Sutter

31 - let me in

Ellie

I feel so left out in Harry's life and I can't do anything about it. I laid in my bed and I heard my phone vibrate from the nightstand and I knew it was harry. But I didn't want to answer, I didn't want to talk to him. I let him in and he wouldn't do the same. And I wondered who the hell is Molly, if he couldn't even tell me that then I didn't know what to do. He's been amazing the last few weeks or for a long time and I just kept thinking about how he was in the start. And we hadn't have a fight for so long. Harry was leaving tomorrow night I didn't like that he left but right now it felt like it didn't matter. I stood from my bed and took my duvet with me to the couch and put on the tv. I was wearing one of Harry's hoodies he left here. I liked it cause it smelled like him.  I felt myself drifting of to sleep while how I met your mother was playing on the tv.
I woke up from a loud banging at my door and I sat up very confused about the time. I saw that how I met your mother was still on which meant I hadn't been sleeping for that long. I already knew that it was Harry at the door I recognized his the sound of his hand slamming at my door. I stood up and walked to the door and opened it. I saw Harry stand there with a big suitcase.

"What are you doing here Harry?" I asked and his face didn't show any feeling.

"I... I didn't want you too leave, can I come in?" He said and looked down at his feet.

"Yes" I said and steeped to the side.

"I know why you are mad" I sighed and sat down in the couch and pulled up the duvet to my chin.

"You do?" I asked and he sat down at the other end of the couch.

"Yes we've had the same fight like twenty times" he said and he sounded annoyed.

"Okay" I said and he huffed, he looked over at me and I sighed.

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Yes harry, cause you already know what I think and it doesn't matter how many times I tell you cause it never changes. And we never talk as soon as you have been talking to someone in your family you get all weird and angry. And it always like that when you get annoyed or mad you don't talk you don't tell me, that's the reason this will never work" I yelled and he looked at me and for the first time I saw regret and sadness in his eyes. I wiped away the tears that were running down my cheeks and then looked at Harry.

"Don't say that, you can't just blame everything on me. I have told you a million times I will let you in, but it's going to take time. I'm sorry for that" I wiped the tears and he looked over at me and I looked down on my hands on my lap.

"I get it Harry, but I just want you to tell me about them... stop leaving me on the outside and if you want this to work when we aren't forced to be together you need to start trying" he looked over at me and then he crawled over to me and wiped my tears.

"I know but it's hard, I've never cared for someone before not like this. But I do care about you, I really do. I just have a hard time to show it" I put my hand on his cheek and then pushed away his hair with my other.

"I know you do, but you have to start talk to me harry.. let me in" he nodded and leaned in to kiss my lips and then he looked at me then stroked my cheek with his thumb.

"I got a nephew today" he said and looked up at me. I smiled and nodded.

"You did?" He nodded and then took out his phone from his pocket and showed me a picture of him and under the photo it said "welcome to the world Elliot".

"He looks amazing" I said and Harry nodded.

"Yes he does" harry said and then he sighed and locked his phone and put it on the coffee table.

"And Ellie, Molly is my godchild" I turned to him and raised my brows.

"What?" I asked and he chuckled a bit and I was very confused. So Molly is a child, who Harry cares about. And that harry has someone to that trusts him with all his heart and would let him take care of a child if something happened to that child's parents.

"Yes, I have two of them actually a boy named Eric and he is four and then it's his twin sister Molly" I smiled and then he reached for his phone again and he showed me pictures of them. And they looked so cute.

"Who's kids is that?" I asked and he put away his phone again and then explained.

"It's one of my childhood friends. His mum and my mother have been close friends since forever. He is much older but when we got older we started to hang out more and more and he's been my best friend since as long as I can remember and yeah. That's why I'm The Godfather of his children" he explained and I looked down at him and crawled down so my head was beside his and then I kissed his lips.

"Do you see them a lot" I asked and Harry shook his head.

"I send them gifts on their birthday and talk to them on FaceTime when I have time and see them a few times a year" he answered

"That's very sweet, you are very sweet" he looked at me and rolled his eyes.

"I'm not sweet" he said and I chuckled and nodded.

"Yes you are" I said and he rolled his eyes and then stood up.

"Where you going?"

"I'm very tired, are we sleeping on the couch or in the bed?" He asked and I sighed and stood up with the duvet wrapped around me. I walked behind him to the bedroom after I turned of the tv. I laid down in the bed and watched Harry undress before he laid down in the bed beside me.

"How long will it be until I see you again?" I asked and he turned his head to look at me.

"I think like a month before Mary would fly you to where we are" I nodded and then spun around so I was on top of harry. I sat up and he put his hands on the sides of my thighs.

"You know I don't like leaving you here" he said and I took his hands in mine and intertwined our fingers.

"Why?" I asked and he sighed and then looked up to the roof.

"I... I can't sleep without you, it sounds silly but I can't. I've always had those nightmares but when I'm with you they go away" he said and I sighed and smiled. I leaned in and kissed him. And then laid down next to him again. We laid there in silent for a while and then I turned to my side.

"Thank you" I said and he looked confused and then asked.

"For?"

"For trying, thank you for opening up to me" I said and he turned and put his arms around me and kissed my forehead.