I felt lost. I felt deserted. I felt angry. I was frustrated. I was desperate. Desperate to reach the hospital. I cursed the mother nature for sending the storm. I cursed the cab drivers for not coming. I cursed my self for walking out of the hospital and not picking my phone.
If only had I picked up the stupid phone, he would not be hurt. He would not be bleeding and the doctor's won't be operating on me.
Without much choice, I ran towards the hospital. Forcing my legs to work faster. I didn't care if it would affect my heart, I had to be there with him.
I could feel my heart beating faster, my throat burning and legs giving out but I pushed my self.
"A patient named Sehun was admitted here because of car accident. Which room is he in?" I asked the nurse at the reception anxiously. The nurse didn't even bother to answer me as she typed in her phone. I asked her for the second time but got ignored.
"Listen, here you stupid bitch. I am asking you nicely for the last time, where the hell is Sehun admitted." I told her with a edge in my voice. I already looked like a manic, tears strolling down my cheeks, hair disheveled and wet from head to toe.
"What's the problem here? Jennie?" I saw Uncle Bruce coming towards the reception area. I immediately went up to him a begged him to take me to Sehun.
He shook his head at my appearance telling me that after I get myself dried and made sure I didn't complicate my heart condition he will take me to him.
*
"Uncle Bruce, see I am fine. Now please take me to him. I really need to see him." I pleaded him desperately.
He nodded his take and led me outside the chamber I was checked in.
All the way towards his room, I was praying that he was alive and had a successful operation. It was like a deja vu, years ago I was the one who was hospitalized and Sehun had come rushing in my ward soaked in rain.
After that damn motorcycle had hit me and ran away, I had fainted due to pain and fear. I didn't know how I got to the hospital but the moment I opened my eyes, all I saw was white walls, gray sheets and intravenous while aunt held my hand and was sleeping in a uncomfortable situation.
My aunt stirred from her sleep and asked if I was okay. I nodded in reply not wanting to worry her more. She later assured me that the person who was riding the motorcycle had been caught and I was to go to the police station later to give my statement.
Just then the door opened wide with a loud 'bang' and Sehun soaked from head to toe heaving with breathe came in view. He took large steps and immediately hugged me as if I were to vanish any moment.
"What happened, Sehun? Are you okay"? I asked him shocked that he was holding me so tight. By then my aunt have left the room giving us some space.
"Your aunt called me and said you were in accident, I was really scared that I would loose you. I-I just- God, I don't think I can handle the pain if you were to be dead. You are really precious to me." He said hoarsely indicating he had been crying.
Seeing him like that made me feel sad. The boy who had been enjoying the birthday party of Max just a few days ago is feeling scared. I hadn't been sure if I could love anyone but just now this boy made me feel love. And I can confidently say that I love Sehun.
"Don't worry, Sehun. Even if I die, I will remember you even in after life. Moreover, I am strong as a bull, no one can kill me." I said trying to lighten up the mood. And just like that we had an unspoken love between us.
A shove on my shoulder made me snap out of the memory I had once blocked out. I never wanted to remember anything related to Sehun but I did wrong by locking all these memory.
"Are you okay, dear? We are here." Uncle Bruce said.
I took a deep breathe and opened the door. A white cloth draped over the person's body. The room felt cold as a shiver went down my spine. I felt every blood go cold. The warmth leaving my body. Tears welling up more. Throat paining. I never had thought I would come across such day.
I made my way towards him slowly but I couldn't move. It was as if my foot had been implanted there. I forced myself to move towards him.
"I am sorry for being a bitch." I said as I held his hand.
"I have many things I am sorry for. I should have fought more before. I should have kicked you ass and made you listen to me. I should have hugged you so tight and made you stay with me. I am sorry we wasted three years of our life hating and paining our self. I am sorry I didn't tell you about my heart condition. I am sorry we fought. I am sorry, I ignored your calls and made you search for me. I am sorry you are -you are dead." I said choking back another cry.
"You know, they say that we love them only when they leave us," I could taste the bitterness on my tongue as I said those words. "Guess they were true, I realized that all this I was suppressing my love for you. I didn't fall out of love, I -I just didn't show it. Every now and then, whatever I did, I thought of you.
"These past three month's, I let myself loose and for the first time I felt happy. I don't regret anything-" I took a deep breathe and wiped the tears off before continuing, "I just regret saying I love you when you were alive. I-I am really sorry Hunnie, I really mean it. So, so just come back and tell me-me that its okay and just-just come back. Please."
I didn't mind if I looked like a freak talking to someone who had already gone. I felt miserable without him, I already felt lost.
I wanted for him to come back to life. I was supposed to die not him.
"Sehun, please. I beg you, please come back. I don't think I can live without you, please." I was surprised that I didn't have a panic attack. It was for the better, I didn't want to waste any time.
"Baby, you need to stop jumping to conclusion." Have I finally lost my mind? I cried even harder.
Sehun's hand which I was holding squeezed mine making me snap my head up.
I was flabbergasted when I saw him smiling down at me. I blinked my eyes several times thinking I was imagining it.
I turned towards Uncle Bruce and asked him, "Did you see that?"
"Yes, honey."
"But ho-how?"
"Jennie, you didn't hear me? I told you on the way here that Sehun didn't have any surgery. He only had a minor bruise of course his leg is fractured. But other than that nothing happened."
That stupid airhead. I am going to kill him. I had really thought I lost him, I- I god, I-I.
"See, baby I am fine. I was really scared when you started crying. I tired to cut you of but you didn't even hear me." He smiled at him as if nothing happened. I had poured my heart out and all he could do was smile.
Grabbing my arm, he pulled me towards him. Our face were so close.
"Jennie Kim, its okay you know. I know you were hurt and you didn't hate me. It was a show. I saw it on the first day you came. At first I didn't know how to react, I was happy that you were in front of me but I had to act like I hated you. I thought even if you be friended me for money, I would still forgive you and be with you. So, I started picking on you.. Moreover I am strong as bull, no one will kill me."
I looked at him lost, I could still feel the salt on my lips. I was still crying. I couldn't believe he was in front of me alive and speaking to me.
"And you know, I love you too." And with that he put his lips on mine.
______________________________________
(NOT EDITED)
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The First Snow ✔️
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