How Much I Know - a Renegades | Marissa Meyer fan fiction

Chapter 29

Kahless sat back in her stool during breakfast, shoveling a salad into her mouth. She always felt like eating was a waste of her time, so she finished quickly.

Kahless stood up and deposited her dishes on the rack to be cleaned, and stepped out of the cafeteria. She moved her feet in Max's direction.

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"Kahless, have you seen the news?" he asked frantically. The look on her face told that she hadn't. "Mara's father was killed."

Kahless sucked in a lung full of air. "Is there more information?"

"Yes. Last night, Hamel Umidore was stabbed in the chest with a kitchen knife. But he was surrounded by a villain gang, who all were dead, most likely of physical attacks such as punches and kicks. He seemed to be the only one a weapon was used on."

Kahless gaped at Max. "We need to talk to Mara. Now."

Max nodded without making a sound.

Kahless brought her wrist up to her face and typed a message to Mara.

Where are you? Have you heard the news?

"There, it's sent," Kahless said. She found a reply a few seconds later.

No. What is it? What happened?

"That was fast," Kahless commented. She quickly typed her own message.

Your father was killed last night. Come here now, and we'll explain.

There was a thirty-four-second pause before Mara returned Kahless's message.

I'm on my way now.

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When Mara arrived, Kahless was muttering worriedly to Max. When she saw Mara walk in, Kahless waved to her but immediately noticed Mara hanging her head. This Kahless had never seen before; Mara was always energetic and smiling. Her father's death meant a lot to her, it seemed.

"Tell me what happened, Max. Get this over with, please." Mara spoke in a tone that was dead. Her voice was hollow and lacking emotion. There was nothing left in her.

Max and Kahless looked at each other worriedly. This was not good. Anything distressing enough to drive Mara to a mess must be very distressing.

Max sat up straighter. "Mara, last night your father was killed. Stabbed through the heart with his kitchen knife. He was surr-"

"I know the rest," Mara cut in. "I was there. It all happened so fast..." She couldn't continue because her throat clogged in tears.

Once Mara was strong enough to speak, she continued. "I was there. My father brought a villain gang into our house and asked me to make dinner for them. I used the meal you cooked and gave it to them, but then they said they would kill me. They described it in relative detail. I thought... I lost control. I killed them. They died in front of my eyes, and I didn't feel remorse. I didn't even regret it! And then... I left my father without looking back. I judged him the way I vowed never to judge someone ever again. I did everything I have sworn against.I can never live this down in all my life." Mara pulled her knees to her chest and bit her lip. "How could I have been so stupid? How can I ever live with myself now?"

Kahless frowned in sympathy. Sometimes she didn't realize that other people still had memory. Invariably, Mara was seeing the same scene over and over again in her head like Kahless saw. She shivered. "Mara, how did your father die?" Kahless's voice was soft, worried that Mara would break under any harsher a tone.

"Suicide, I'm sure of it. He told me that he had now lost his last child. I suppose there was nothing left for him, so he didn't need to survive any longer. It's my fault. I basically killed him. If only I had thought more about my actions. And I told him that he should be the one to die!"

Kahless reached forward and wrapped her arms around Mara. "What is done is done, Mara. As much as you hate yourself right now, there is nothing you can change about that night. Your father is dead, and the other members of that gang are, too. You have to get over it, or else you are a grieving mess that can't manage to get on her feet. You can cry, but you need to be strong now. Nothing is going to get better if you don't make it happen. Please, Mara," Kahless urged.

Mara raised her bloodshot eyes. "I'll try my best."

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Kahless's pencil scratched across the paper as she submerged herself in the drawing. The scene she was creating was of Gatlon Bay. The water glistened in the morning light, while the birds flocked across the horizon. Kahless had seen this perspective once with her mother. They had walked to the beach and leaned into one another as the sun rose. They had been up earlier than anyone else, and it felt like the world was hers.

A few weeks later had proved otherwise.

"Kahless, what are you thinking about?" Mara asked. She had noticed Kahless's drawn expression.

Kahless knew better than to lie. It wouldn't do either of them any good. "My mother," she explained simply.

Mara nodded grimly. "I guess Narcissa and I are orphans now. We need to find a place to stay."

Kahless asked, "Where did you sleep last night, then?"

"We didn't. We were both in shock and I was still raw with anger. There was no way we could sleep after that. Besides, the temperature was pleasant." Mara let out a choked sound. She was better, but would never be over her father's death.

"Yes, Mara, I know. I know," Kahless comforted, rubbing Mara's back.

They were in Mara's house. The Renegades had cleared the blood and bodies away, so the whole house smelled of bleach. It was a painful reminder of what had happened the night before. Kahless was sketching a scene in Mara's notebook to pass the time; Narcissa was sleeping; Mara was watching Kahless's adept hands work with the pencil.

"Where did you learn to draw so well, Kahless?" she asked.

Kahless sighed. "I asked Adrian for lessons. I remembered every word that came out of his mouth." She winked.

"Ah." Mara nodded.

Kahless chewed on her pencil. "This is a few weeks before my mother's death. I thought the world was ours. I thought she couldn't die. There was nothing that could stop the two of us. But I was naive and wrong. I learned my lesson the hard way."

"Me too," Mara said. Kahless was curious. What had Mara learned the hard way?

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said and left the room.

Kahless stared after her with an ache in her heart. The world would never be Mara's, no matter how much she deserved it. It was not fair, but it was real. And being real does not always mean good things.