Wishing I was 23

The Happiness

Lauren's POV

I clicked on the Video and played it.

"Hi, I'm back. Its been three months since Lauren kissed me on my birthday. Its been three months since I've been dating Beatrice. I found out that Lauren is in a bad situation. Dinah kept on updating me about Lauren because she wanted me to know how Lauren was doing but I couldn't take it anymore. She kept on saying that Lauren would drink her pain away, sneaking vodka and achohol in her room. She even kicked Camila out because Lauren said that she was scared that she would do something she would regret. On my side, I don't feel happy. I know I'm dating Beatrice but it took me the third date to realise that I didn't love her as more than a friend. I love her as my sister or a friend but I never wanted to pull a trigger. She has been helping me be happy lately but I faked some so that she won't feel bad but I think that didn't work. I feel really, really guilty for hurting Lauren and Beatrice too because she knows that I do not love her more than that. How did I know? It's easy to read off your best friends mind if you knew her since childhood. I wanna break things off but I'm really scared to hurt her and we would be in an awkward situation like three moths ago. The problem still stands, Lauren. I could not get her out off my head somehow. I hurt her a lot. I know I'm repeating stuff but I'm just freaking out about all this. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry if this vid is short but I'm sure I'll do something tomorrow", she sighed and closes her camera.

"Wow, she knew all along", Ally said and everyone turned to her. "What? It's just that when Beatrice and Rachel were dating, Beatrice would come to me and tell me that she was disturbed by something or someone. Beatrice concluded that it was you, Laur and that is true. She was right all along", Ally said and it shook me a little.

"I mean, they do have a very close relationship with one another like Dinah and Normani last time. They knew each other for so long that they know how one would react to a certain situation. Not to mention that Rachel knew Beatrice longer than Ally does which means that they could read off one another", Faith speaks out.

"Whatever, let's just get through this Clips. I just wanna know why she made all this and not tell us", I got frustrated and everyone kept quiet.

I clicked to the next video and it was her smiling so big.

"Hi, I can't tell you how happy I am of what happened today. Let's start at early in the morning. It was about 9 am when I woke up. I woke up to an empty without Beatrice beside me. There was a note. I read it and I admit that I've cried over it because she never told me that she's been contacting my actual brother and not telling me that she was trying to find her family but other than that, I'm just happy that she understands. I took the note, pack everything up, went downstairs and ate breakfast with mom and dad. While doing that, I told them I want to move in with Ryland and they asked why. I gave them the note Beatrice had wrote and they understood well. Mom said that she'll transfer us to Maimi High School there. I'm actually going to fix this whole thing up. I called the twins and Faith and told them to pack up too because they're going with me to Maimi. They didn't questioned me but demanded an explanation. Fast forward after explaining and now, we're in the car and on the flight to Maimi. I told Ryland and Sarah told Dinah about the plan to get Lauren back to normal and she was in. I was glad. I took a bit of rest and when the plane landed, Sarah woke me up and we got down. Ryland picked us up and I gave him Beatrice's letter to show him why we transferred here. It was for the better and I felt more like home ", she stops.

"I'm sorry for doing that, Lauren. I know you're watching because I believe that you are the love of my life and I'm going to fix that soon. Back to the story, after Ryland puts all my stuff at his house, I quickly grabbed my guitar and raced to her house with my skateboard and I know she was at home because Sarah said that Dinah texted her that the girls were there to comfort Lauren and that she wouldn't let Camila in to help her because she'll even get more heartbroken. I met with Taylor and Chris in the backyard and said Hi before I climbed to her balcony with a guitar behind me. I hear her shouting and Dinah was glaring at me because she knew I was the cause of Lauren being that drunk. When they all settled down and Ally pointed to me outside. She turned and I swear my heart shattered seeing her once green galaxy golden eyes turn red and grey and her cheeks were puffed up from crying. I hurt the most amazing human being I could ever met. I hurt a beautiful creature. A unicorn for gods sake. I can never forgive myself for this. I took a deep breath as she opens her balcony doors and the hint of achohol hits my nose but ai ignored it and started singing. I sang my heart out for her to smile. I sang Wishing I was 23 which was the first song I've ever written about her. When the last verse came in and it was slow, I took her hands and settled her down to the table outside her balcony. I continued singing and I hear her giggles over my lyrics which made me even more confident and smile wider. I loved this moment so much because I cured my mistakes and I get to see her eyes change colours from grey and red to the green eyes that sparkles gold just like I saw her before. After the song, I gave a long speech of my regrets and how sorry I am, all she did was smile and kissed me suddenly. I kissed back this time, I missed her lips and although they tasted like achohol, there's still sparks in them. Dinah yelled our ship name from the back and Lauren's parents came up to give me a bone crushing hug which hurt because of my scar but Lauren broke us apart", she smiles lightly.

"All my life, I thought I had no use in life and that I was living in a loop but all that was missing was you in my life, Lauren Jauregui. I know I'm just 15 but I love you so much and when you see this video, know that my life so much better now with you. After the thank you and happy screams and celebrations, I was alone with Lauren doing the dishes. The radio was playing and If I can't be with you came up. That's the song that Riker agreed to me because we both were in a troubling situation. I sang first when it starts and Lauren giggled. I swear it was the most beautiful thing you could ever hear other than her raspy voice that makes everyone fall in love with her. I danced around and she joined me while giggling through my actions. When the song ended, I bend down in my knee. I know it's actually very early but I know she loves me and I love her already. I took out my mother's ring and asked her to be my girlfriend. I didn't know that everyone was at the staircase there watching us. I heard Ryland said to Lauren about thr ring and how she should accept it. She said yes and I gladly put it on, got up and kissed her passionately. We pulled apart and I asked her if she wanted to go out on a date with me. She agrees happily and It was just a great moment for me and her because she was smiling non stop and it was a sight that I live so much. After that particular moment that I love so much, Ryland and I had to go home. I thanked everyone for dinner and left the room but a hand stopped me when I was out the door. I turned to see her bright green eyes with sparks of gold. She smiles like a kid and said that she wanted to come along and Mike agrees so why not?

When we reached home, I changed into my gym clothes and gave Lauren one of my long sleeved clothes. I told her to rest while I go and work out in the gym upstairs. She refused and I couldn't convince her so, she followed me. She was eyeing me throughout my workout and I felt a little uncomfortable. After the workout I took a shower. When I came out, she was reading one of my books. She looked up and smiled. The rest of the night, we cuddled, watched her favourite shows and ate dinner. She wouldn't stop stealing kisses and I didn't mind at all. All I'm saying is that today was awesome. As you can see in the background, my princess sleeping peacefully", she moved aside to see me lying and sleeping on her bed with her shirt on.

I was smiling because I remember that day. "You made her so happy, Laur", Riker stepped in. "I didn't know that", I said in all honesty.

"Well, now you know but still, after you're date, she came home smiling. It was the first time I've ever seen her eyes sparked. You are her happiness", Ryland said.

"Without her, I will not be happy too. Without her, all of us wouldn't be happy", I concluded.

I stood up from the computer and moved to the side of her hospital bed. "Please, wake up for me", I whispered to her and kissed her head.

"I think that's enough for today. We can watch the rest tomorrow. Everyone needs rest", Riker said and I closed the laptop.

Rachel's family left while her friends stayed. "You guys should go too. I'll be here", I told them and they nodd. Everyone left except for Sarah, Soda and Alessia.

"I'm not going anywhere. That's my best friend lying down there", Sarah said sternly. "If she's staying, I'm staying", Alessia added.

"She saved me from so many troubles. She's my baby sister and I'm not leaving her. Lucas and Faith has school in the morning and that's why they had to leave. I don't give a shit about school. Without Rachel, I'm an outsider", Soda said and I understood all of it.

"Okay, you three can stay but there's only two extra beds", I pointed out. "I'm sleeping on the couch", Soda sat in the other side.

"We'll sleep on the other folded bed", Sarah says and Alessia smiles at me. "Have a goodnight sleep, Laur. You're gonna need it", Soda says and I simply smiled to him and nod.

Soon everyone fell asleep but I couldn't and so, I just sat next to Rachel and fidgeting with her hand and kissing it once in a while.

I kept on looking at all her scars and it was hard not to look at because I felt guilty for not being there with her at all. We promised each other to stay together and take care of one another.
I broke that.

I couldn't sleep at all so, I took my computer and put in back the thumb drive that belonged to Rachel. I watched the next video of her looking so happy with a huge smile. It had the titled First Date.