More. || Eric Coulter

Sixteen.

When Eric glanced at the watch next to the hospital bed it was shortly after 5 am.
Usually he would make his way to get breakfast and go through his work-out-routine before having to go after his duties as one of the leaders or wake up and train the initiates. But due to Tris shooting him in the thigh during the eradication and a concussion he had to stay in the hospital bed for at least 48 hours.
He let out a long sigh and rested his head back on the uncomfortable pillow, trying to fall back asleep but to no avail.
One hour passed before he decided to give up and call for breakfast.
Soon after a nurse strolled in with a cart, putting a breakfast tray on the desk but before Eric could dig in, she had to do the routine-check-up.

"The letter on the tray is from Max." The nurse clarified once she saw Eric eyeing the envelope.

The only thing on it was his name and even though the nurse said it was from Max, Eric knew that the handwriting belonged to someone else. To Vinnie.

"Next check-up will be in two hours. I'll leave you alone until then."

Eric immediately grabbed the envelope and ripped it open once the door closed. Two metal badges fell onto his lap but he didn't pay them as much attention because he was too curious about the content of the letter even though his curiosity was accompanied by dread.

Hi Big One!

You probably already figured out what this letter means but please (!), keep reading. There are things you need to know and things I desperately needed to tell you.
Yes, I didn't survive and yes, I did write this letter beforehand because of that weird feeling I had had about the war.
To be honest, I'm having a really hard time trying to word everything and keep it short but you'll probably end up reading a couple of pages instead of just one.
So...
The first thing that needs to be said is THANK YOU! For everything you've ever done, for supporting me in the beginning, for being there and helping me through hard times when others couldn't! Thank you for always being a constant in my life when my brother and Freyr couldn't be after you know what and thank you for being the best friend one could ever ask for!
It hurts my heart to think about you being the last one of the four of us left but promise me and promise yourself that you will keep going! Promise me to not let your own heart shatter after this. I know you're strong but I also know that you tend to blame yourself for things that you couldn't have changed no matter what.

You did it when Frank passed away and you did it when Freyr passed away, too. But please Eric! Don't take the blame for this one. You couldn't have done anything no matter what. Even if you were by my side, you probably still wouldn't have been able to prevent it. And please don't blame yourself for how we ended things before the war started. Please don't feel guilty for any of it.
It was entirely my fault for snapping at you like that. You deserve an apology and I apologize for being a coward and unable to say it to your face. Please know that I carried regret and the guilt with me to my grave for not giving you the apology and explanation you deserve.
Thank you also for staying by my side through all those years and for enduring the hard times I tended to give you every once in a while!
You're way too good to be true, big one!
Maybe you should know that Frank and Freyr said that too before you know what. Frank was proud for having had a brother from another mother like you and Freyr was always admiring the way you strode through life, how you handled things the way you did. With Frank, you were his idol.
You were also my idol.
Your professionalism amazed me every day but the way you treated the ones you were closest to was always something I admired about you.
I know you're not good with taking compliments and always say they're not true but they are! You truly are a good person, Eric, and I want you to finally realize that. And even if you refuse to believe that, please keep going like you did before and make other people feel like you made me feel. You made me proud of myself and you also made me the best version of myself and happy and content with everything even though most people say that my life must've been miserable because of all those people hating us. But all of that didn't matter because of all the experiences we shared together.