How Much I Know - a Renegades | Marissa Meyer fan fiction

Chapter 14

Kahless slept poorly that night. Her thoughts about that day were a jumble, and she was afraid if she didn't keep herself occupied she would never be able to escape her memories. She could have pulled on the days that she had spent in the public library, memorizing shelves of books, but she was worried that pulling on memories would give them the ability to overpower her.

She collected her bag of belongings and glanced at the clock. 10:36. If she did get tired later - which she doubted - she'd have at least a few hours of sleep. That was enough.

Kahless opened the door of her room silently. She walked through the abandoned corridor, marveling at its stillness. During the day the building was packed with prodigies, but at night there was a tranquility to it that Kahless savored. Until...

"Karen?" Adrian's voice asked. She turned around, startled. She saw Adrian sitting on one of the couches in the game room.

"That's me," she said hesitantly. She should not tell him anything about herself. Even if he was Adrian Everheart, Kahless had a feeling that he was terrible at keeping secrets.

"Who are you?" he questioned. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "My dads won't tell me anything about you. Just that you're special and they don't want anyone to kill you. But I don't like being kept in the dark about this. What do you know?"

Kahless was deeply regretting ever leaving her room in the first place. She could bear another night of boredom if it would save her from this encounter. She didn't want to make Adrian's and her relationship any more strained than it was now.

"If your dads won't tell you who - or what - I am, then it would be best for you not to know." Kahless tried to end the conversation there, but the boy was persistent.

"Please. I won't tell anyone, not even my patrol team. Please. I just want to understand what's happening in the world around me." He then added, "And how I can help it."

Kahless didn't miss the fact that he added the last part a full second after the rest. She met his eyes sympathetically, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to regret this. So I won't tell you anything. If you could forget this whole encounter it would be quite lovely. I apologize for taking up your time, but I was hoping to use a computer sometime tonight." She brushed past him and pushed the button for the elevator. The doors opened in a few seconds and without another word, she stepped inside. The doors closed on a disoriented Adrian gaping at her.

She sighed. If only she didn't have to lie all the time.

As she exited the elevator car, she was faced with floor 17; rows of research computers that Renegades used for background information for missions, or just to do some reading up on history. It was where Kahless usually went when she needed another world to escape to; a place where she wasn't plagued by her relentless mind. And, as a bonus, it was useful when she could remember it later.

Kahless went to one of the computers and searched for "Incident Reports." She didn't know why she chose that topic, but she realized that if she ever met anyone who was documented in these reports, it would be nice to know a bit more about them.

She clicked on the first - happening to be the most recent of them - and started reading through it, word by word. It was different from her usual style, which was to click on everything and store the text in her brain, to be read later, such as before she fell asleep, etc. Instead, Kahless actually read and comprehended the passages while she sat at the computer. Each of the reports varied in length, depending upon the information available and the importance of the case.

She had been reading for so long that she had gotten back three years before she yawned, stretching her arms over the back of the chair. She glanced at the clock. 2:19 am. Kahless stood and shut down her computer. It's screen went black and Kahless was thrown into a memory.

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She was nine, and had been working for the Council for four years. She went to public school, but didn't enjoy it because all it was was learning to regurgitate information, a skill Kahless could reciprocate quite easily. The Council had hoped that friends and a "real life" would proceed the enrollment. But Kahless found herself reading most of the day. The teachers had no idea that their top student was really in her own fictional world all the times she was staring intently at the chalkboard. And friends were out of the question. No one really wanted to interact with an ugly orphan who lived at headquarters and stared off into space half the day. Kahless knew that she was part of the problem. If she would make a conscious effort to find friends, maybe she would. But she didn't want 'friends.' She was alone in her mind, and trying to hide that would only make the truth more painful.

Kahless was sitting at a computer, downloading more text to read, When a boy with bronze skin and a warm smile faced her. He cleared his throat. "My name is Antony. I know you're not a social person, but I was wondering what you are reading?" He motioned to the screen.

Kahless caught on immediately. No one was ever nice to her just to be nice. If anyone bothered to talk to her it was to insult or prank her. This was definitely the latter. Antony - who was the self-appointed leader of a group of boys at the school - would probably have some of his minions behind her right now, changing the display so it showed a very offensive article or the like. When the teacher came in, he would see the... colorful words on Kahless's screen and she'd most certainly be expelled. She decided that intimidation was the best technique for Antony's action. If she turned around and tried to delete the page, she'd be playing right into his hands.

"What are you reading? Very immature, indeed." She clicked her tongue. "Last time I think the page was... Curse Words 4 Babies? Really, what has this world come to?"

The boy looked intimidated, just as she had hoped. "Umm, turn around and see." The pitch of his voice raised at the end, making it sound like a question.

She laughed. "Why should I do anything you suggest?" Kahless asked innocently.

He looked worried. "Because I -" He was cut off by the teacher, Mr. Brooke, storming back into the room. Antony hurried to return to his seat before the teacher saw him, but he was too late.

"Antony! What are you doing? Sit down!" he ordered. He turned in Kahless's direction and gasped. "This isn't happening!" he squeaked before turning on his heel and running back down the hallway.

Kahless, curious as always, spun around in her chair, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever it was that had given Mr. Brooke such a fright. She was only able to catch the last few dim pixels as the display flickered out at the pull of the power switch. Dillon - one of Antony's minions - stood there, plug in hand, grinning madly.

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Kahless clenched her teeth. She had spent an entire evening trying to discourage her memories, and then they came up again. Just as Kahless shut down the computer.

Kahless turned the screen on again, all notion of sleep lost. She once again searched "Incident Reports," and continued reading through the stories.

She couldn't sleep, no matter how exhausted she was. Her mind was too active and she got shivers at just the thought of returning to a room where there was nothing to distract her from her own mind. Researching the Renegade database was her much-favored choice.

After a few hours, Kahless's thoughts drifted, but she didn't try to stop them. She was too exhausted to care.