My Love

Chapter 2: Meeting Her

July 8, 2012. The day my life changed forever. I remember that day with so much clarity. I remember her with so much clarity. That day was the day of my audition. And it was the day I met her. Easy to see why it's so important to me. I've thought many times about getting that date tattooed since it was so vital in my life. Thinking back to that day brings up so many emotions and so many feelings. The nausea from my nervousness. The headache from my anxiety. The pain in my legs from standing all the day. The sound of my bumping in my ears from my heart jumping out it's chest. I remember it all too well.

Two years ago

I'm standing in the mile long line. It's a hot day, but not as hot as I'm used to since we're in North Carolina and I'm used to triple digit Miami summer heat. I feel the tiredness from waking up at 4 am starts to take its vicious toll on my body but my anxiety keeps my brain energized. Little by little. The day drags on. Just like I do in the line that seemed to go on forever.

Finally in the late evening it's my turn to audition. I've never been so nervous or scared in my life. I turned to my dad and he senses my nervousness. He's always been a very intuitive person. That's definitely where I got it from.

"Relax, Lauren. Go on that stage and kick ass. You're gonna be great. I know it." He says before he places a kiss on my cheek.

"Thanks dad. Thanks so much." I say as I stuff my head in his shoulder and hug him. I feel the rest of my family's arms wrap around us.

"Lauren, we're ready for you." The lady says in a cheerful voice. I turn around back to my family and they all give me more signs of encouragement.

'Ok, Lauren. You can do this. Breathe in and breathe out.' I think to myself. I listen to what my brain tells me. I walk onto the stage and sing my heart out.

Obviously I get through to the next round. I was so elated. I was in a euphoric state. We decided to stay to watch other auditions. It was the end of the day and I saw a girl crying. A man who I assumed to be her father was very upset and was talking to my dad. An X Factor worker soon arrived onto the scene.

"We have to get this girl an audition. She's waited all day. Please." They both begged.

"Alright. You have a 1% chance of auditioning so don't get your hopes up too high." The lady said.

I saw the young girl lift her face out of her hands. And for the first time, I got to admire her beauty. Her brown eyes, her caramel skin, her long dark hair. She was beautiful. No. She was more than that. There was something about her that made her different, that made her stand out. Maybe it was the spirit within her beautiful, brown, eyes. The spirit that dwells within her that made her shine. Every negative feeling I ever felt was temporarily forgotten when I saw it.

Her smile.

I've seen lighthouses shine it's bright light on the sea. I've seen fireworks on the Fourth of July illustrate the sky in wonderful colors and textures. I've even seen the brilliant moon and stars living in profound contrast with the dark sky of night. But let me tell you, none of those things come close to that smile. Those things are great at providing light, but nothing gives more light than her smile. It illuminates all the darkness within me. She gave me light. In that brief moment, all that darkness I've ever felt from betrayals and heartbreaks was gone. Just by her smile.

And that's how it all started out. With a smile.