A / N Wow... it's been a while. I'm gonna get back on the grind. Cause I have a lot of free time. And if it's not free, I'm at work.
I'm feeling a little angsty, hbu?
{What We Lost} Natsu x Reader
Who had you become? Layered in the lies you spun, you tried to hide with those you loved. Cuddled safely into their warm embrace, only sheltered for a short while from the horror you would soon face. How could you have lied? Was it easy for you? You sat with them, acted as their friend, loved them like everybody else. And you were a fool to fall in love. In this type of world, someone like you didn't deserve that. You already made the mistake so long ago, so now that it was finally catching up to you, you only now felt remorse?
A monster, the nightmare that dragged fear into distant lands. They knew of you. Knew of your power, your bloodlust. But they never knew your face. Nobody who crossed your path was ever lucky enough to see it and live. They only heard the whispers of a name. A name that was turned into cries and soon screams. It was the name that made elders stomach churn as they thought about the past. They couldn't hold their stomach as flashbacks of a massacre, the death and destruction you left in your wake. Dead sons, mothers, brothers, fathers, and daughters, never returning to whatever they had left.
So how did that monster fall within a loving embrace? Simple really. You faked your identity. You told them that you were new, and faked your happiness and charm. You got close to them, watching as they grew and as you did not. They didn't think it odd. No matter how youthful you stayed, they still considered you their family. What a pitiful family. Always rejoicing over friendship and fighting for the sake of others. It brought bile to your throat. How could they be so happy? How could anyone brush off a death and still be happy? It made you sick to think about.
But you smiled, you cheered, and you talked gleefully about this friendship. You gave them the show they wanted. You became the person they loved. You became a person he loved. He never went anywhere without you, bringing you everywhere he went. You were his own traveling companion, never annoyed, never upset. And the love that coated your tongue as you talked to him was unsettling. Until... the feeling of sweet flavored words tasted like the truth.
It seemed impossible, falling in love. You never considered the concept, not since your past lover died. Not since you killed him. Love was only a figment of imagination, created by those who feel lonely. So why? Why did you suddenly understand the careful songs about a lover? Why could you see couples, and see yourself among them? Was he domesticating you? It's vile to think about. A man so keen on friendship made you tame. What happened to the wild beast that left a battlefield of blood? Surely she wasn't gone. No, you could still feel the bloodlust within your spirit. You weren't completely gone yet.
Though, the bloodlust started to fade away at the feeling of his cherry flavored kisses. You couldn't smell the metallic air that you used to, only pine and bubblegum. Your taste was no longer lies, but truths. And this small blissful euphoria of being normal, of loving someone so normally, was what seemed like your savior. This cherry and bubblegum flavored love was what dragged you further away from the battlefield filled with the dead. You no longer stood among corpses, but friends with hopes and aspirations. It felt all so sickeningly normal and sweet.
Weak. Weak. Weak!
Pity towards the poor soul who lost her resolve, crumbling under the weight of friendship and love. How disgusting. You couldn't feel the dried blood underneath your nails anymore, only the soft tresses of pink hair. It made you anxious. You weren't used to being happy. The emotion wasn't something you were accustomed to. Until the day came when war finally came about. Until the day that Alvarez made its appearance. You felt odd. Like you were finally home.
A murmur erupted within the crowd, the battlefield suddenly quiet at the appearance of the woman with war in her eyes. You let out a sigh of relief, finally feeling at peace with yourself. Now this... this is your element. Zeref took a few steps forward from enemy lines, holding out a hand to the woman on the other side. He knew just who she was. He knew exactly her intentions.
Your outfit shimmered into a new one, a more comfortable one. One of complete red, a dress made for you. You never felt comfortable in those loose clothes anyway. But this... God, if only they knew just how amazing you felt.
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Gasps arose on the battlefield, men almost completely enamored by the woman in red. Your dress dragged behind you as your heels forced your hips into a strut. You crossed the battlefield, standing at the side of the enemy. Well, at least, not your enemy. Zeref places his hand on your waist, smiling cruelly down at you. It was wonderful to have you back at his side.
It was then that the elders of Magnolia realized just who you are. And their breaths were sapped from them. How could they have let you live within their midst? An atrocity became a friend, a lover, a family member.
"The Empress of Blood," an elder stumbles, gasping on his breath. He watched as flashes of war crossed through his eyes. Consumed by the blood and the pure hatred, he cried out, "Murderer!"
You laughed, stepping out and clapping your hands mockingly, "Congratulations. You've finally realized!"
"How could you?" Levy questioned brokenly, words cracking under shock. Gajeel quickly steadied Levy, since her body swayed in disbelief.
Although you finally felt peaceful and comfortable, an odd throbbing pulled at your heart. Your eyes narrowed at the odd feeling. You lifted your gaze to fall on warm brown ones. You could see the anger in his eyes, the regret, the pain, hurt, passion. Oh, you had broken him to pieces.
Giving them a sly smile, you flicked your thumb across the sharp edge of your nail. It created a small cut, blood seeping out. From the blood, you created a needle. Tilting your head to look back at the members of Fairy Tail, you gave them a cunning grin before flicking your hand. One body dropped, a soldier, completely dead with a hole straight through his forehead. Then two soldiers, then four. The needles multiplied and soon all of the soldiers that Magnolia had with them, laid dead. The guild members stared with horror. Now it was just them against an army.
You huffed with laughter, "It's so good to be back."
The spill of blood on the battlefield. The taste of metal over cherry. This moment of pure chaos, of deceit, and treachery. This first sign of war... is always the sweetest reward. Nothing could ever compare to the blissful moment of shock before death. You couldn't help loving the battlefield over him. It was and always will be your home. Ever since your first lovers death, and the second's, and the third's, and the fourth's... and soon the fifth's.
The reveal of treachery will always be sweeter than any cherry and cotton candy kiss.
