My Love

Chapter 3: 1975

Two years. Two years since I first saw her. Two years since everything changed. Our relationship since then has been a series of highs and a series of lows. We've both said and done things that have broke the other's hearts in ways that can't be mended. As I lay in bad right now contemplating everything that my heart has ever wanted. I can't help but think back to two and a half months ago. A smile forms on my lips as I think back to that night.

Two and a half months ago

I wrapped my arms Camila's small frame and pull her in front of me. I rest on her shoulder as she leans her head on mine.

"God, I love this song. Matt Healy's voice brings me into another universe." She said, closing her eyes admiring the music. I swayed our bodies to the beat of the music. I admired how she looked. Eyes closed. Face relaxed. Enjoying the amazing music that filled the atmosphere.

The night went on. We were allowed to go backstage to meet the one and only Matt Healy. She was so nervous. And I did what I always do. Calm her down.

"Matt's gonna love you. He's a super chill guy. Don't get too worried, alright? This is supposed to be our night to get away from everything. This is our night. And it's turning out perfect so far." I said grabbing her hand.

She stares at out hands thoughtfully before looking into my eyes as if she was searching for something. As if she was trying to uncover what my soul most desire, which was, of course, her.

"Lauren, what are we?" She asked.

I groaned. I hate questions like these. I hate labels. Always have. I always hated people calling me gay or bi. I just wanted to love and not go through all the complications that are presented by this societal issue of classifying your love.

"Why do we have to put have to put labels on everything. Why can't we just... Love?" I ask. She looks down at her feet and then looks back up with uncertainty present in her beautiful brown eyes.

"Labels are for soup. Are you soup?" I ask.

"I don't think so." She responded adorably. I grabbed her left hand and brought it to my lips and kissed it softly.

"Then let's forget about it, okay?" I asked, hoping we wouldn't have to deal with this question for a long time. Until we were ready to.

"Okay." She agreed. I was Ally starting to walk towards us.

"Hey guys!" She greeted. Camila and I greeted her back.

"I'm so excited to meet Mike Healy!" Ally said, completely oblivious to how she butchered his name. Camila and I looked at each other and just smiled.

"Yeah. Totally Ally. Lauren, don't you just love Mike Healy, the lead singer of the 1985?" Camila asked. I laughed too hard at the intentional continuation of Ally's mistake. She always makes me laugh too hard.

We met Matt Healy and eventually informed Ally on her mistake.Ally left but Camila and I decided to hang out. Camila and I spent some time together waiting on a bench.

"So did you have fun?" I asked her.

"Oh my gosh, yes. I got to hear one of my favorite bands while being snuggled up to one of my favorite people. It doesn't get any better than that. Unless pizza started falling for the ceiling. So I guess it could've gotten better. But I still had an amazing time." She said with laughter in her voice. I laughed as well. We both were lost in laughter. Once we calmed down, I continued the conversation.

"I'm sorry Ally came. We had to have an adult accompany us and better her than our moms." I said.

I then thought of my mom. She's never been too keen on my feelings towards Camila. Of course I never actually told her I did have those feelings, but anybody with a brain could sense that there was something more than what we let on. If she saw the way I held her, she wouldn't of been happy. Especially since I'm in a relationship with Luis. If you could actually call it a relationship. I'm barely there so it's like I don't exist. And I'm sure he's done something with Mel. I can't get mad at him because I've been having a fling with Camila. And also because I really don't care. As long as I can still say I have a boyfriend, it's alright.

"Yeah. I know Ally isn't the 1975 expert." She said, thinking back to Mike Healy.

"I'll bet you she doesn't even have a 1975 song on her iPod." I responded.

"Fake fan." She said.

I stared into her eyes. Then to her lips. Then back up to her eyes. Her lips looked so perfect. I couldn't believe somebody hasn't kissed her before. There was nothing I wanted to do more in that moment than connect my lips with hers. As each second dragged on, our faces got inches closer. She lightly rubbed my hand to indicate she gives me permission. I connected my lips with hers. Our lips moved in perfect sync. Seconds in the kiss, I felt her smile into the kiss. That automatically made me smile. Then I laughed. We both laughed into the heavenly kiss. It wasn't the type of laugh when you laugh at something funny. It was the type of laugh when you see something amazing or incredible. We were laughing, of celebrating, how good we had it at the moment. For once, we were both able to just let go. And it felt wonderful. She pulled back, disconnecting our lips, a smile still evident on her face.

"Lauren, that was my first kiss." She said, embarrassment covering her face and voice.

"I know. Was it good?" I asked. But I already knew the answer. It was fucking amazing.

"Yeah." She simply said, knowing she'd be at a lost for words. But what was important was her smile. I haven't seen it that big and genuine in a long time. I mentally gave myself a pat on the back.

Camila rested her head on my shoulder and I rested my head on hers once again. Our ride pulled up and I grabbed her hand and guided her to the car. We both knew and dreaded the fact that our moment of euphoria would inevitably soon be discontinued by what we dreaded most. Reality.