How Much I Know - a Renegades | Marissa Meyer fan fiction

Chapter 31

Mara sat back and rubbed her eyes, careful to not make a move to signify annoyance. She looked over to Narcissa's sleeping form. Her face looked peaceful, and a drip of saliva made its way out of the left corner of her mouth. Mara expressed a watery smile. She loved her life, she really did. Helping people was her dream and her passion. It was what she lived for, really. There was no way she could indulge herself without feeling guilty. As if she didn't have enough guilt anyway.

Mara thought of her father's face, already fading fast from her memory. If only she had taken Kahless to see him in better daylight, then she could have drawn a portrait for Mara. Alas, it was her fault anyway. It was only fair for her.

She would do anything to relieve herself of the guilt that curdled her stomach every waking hour. Anything anyone could ask.

She was Hamel Umidore's daughter, but she was the one who disgraced him and promoted him to die by suicide. How could she live?

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The door slammed open. A feeling of cold and darkness engulfed Mara. She took a deep breath. This was a prodigy. She could face them.

The question was if she wanted to. Did she deserve to die?

Then, Mara remembered Narcissa. It wasn't fair to force death on her.

"Who are you and what do you want?" she asked in a hollow voice. She couldn't bring herself to sound upbeat anymore.

The darkness spun, tightening around her torso. "I sense fear is low in you tonight. Tell me why. Or else..."

The threat was clear, but even the low dangerous voice couldn't sway her guilt-ridden stature. "Whatever you do, do not harm or awaken the girl sleeping in the other room. Or else..." Mara let herself a small smile at her half-threat. It was the only thing Mara could do at that point. It was the best thing she could do for Narcissa.

The unnamed prodigy laughed without humor. "What could you do to me? You're alone except for that 'girl sleeping in the other room.' And she can't do anything to me. Good luck with that."

Mara raised her head slowly. "Oh, I don't want luck. Luck doesn't help you, only power. I'm not naive. I am not daunted by suffering. I welcome it. So whatever you can do, it's nothing compared to what I've seen these past few days. Good luck. Now I think you can leave." She was playing at his own game; threats and all. Mostly, she just wanted him to leave her in silence.

"You haven't yet answered my question."

Mara sat in silence. She felt around the prodigy's power. He mentioned fear... Phobia, without a doubt. When she let a drop of his energy enter her conscience, she felt her stomach clench slightly in fear. It was Phobia, all right. "I don't know why you need an answer, Phobia." She used his alias to get him slightly on-edge.

The villain was silent for a moment and the shadows tightened, which was answer enough. She had confused him. "All right, Mara, I have power over you, whether you care to admit it or not."

"Not if I don't have fear." She was just restating his first sentence to her.

The shadows seized up around her throat, choking her. She refused to feel fear. It was stupid, after all. She wasn't in any danger; she still had her powers.

"Why are you not scared?" Phobia growled.

"What if I am, and you just can't feel it? Or maybe I have no reason to. Or maybe there are feelings stronger than fear." At the last sentence, Mara narrowed her eyes. "Are you satisfied with my answer now?" She all but dared him to push her further. She still was shrouded in a cloud of grief. Her answers were as much devoid of life as his, if not more.

The shadows tightened, netting around her, before retreating back into Phobia's cloak. "I won't forget this, girl," he said before sweeping out of the door.

Mara ran over the dialogue in her mind. She sounded... ruthless and brutal. How could that be? She was supposed to be the kind, soft, accommodating person; not the power-hungry lunatic she had just displayed.

Did that actually happen? she asked herself.

Yes, indeed, she replied.

Mara sat there in shock for a second, trying desperately to justify her words. In the end, she couldn't find a reason and hung her head in despair. Her tears stained her chocolate brown skirt.

What was she becoming?

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Brrrring! Brrrring! her communicator exclaimed. Mara raised her head sorely. She checked the message.

Come quick. Nova entered the quarantine.
- Kahless

Mara's body was working faster than her brain. She scribbled a note to Narcissa and left it on the table, grabbed her fanny pack, and was out the door before she could process the message.

Nova had entered Max's quarantine? Why? That was a stupid move. All of her power would be gone permanently in good time.

Why why why?

The lights of Renegade HQ got closer, but too slowly... too slowly...