sunflowers | ✔️

// 22

( a/n - song? poem? i'm not entirely sure. )

there's more to this life than
having success
so why can't i love myself
for what i am?

i love them for their qualities
and not their abilities
their skills don't matter to me -
so then, why is is the opposite for me?

it's like - besides myself - i can love
anyone who has a heart
and can use it for the great or good
and, surprisingly, i'm one of those people

so why can't i adore myself?
appreciate myself and be
kind to myself.. to look out
for me because i'm worth it (i think)

over these past years, unintentionally
i've molded myself to hate everything
i'm made out of...
to be nice to them and not me

why is self-love so hard to achieve?

probably because i'm not good at anything...

all the simplest of things are way too hard for me

socializing with strangers? impossible. taking leaps
and confidently striding in taking opportunities? what,
i haven't heard of that. is that some kind of foreign concept?

i want attention but i hate when the spotlight's on me
i hate it when people don't do what's necessary, but, oh
i'm such a hypocrite — look at me
a procrastinator, and a needy girl, who's life is so insignificant
that it's easy to miss

over the billions of people on here
i'm the most unworthy to be standing
i apologize for bringing people
into this mess of a person

and now see, i'm going off topic again
can this even be considered poetry or a song?
perhaps this is just rambling, a whine which is unnecessary

self-hatred fills my lungs
it's hard to breathe with it
this poem is probably the most
cry for help one i've done
— i'm so pathetic

this isn't most likely going to make the cut
so if this does end up being published —
just ignore this chapter and go on with your life
there's more deserving people out there who needs saving