sunflowers | ✔️

// 39

TRIGGER WARNING!

Hesitation running in my veins,
reluctance to take the fall and possibly break.
I will not lead myself into destruction -
but the recklessness inside my brain says otherwise.

"Ignore the voice," I plead to myself,
"Impulsiveness for poor decisions isn't the choice."
But the booming gets louder,
"Do it. Do it. This is the only solution to cease the pain."

My eyes linger on my uncut skin,
I'm a healthy body, having no disabilities for living.
However, this voice inside my head is screaming,
and this sounds insane but I think they're correct.

I cut, I bleed, and it stings,
but the satisfaction coming with it is enough for me
to keep on going, to keep on cutting, this is the way.
I know it's wrong, I know it's foolish, but I can't stop - it's an addiction.

But then, my mind travels back to a time,
where I heard a beautiful voice ringing in my ears.
"Do you want to end your life or end the pain?" He asks,
"It takes time but heal your broken heart another way."

"I'm here for you. I'll cry with you. In a little bit of time it won't hurt so bad."

SISLEY SPEAKS. // don't worry, this isn't based on my own experience but from what i heard from my peers with their own experience from self-harming. i know it seems like the only solution right now but hang on. i got you. i love you and i know that there's so much ahead of you and you have so much potential to make this world a better place no matter how small the difference is. everything counts. every action to a better place is significant. ending your life isn't going to take away the pain but rather, take the pain to someone else who loves you dearly and has to spend their life grieving the loss of their loved one which is you. if you self-harm or have suicidal thoughts then please call a suicide hotline. we all believe in you. sending big amounts of love <3