My Love

Chapter 7: Picking A Side

Camila and I are cuddling on the couch. Her head rests gently on my shoulder as I casually sling my arm over her shoulder. We're watching TV and then I see a certain brown-haired woman walk through the door.

My mom.

She has a smile on her face for a brief second but it quickly fades away as she notices the position Camila and I are in. She clears her throat. I quickly removed my arm from Camila, confused as hell.

"Hey, mom. What are you doing here? I wasn't supposed to see you until October." I said.

"It was a surprise. I wasn't planning on flying to LA but the opportunity presented itself and I took it cause I wanted to see my daughter." She responded, obviously offended by my lack of affection and love that she expected after flying for 6 hours.

"Sorry mom. It just came as a surprise. A good one though." I got up and gave her a tight hug.

An awkward silence filled the room. I forgot about Camila awkwardly sitting there until I saw my mom shoot her a dirty look. Rage started to burn within me.

"So," she began, sitting down on a chair near us, "do you mind telling me what you two were doing?" She said looking at us. I looked at Camila and she looked so scared. I just wanted to wrap her in my arms and hold her. But I couldn't. My mom was there.

My mom is an amazing woman. I've always admired and loved her. But there were some things about her that really irritated me. I feel like every bad thing I find about myself can be traced back to her. My unintentional rudeness. The way I value my image too highly. My sensitivity. It all stems from her personality. It's like I soaked up all the badness from her like a sponge. And she's never been too keen on homosexuality. It never bothered me too much before I met Camila, but looking at where we are with our relationship, it's easy to see why we would get anxious when my homophobic mother is around. We've never been able to interact like we wanted to when she was watching us.

A year ago

Me, Camila, Ally, my mom, and some other people were walking down the streets of NYC. I was already slightly annoyed that my mom was there. Esepcially since when two of the girls weren't with us, which would make my mom extra surveillent over Camila and I. Camila noticed some paparazzi and sweetly waved at them. I smiled at them and then at Camila. My mom obviously didn't like it.

"Camila, what did I just say? Don't acknowledge the paparazzi!" She said, very annoyed. She then centered her attention on me for a brief moment.

"It's not like I'm by myself." She said logically, trying to get my mom to settle down. I then pretended to check my phone, hoping it'll downplay the awkwardness in any degree. It's never good when your mom is yelling at your almost-girlfriend.

"I don't care who you're with or not!" She scolded. She let out a sigh of frustration. "Just go inside."

It was obvious she wasn't just upset about the whole paparazzi ordeal. She was in a pissy mood that Camila and I were together. Especially since she caught us flirting earlier that day. I sighed. I dread the day I have to choose between Camila and my mom. I know it's going to happen one day and it's not going to be easy.

Present

"Mom, lately Camila and I have been spending a lot of time together. And during that time, I've gotten to realize how happy Camila makes me. So," I paused, struggling to get the words out like I wanted them to, "Camila and I are kinda dating." I confessed.

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room the made the hairs on my neck stand up. The silence was rudely interrupted by my mom's laugh.

"You've got to be kidding me! You and her? Really Lauren? Please tell me you're joking." She said. The rage quickly returned inside me.

"No, mom. I'm not kidding. I love Camila. We're taking it slow right now, but we're in love. And if you don't like it, that's your problem. For once in a long time, I'm genuinely happy with somebody. Doesn't that matter to you?" I said, more confident than I was a few minutes ago.

"I'm so disappointed in you, Lauren. You're cheating on your boyfriend, jeopardizing the group, lying to people, and for what? Some girl who barely even looks at you in public?" She responded with anger in her voice.

I looked at Camila and saw tears running down her face. I ran and sat down beside her and put my arm around her. I looked up at my mom, staring her down.

"I just can't believe this." She said, putting her face in the palm of her hand. "I just can't." She said, walking out the room.

I rubbed my hand up and down Camila's back and whispered sweet, soothing, words in her ear to calm her down. I already pissed my mom off once and that led to Camila crying. If she's ging to chaperone us the whole tour, I'm going to have to be distant from Camila in public. It's what's best for both of them.