Dear Jenny,
Hey sweetie.
I miss you so much, and its only been two months. Two months without you is like forever. Think about what it'll be like in the future. I don't even know how I'm getting by, now.
I've gotten worse. I hate to say it, but you were my hero. You saved me in my worst times, and I don't think you understand how appreciative I am of that. I was in a dark place, and you pulled me out. The day I met you, you know, at the meet and greet in Sydney, well, I was going to kill myself that night. I know it was a bad thing to do, especially to the fans, my mum, my sister, to he boys, for Christ sakes. I was going to kill myself. I can't believe myself. But hey, one more thing wrong about myself, it won't make anything worse.
But now I'm back to the start. I'm trying to find happiness in every little thing, like you told me. I can't. I just can't. I don't know why. The fans, they are so beautiful, so happy, well, they look happy. Most of them are going through what I am. And the funny thing is, that they have no idea. And I'm terrified for them. The world is a scary place. People die all the time, and I'm sitting here wanting to die. When someone like you, would give anything to be here, again. God, the thing I hate most in the world is cancer. God, cancer sucks. All you ever did wrong was love me. That's the worst you did. Ya know? But I'm glad you did. I'm so glad. But now, I can't even see you. I'm slowly forgetting things about you. Which is making everything worse. I try to remember every detail about you. Just to keep myself together. I'm pathetic.
Anyway, I better go.
I'm here without you, baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you, baby
And I dream about you all the time
-Here Without You
I love you more than life itself.
-Calum. xx
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YO. SO DOUBLE UPDATE BECAUSE I SUCK AND STILL HAVE LIKE 9 CHAPTERS ALREADY WRITTEN OUT!!! (Okay tbh I didn't do the correct math because I have a headache and I hate math so don't think I'm stupid. Pls.)
Enjoy, this is a super short chapter but you'll probably get another update tonight if I get too impatient with myself. Oops.
Love y'all.
Stay happy, not crappy.
Love yourselves.💚
YOU ARE READING
Jenny.
Fanfiction"How could you give someone so peaceful to the world, something so fucked up towards the world?" I ask 'god', thinking he could hear me. "She was one of the best things I had... And you took her away from me.. Just like that? What did I do? What di...
