Mera Marz e Mustamir

Episode 8 part 1

"kia bat ha nirmal itni khamosh kion ho aaj"saman ne chehre pr ai laton ko kan k pechy arsa phir samny bethi khamosh c nirmal se puchny lgi
"kch nhi bas tmse kch bat krni thi tm kb farigh hogi"nirmal ne saman k agay bikhre huy bartano ko dekhty huy kaha saman dining table pr rat k khanay k lye brtan lga rhi thi..
"Aaa. han han abhe free hojati hun phir hum khana bhe khaengy or tm bat bhe bta dena  "usny mzy se plates sajaty huy kaha
"nhi khana...nirmal ki bat adhuri reh gai jb sako begum kitchen se donga bahar laty huy masnoi ghusse se goya huin.."Kion nai khayega toom"unki urdu kafi kamzor thi unky baraks saman ki urdu kafi behtr thi kion k wo bollywood dekh dekh kr he bri hui thi or ub nirmal k sath bol bol kr uski langri urdu ko chalna bhe agya tha..
"Aam tomko chingri bhaat khilayega"unho ne donga table pr rkhty huy nirmal ka kandha thapthapaya tou nirmal ne na smjji se saman ki trf dekha goya keh rhi ho k mujhe bchao saman ne hasi zabt kr k nirmal ko btaya k chingri bangali main shrimps(jheengy)ko kaha jata ha or bhaat  lfz chawalon k lye istimal hota ha shrimps ka naam sun kr tou nirmal ko ubkai anay lgi .."aaa nhi nhi aunty asal ma na mujhe shrimps nhi psnd..."usny hichkichaty huy kaha tha aunty ki pur khuloos offer ko thukraty huy usay bilkul bhe acha nhi lg rha tha "koi bot noi toom daal maash ar bhaat kha lo or sobzi bhe ha or goru(gaain) ka gosht bhe ha"wo usay dongon ka dhakkan utar utar kr sari dishes dikhany lgien nirmal k lye naa ki gunjaish baqi na rhi usny haar tasleem krli or saman ki trf dekh kr sar asbaat main hila dia jispy saman ki bachen mazeed khul gaen....
**********************************
khana khtm kr k ub cofee k mugs lye wo dono drawing room main bethi thein saman mbil pr kch typ kr rhi thi or nirmal baychyni main cup k kono pr unglian pher rhi thi ..."kia kr rhi ho nirmal cofee thundi hojyegi"saman ki awaz pr wo sochon ki dunia se bahar ai tou saman ko hairan paya wo hairan isilye thi kion k nirmal se bara shyd he koi chai cofee ka deewana usny dekha ho or aaj na jany kia hua tha k nirmal ki cofee paray paray thundi hochuki thi..."or tmne shyd koi bat krni thi " usny gol chashmy ko utar kr tissue se saf krty huy  kaha
"saman jo bat main tmhe btany ja rhi hun tum wo sab mujh jesi lrki se shyd expect na kro"nirmal ne afsurdgi se sar jhtka
"kion"saman ne bhuwen uchka kr usse pucha "kia hua ha aisa nirmal kia kiya ha tumne?"saman ka dil dharak rha tha go k wo inn sab baton ko sunne ki aadi thi mgr nirmal aisa kch kregi wo ye kbhe khuwab main bhe nhi soch skti thi..
"Ma...main.."nirmal k lye wo sharam se doob marny ka muqam tha mgr usky pas or koi chara nhi tha or koi razdan nhi tha.."for God sake nirmal bolo ub"saman sofay se uth kr usky kareeb akr beth gai..."main katy k baray bhai ko psnd krti hun ..."nirmal ne nzrain jhukaye rkhin or aik he sans main bolti gai agr wo ruk jati tou phir shyd kbhe bhe apny dil ka raaz afshan na kr pati.."or?..or kia kiya tmne?..saman ko tou na jany kia khadshat thy..."or or bas main uski pics roz dekhti hun usko duaon main mangti hun din rat wo meri sochon pr sawar rehta ha or muje lgta ha main pagal hojaongi agr wo mujje na mila Agr Allah ne meri na suni tou ma.main mar jaongi saman main mar jaongi..."nirmal ki ankhon se ansooun ka samandar beh rha tha saman usay abhe tk iss trah rotay huy dekh kr hairan thi wo lrki jisko khuda pr kitna bharosa tha wo aaj aik matti k putlay aik mamoli se insan ko khou dene k dar se apni duaon pr shak kr rhi thi k agr uski dua kubool na hui tou wo mar jyegi....ye Agr ...ye agr kia hota ha?jahan yaqeen ho kia wahan bhe Agr ajata ha?..shyd isi agr ki wajha se he insan mayoos hota chla jata ha .."Tum chup kro mar jaogi rou rou kr main pani lati hun"saman uski halat dekh kr dar gai thi uski ankhain bay tahasha ronay ki waja se surkh or soujh gai thein
"Tum tou bilkul pagal ho nirmal...jis trah tm rou rhi thein mujhe lga pta nhi aisa kia kr bethi ho ..lakin jo kch tmne btaya wo mere lye bht funny ha im sorry to say but this is not love its just a temporary crush nirmal and you are overthinking about it kion k tumne shyd kbhe pehly iss typ ki situation deal nhi ki mohabat aise nhi hojati k dekh k fida hojao its not about looks mera manna ha k mohabbt tb hoti ha jb insan dusre insan ki har burai ko dekhy or accept bhe kre uski ruh se mohabbat kre usky wajood se nhi chill tum bht ziada sochti ho nirmal mujhe agr ye sab tm pehly bta deti tou sara masla ub tk hal hojata by the way tumne kbhe usse bat ki kbhe usay real lyf main dekha?"saman ne muskuraty huy nirmal ka gal thapthapaya..
or wo bas usay aik tik dekhy ja rhi thi surkh ankhain jinmy jazbat toot kr bikher jany k lye tayar thy kch der wo usay yun he dekhti rhi ankhon se sawal krti rhi or phir
"Or agr ksi ki khatir  adhi rat ko apna naram garam bister chor kr apni pursukoon gehri neend ko bhula kr thund ki raton ko thunday pani se wudhu kr k tahajud k sajdon main rou rou kr ksi ko  manga jye k jb tk ankhain ansoo baha baha kr  jalny na lgen or lab aik he nam le le kr sookh jyn or hath mang mang kr thak na jyn tb bhe kia srf attraction hoti ha??tb bhe kia srf or srf aik wqti lagao hota ha?tb bhe kia mohabat nhi hoti....?. saman maine manga ha usay fajr ki azanon tk main janti hun mere dil main uska kia muqam ha ..."usny apni trf ungli kr k jataya k usky lye ye saray ehsas wqti nhi hain usky lye wo sab shyd uski sanson ki manid thy  . ...saman kch lamhon k lye khamoshi se usay takti rhi "Agr aisa ha tou main tmhare sath hun btao kia krun tmhare lye"madham awaz main jese sarghoshion k sur or taal nirmal ki samaton se ja takraye "janti hun ksi ko khou dene ka dar kesa hota ha khou jo chuki hun"usny narmi se nirmal ka hath dabaya or aik naya inkashaf bhe kar dala...."tum ne mujhe bht kch dia main tmhe srf kch dena chahun gi or main wo sab krne k lye tayar bhe hun tmhe sunne k lye bhe tmhara sath dene kye bhe tum janti ho maine tmhare agay Rafay ka ziker kion nhi kia ...kion k mujhe lgta tha tum ye kbhe nhi smjh skogi k mohabat ka jazba kia hota ha shyd tm ye naa jaan sako k mere dil main bhe aik shkhs ka kitna bara mukaam ha lakin maine usay chor dia main badnaam hun k mera mazi acha nhi rha meri maa mujh pr shakk krti rhi mere bap ne rafay ko usky nasab uski ghareebi ki waja se or srf or srf mujhse bay panah mohabbat krne k jurm main sar e rah zaleel kia usay mara mgr wo khamoshi se sab seh gya or phir iss buri lrki ne ..."wo ruki k ansoo beh he jyn bar bar nzron k agay dhund lye kharay thy behny he diya jye inhe..."or phir iss buri lrki ne usay chor dia srf apny ma bap ki izzat ki laaj rkh li or apni har khushi unhe tohfe main de di...main waqaie bht buri hun nirmal tum kia jano main kitni buri hun..."wo istehzaiya hasi aisi hasi jisny nirmal ko hila k rkh dia wo lrki kia kch seh chuki ha or phir bhe usky chehre par malal nhi wo kin kin rahon se guxr k agai or usny thaknay ka bahana tk na bnaya wo kitni raton ko roti rhi or unn ankhon ki siyahi ko chashme k peechy chupa kr wo kese muskurati thi nirmal ko aik bar phirse uspy rashk aya wo tou minar ko panay se pehlay he khou dene ka soch soch kr moat k kitny kareeb ly ai ha khud ko lakin saman tou rafayko paa kar khou chuki ha or kitni takleef hoti ha jab ksi ko paa kar khou dia jye....usny socha wo ub hansay gi moujze ki umeed ma he sahi wo khud ko pehlay jesa krne ki koshish zaroor kregi....iradon ne pukhtagi ka khoobsurat libaas orh lia or umeedon ne zor zor se gana shru kia ..
"Tum seh lo gi
tum seh lo gi
dil ki bat tum keh lo gi
tum uske bina bhe reh lo gi
ye koi khof nhi ye koi darr nhi
ye tou bas zakhm ka drd ha isay tm seh lo gi
arzoo khtm na krna jo brh jye dard kbhe
marham krny umeedain ajyngi
khuwaishon se zindagi udhaar le lo gi
tum seh lo gi tum seh lo gi....
**********************************
pista rung ki poshak par sunheri jaali se mukhtalif design bny huy thy or unn jalion par nanhy nanhy heere numa sunhere mootee chamak rhy thy roup ki rani bni wo khud ko khud he na pehchan pai jb saman ne usky samny ayna kia tou uska mun wow main khul gya wo saman ki qabliat pr usay nzron se daad dene par majboor hogai saman ne uska chehra apny samny kia "koi btaye tou sahi ye pari pakistan ki konsi jheel pr utri thi"nirmal ne muskura kr uski tareef ko qubool kia jese wo aaj waqaie iss bat ko qubool krne pr majboor hrhi ho k wo ksi pari se kum nhi lg rhi aaj asim k valimay ka function tha pehly dou functions main wo bilkul sadgi se tayar hokar gai thi or ghr main honay waly function ma jo kch hua wo usny apni diary main kch iss trah se bayan kia tha..
**Ajeeb insan tha khamosh sunsaan apni he dunia ma gum usay parwa nhi thi jaise k ird gird dunia ka shor usay gheray huy ha...Jahan se guzrta apni alag adaa ka asar chor kr jata jhuki nzrain madham c muskaan sajaye wo jb bhe apni nzrain opar uthata tou safaid chamkta chehra surkhion ma dhal jata..yun lgta tha kbhe bhe ksi ki khoobsurti ne usay dusre larkon ki trah pagal nhi kia ...wo kch or dhundta tha ...Roup dab daba dil ki bat mun pr keh dena unchi munfarid soch rkhna ..parwa krna tou bay hadd krna or ghusssa ajye tou bss ghazab hojye...Wo alag tha han jisay ma hamesha ajeeb smjhti thi wo shakhs alag tha ..Mujhe usky roup dab daby wali shakhsiat se khof ata tha ye kaisa ha jaise kbhe hansta he nhi hoga zaroor 24 ghnty para chrha rehta hoga dekho zara bnda kum se kum tasveer ma tou muskra deta ha ..usay koi fikr kahan thi k log kia sochty hain bss wo tou apni krta tha jo dil ma aya kr dala.Mgr kismat ne darwaza he usi k haton khulwa dia...Ma ne dekha koi dur se ata ha pairon ka saya tk dikhta ha pr darwaza jaise he khula wo gate samaith ghyb hojata ha ma tou waqaie uss din darrr gai thi ye tou waqaie bhttt ajeeb ha bhala aise bhe koi gate k peechy chupta ha ub kia ma isay khaa jati...jitni dair tk ma or uski behn apas ma bat krty rhy wo wahin gate k peechy chupa rha kalay kapry kala gate or kali rat bachat hogai....hum jaise he andar gye usny gate bnd kia or ye gya wo gya.....uss din wo jb bhe ksi kam se andar ata ma apna mun iss trah chupati jis trah wo khud chup gya tha gate k peechy.. wo kion itna ajeeb ha kion k wo ksi ki trf dekhta nhi wo apni har chez ma itna magan rehta ha k usay koi parwa nhi rehti kon kia krta ha or kia sochta ha..** ..wo usay chup chup kr dekhny ki koshish krti mgr na dekh pati nzr uth kr bhe na uth pati  ghani palkain uth ti or girtin bas yehi khel hota rha or wo bas unhe yadon ko dil k kamron main bnd krti rhi uski jhalkion ko ankhon k camere main bhrti rhi or yun sham dhalti rhi wo sab k sath mil kr geet gati rhi wo bahar sehan main betha  tha kash wo sunleta k aaj aik pagal c larki usay apny geeton main kia kia pegham bhej rhi ha hawa bhe uski awaaz k jadu main phas chuki thi or jhoom jhoom kar deewani hrhi thi wo konay main betha sarshaar sa hukkay k ksh laga rha tha ksh par ksh usay bas wahan kam kaj k lye bethna para warna wo ghr se bahar he rehta hawa k zor pr usky bal jo usny peechy ki trf set kiye huy thy ur ur kar mathy pr bkher rhy thy bar bar wo hath se apnay balon ko sahi krta wo gaati rhi or hawa minar k mun se niklty hukkay k dhuain ko ura ura kar nirmal k pas ly jati or wo dhuan phir uski awaaz se ja takrata or yun sur or taal bnty or kainaat bhe jhoom jhoom jati..kitna khoobsurat din tha fasle kitny kum thy uski ankhain kese chamak rhi thein mehboob k gird honay ka ehsas kitna sukoon de rha tha .. phir wo uthi isha prhni thi gano main aisi magan hui k sab duain bhool gai....mishkat ne usay janemaz bicha di or khud phirse lrkion k sath ja kr dusre kamry ma beth gai...usky ghr pr uski janemaz par usko mangny k lye wo sajday kr rhi thi usny wqt ko rokna chaha ye namaz wo jaldi puri nai krna chahti thi iss namaz main usky kareeb honay ka ehsas bhe sath tha moujza hoga ye yaqeen or pukhta hogya tha or dua...dua main bas kxh he pal he reh gye hon jese wo itna kareeb tha usky k Rab bhe kun keh de ga usay yaqeen tha...phir usny chupke se puray ghr ko dekha konay konay ko dekha mishkat ne pehlay he usay sab kmry dikhaye thy minar ka kamra wo bht der tk dekhna chahti thi mgr uski ye khuwaish bhe adhuri reh gai wo bas aik nzr he dekh pai thi ub tou usky kamry main sab larky koi kushti ka medan saja kr bethy thy wo kese dekhe phir usny uss aynay main khud ko dekha jismy wo roz khud ko dekhta hoga uss aynay ne bhe dil k sb bhed khol diye sari guthian suljha dien ayny ki table pr chewing gums k packet bikhre paray thy usny sab ko chuha wo muskurati rhi uska dil kia airiyon k bal wo wahin ghoom jye jhoom jye or bas ek he naam ka wird kre Minar Minar Minar or usky ghr k dar o deewaron pe usky dil ka raaz afshan ho or wo apas main sarghoshian krny lgen dekho ye tou uska naam le rhi ha han shyd ye uski deewani ha or hum usay ye btayngy hum iska raaz usay btayngy or ye usay manzor tha k wo uska raaz khol den phir wo ghr k furniture ko chunay lgi aik aik jga ko ghor se dekhti wo yahan beth ta hogw wo yahan se chal kr jata hoga or usky qadam bhe isi farsh pr kitni dfa lgy hongy jahan usky qadam iss wqt lg rhy thy wo ghr paraya tha mgr kitni apnaiyat thi usmy kion k  wo usky ksi apnay ka ghr tha or apnay shkhs tou har shay he apni lgti haina ...
************************************
Phir aik nai khuwaish aik nai umeed bandhay wo tayar hui or bht ziada tayar hui zindagi main pehli bar usny itna ziada makeup kia tha saman ne usay waqie koi pari bna dia tha jo jb bhe ksi k samnay jalwa gar hogi tou wo usay dekhny par majboor hojyega kia wo mujhe dekhy ga?uska dil dharak utha kia main ussy achi lgungi?..mishkat kehti thi k wo ksi lrki ko nhi dekhta usay mohabat ishq sB jhoot lgta ha wo asim ki love marriage pr bhe bht ghusa ha usay inn tamam jazbati baton se chir ha..tou kia,?kia main bhe usky lye aik aam lrki he rahungi ...or inhi sochon main phir aik or soch ubhri....kia ye sab jo main kr rhi hun wo thik ha?...main ksi na mehram ko dekhanay k lye uski tawaju k lye itna tayar hui hun k main apna chehra tk usay dikhany k lye tayar hun....?...nafs ne sarghoshi ki "Nhi" or dil ko shaitan ne jesee thaptapaya ...ye mouqa phir nhi ana ye tou Allah ne khud tmhe dia ha or konsa tm koi ghalat kam kr rhi ho?tm tou bas usay apni zat k honay ka ehsas dilana chah rhi hona agr wo tmhe pehchany ga he nhi tou tmhari trf brhega kese?..dua k sath dawa bhe tou lazim haina tum jo bhe kr rhi ho usay apny lye halal krne k lye he kr rhi ho kch ghalat nhi ismy....or yun shaitaan ka pehla teer kaman se nikla or seedha nishany pr lga...qadam dagmaga gye kanton ka rasta chun lia gya nafs  "Nhi""NHI"....cheekhty cheekhty himmat har gya thak gya or dil "mujhe bachao mujhe bchao iss mardood shaitan ki thapthapi se"chilata rha or phir jese dil k lye sans lena muhaal hogya or usny bhe rona bnd krdia warna wo mar jata...
**********************""""""********
Umar bhar ki musafatain yun he zaya gaen
ek shakhs ki sadgi mujhe har shay se bhaa gai