Memories II

|10| • We're Okay •

Brian's birthday party had turned from the disastrous beginning to a pretty fun end. I knew I had to work in the morning, but that didn't stop me from having a fun time. I made it through the evening drinking relatively little alcohol, which was good, and it also meant that I was able to remember pretty much everything. It had been wild... actually wild was a mild expression for what had gone down.

Something told me Brian wouldn't be doing very much that day, he was going to be very hungover. But he'd had fun and that was what mattered, it had been a birthday to remember. And that was wonderful because that was exactly what I had wanted for him. A perfect last birthday before he turned 30..

Work that day was dreadful, it was a boring Tuesday, there was nothing fun about it at all. I couldn't wait to get back to Brian's house once my shift was finished. I didn't know what we would do but I was certain we'd come up with something fun to do. Or maybe we'd still have to clean his house. When I left this morning it was still a huge mess, it was inexplicable how relatively few people could cause something like that. And if Brian really was as hung over as I feared he was, then he wasn't going to do very much, not that I blamed him. I would have preferred a lazy day too, especially because on Friday morning Brian and the guys were going to leave for a studio somewhere in Oxfordshire to record, which meant we'd be seeing each other only during the weekends, when I was off and he wasn't recording. I was not looking forward to that, but I didn't have a choice.

Eventually this dreadful work day did come to an end and after I helped to close up I was on my way, on the hour-long drive out to Brian's house again. As beautiful as it was, it was unpractical for a life in the city. But I couldn't really complain, after all Brian had been staying at my place for most nights since we got home, now I could return the favour. One day we would have to properly work out this living situation. For now, however, I tried to push that out of my mind and hummed along to the music that was playing over my car's radio. I was curious what state Brian would be in when I got there.

I parked my car in front of his house, genuinely looking forward to seeing Brian again after a long day. And I was looking forward to some rest because I was tired. So tired. I got out the key to his house and let myself in, trying to be quiet. After all, he could still be sleeping. You never knew with this man.

But it seemed like he wasn't asleep anymore, or at least he had been awake at some point during the day, because the mess I had left behind in the morning wasn't as bad anymore so he had to have cleaned a little.

"Bri?" I called out quietly. "You awake?" I could hear something from the kitchen, so after I took off my shoes and jacket that was where I went. I didn't want to startle him too much, so I gently knocked on the door before I talked again. "Hey you."

He was standing in front of the sink, washing some dishes, most likely still from the night before. When he heard me knocking, he turned around and looked at me with a smile before he glanced at the clock. "Hey... I didn't realise it's already this late."

"Yes, it is. When did you get up?" I asked amused and walked over to him.

He wiped his hands dry before he leaned down and kissed my cheek. "I think it was past three," he admitted. "I stayed in bed quite a while because I had a pretty bad headache."

"Are you feeling better?" I asked him, placing my hands on his arms.

"Yeah, lots of water and a painkiller helped, don't worry. It's my own fault.." He smiled at me and hugged me. "How were you feeling this morning?"

"Exhausted, but fine. It helped that I held back on the alcohol last night, but ... I'm glad I'm home now because it was a very long day. A very long day with lots of annoying customers of course."

"I'm sorry... but you're here now, now you can relax. We don't have to cook, there are plenty of leftovers from yesterday," he pointed out, pulling away a little.

"That sounds good. But I'll help you tidy the kitchen because it would be silly to leave that unfinished. C'mon," I told him and grabbed a dish towel so I could dry what he had washed already.

He protested only a little, so we got to work on that before we sat down in his living room with plates full of leftovers.

"So...," Brian sighed, glancing at me with a smile. "I talked to the guys and we're leaving some time around noon on Thursday."

"Okay, that's fine.. That's when I have to work, so I can sleep here again tomorrow if that's okay."

"Of course that's okay, don't be silly," Brian said with a smile. "I would love that. And on Friday, when do you get off?"

"At seven, so I could be there around eight, eight thirty, depending on the traffic. I can call you when I leave, if you want, but I don't know if you'll be able to answer the phone around seven."

"I don't know either," Brian said. "Maybe just come, that should be fine. I'll let the studio owners know that you're coming so there shouldn't be any problems."

"That's good. We'll work it out somehow, I'm sure." We sat in silence for a few moments, before I spoke up again. "Bri, can I ask you something?" It had been on my mind during the day, so I simply had to make sure.

"Of course. Everything okay?" He asked, sitting up a little straighter.

"That's what I wanted to ask.. It's just about everything that happened yesterday, with Roger and the newspaper and everything. Is that really ... I mean... are we really okay? I don't want you to just say we're okay to avoid a confrontation while you're still upset on the inside," I told him, struggling to phrase my thoughts in a more or less neutral way.

"Well... I'm not okay with what happened. But I know that's not your fault, and I know you didn't do anything with Roger, so ... we're okay. You have to learn how to deal with the press and I have to learn how to deal with you being in the press and lies being spread about you, us...," he said, keeping his eyes on his plate as he spoke thoughtfully. "We can do that together, I'm sure."

"I would appreciate your help with that, because you know how to handle the press - or at least you have more experience," I told him. "But.. it was good that I told you. Right?"

"Yes, definitely. Definitely. I'm sorry if you thought I don't want that, I do. If you find out about something like that, then tell me. I promise I'll react more reasonably in the future. I don't really know why I reacted like that if I'm honest, it was just something about the thought of Roger and you..." He shook his head a little and took a deep breath. "You're you, you're my Henrie, and... Rog is my best friend, yes, but I don't want you to be with him. I don't want you to be with anyone else, but... Rog... you have some sort of history and even though I know you said I have nothing to worry about, it still freaked me out. I was woried you changed your mind, Henrie, I worry about that... I don't want to wake up one day and find out you found someone better," he admitted quietly.

I looked at him, honestly surprised to hear that.

"And I know, I know we talked about that in Tenerife, but it's not that simple. I'll work on it though, I promise."

I placed my hand on his knee, gently rubbing it with my thumb. "You really don't have to worry, Brian. I wouldn't tell you that I love you so soon if I didn't really mean it," I told him. "I know you have the history with your ex who told you she loves you and then still left... but that's not me," I reminded him again. "You're stuck with me."

"I know," he said with a small smile. "I do know that. I think that just... I didn't have time to really think yesterday. I just snapped. I'm sorry, Henrie, I'm really sorry. But I promise we're okay."

"Good... I'm glad to hear that, Bri. I don't want things like this to stand between us," I told him.

"They don't," he said firmly. "I love you, Henrie."

"I love you too, Brian," I told him, unable to keep myself from smiling.