love me.
In hopes that you'd keep smiling at me.
In hopes that you'd still see me,
With love filled eyes.
My day dreams blurred reality.
Reality where I am a liability.
Reality where you tell me you love me,
And I believe it and you know that I do.
Reality where you say you love me,
Just to keep me from leaving you.
Reality where you say it but don't mean it.
But I don't hear the underlying underneath it.
I welded my ears shut to the idea.
But I don't see it,
Because my eyes won't believe it.
They're rolled back,
Stuck day dreaming,
In love with you.