Cinematic Universes United

Chapter 14

Newt POV

I wake up to Jakie fidgeting in her sleep. She keeps squirming, and I don't know how to help her, so I just gently shake her awake, but that just gets me a punch in the face, square in my jaw.

"Bloody hell, JC!" I grunt rubbing my jaw, god that girl could throw a punch.

"Sorry." She mumbles, opening her eyes a little bit.

"It's okay," I sigh, "What happened?" My eyes full of concern.

"Bad dream." She answers simply, and sits up, cradling her knees to her chest.

I wrap my arms around her protectively, "Nothing will ever bloody hurt you as long as I'm here." I imply, and her body just starts shaking with sobs.

"It's okay," I say, rubbing her back with one arm, and wiping away her tears with the other.

"But it's my fault!" She sobs.

"No, it's not," I demand, and release her to get ahold of her shoulders so she'll look at my eyes.

"If anything, it's my bloody fault because we were talking, and I was being a shucking jerk to you," I explain, a silent tear falling from my eye. I quickly lift my hand and wipe the tear away.

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes not convinced. Emily walks into the room, looking sleepy but in need of talk.

"Can I come in?" She asks, and I nod. I move Jakie and me over in the bed so she has some room, but she stays right on the edge.

"What're you doing up?" I ask, giving Jakie a hug.

"Couldn't sleep." She answers simply and leans her head onto Jakie's shoulder, and a tear glistens from her eye. "What're you guys doing up?" She asks.

"JJ had a bad dream," I answer quietly, as Emily gives her a sympathetic look.

"What happened?" Emily asks, ignoring the real reason why she was here.

Emily looks more broken as each day passes, she's here to talk to Jakie, however, being her best friend, she knows something's up with Jakie, just as I do.

"That's not why your here, Em." Jakie presses.

"You two need to talk alone?" I ask, respecting their privacy.

"No. It's fine, you guys get some sleep, I just needed to walk around, ya' know?" Emily says, ignoring the fact that she too needs help, just as Jakie does. Emily gets off of the bed and walks out the door leaving us be. 

I look over at Jakie to meet your broken eyes full of tears threatening to spill out.

"JJ-" I start but am cut off.

"I'm fine." She sobs as the warm liquid runs down her face.

"No, you're not," I argue.

"J-... Just leave me alone!" She says and jumps off the bed and head into the bathroom. I run after her, but she slams the door shut and locks it so I can't get in.

"Jakie!" I yell back resting my fists on the door. "Jakie, let me in."

"Go away!" She answers, with fear in her voice, as a sob escapes her lips.

"Just let me in." I plead, when I don't hear a response I start to get worried. "JJ."

I hear small whimpers and grow more concerned and worried by the second.

"Jakie!" I yell banging on the door, I only hear more whimpers mixed with sobs, "Jakie!" I hear her body fall to the ground as she starts crying hysterically mumbling something over and over again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you Newt, I love you." I finally make out their whispers.

"Jakie? It's okay, Love. I get that you want to blame this one your self, but it isn't your fault. " I state.

"I tried, I really did. I'm sorry. I can't keep my promises, it's too hard to bear. It's my fault, I deserve to run away and live somewhere else." she rambles, my eyes widen in fear that she is planning to run away and go to any measure to make sure we never see here again. I continue banging on the door practically screaming their name.

"Jakie Rae! You open this door right now!" I order. No answer. "Jakie!" I sob, now scared to death remembering the secret back door that remains in the bathroom closet. She could already be gone, have run out of this house and be as far away from here as possible. 

"Jakie, please," I beg, sliding down the side of the door. She doesn't respond, there is only silence. She is gone. She ran out and I'll never see her again. Tears fall down my face and I weakly stand up.  

Suddenly the door opens and she walks out puffy eyed and her face a little red. She runs into my arms. My eyes widen shocked and confused, but glad she didn't disappear, as I hold her in the tight hug.  

 After a long needed silent embrace, Jakie slides back onto the left side of the bed and crawls up into a ball and stare off into space. I come up from behind them and wrap my arms around her waist, and she relaxes into the cuddle so that our bodies are touching.

"You know I love you, right?" I ask my beautiful girlfriend and kisses her neck.

She nods in response. "How can you love someone as messed up like me?" she asks, and a tear falls down her face.

Jakie POV

I roll over to face Newt as he starts playing with a loose strand of my hair. "You're definitely not as messed up as you think you are, and believe me... we make a great couple." He chuckles. "We both wanna run away but know how much our friends and family need us to stay." He smiles and kisses me on the lips. I can't help but think, But do they really need us? Or me anyway. He breaks the kiss noticing something is wrong, knowing I didn't buy that little speech. He sighs, as the happiness vanishes from his face.

"JJ, please talk to me." He pushes, all I do is stare at him not knowing what to say. 

"Why'd you do it? What drove you to run away the first time?" He asks cautiously, and I scoff.

"Hmm, let me think. Maybe it was because I got my best friends baby killed! Maybe that's the FUCKING REASON, NEWT!" I yell in his face, ripping my hands away from him, out of his grasp.

"Jakie..." He tries to reason, but I cut him off.

"No, Newt! You would never understand! You never possibly could! You don't want to become a ghost in your skin. Have nobody recognize you or even acknowledge you cause if they do it only brings chaos!" I yell once again, pushing him away from me, and walking across the room.

"You always think that nobody understands what you're going through, and maybe I don't fully understand, but I do understand this much." He harshly says in a quiet voice, I give him a confused look. Newt walks over to me, as I am now standing in front of the dresser, across from the bed, next to the bathroom door. He lifts up his shirt to show the new, large scar from when Dean cut him. He must have taken off the bandage.

Cuts and scars mark his soft skin around the larger cut, some for fainter than others. I gently drag my fingers across his scars and bruises. He winces when I trace some of them, but lets me see, nonetheless. Even though the gash Dean cut on Newt's stomach was bad, I knew something was off about it, now I know why, Newt's other cuts reopened and made it worse, no wonder Minho was the one who bandaged him and acted so defensive, he didn't want anyone to know about Newt's self-harm.

"I do understand feeling like you don't belong." He breathes, pulling his shirt down.

"What... Why... No..." I stutter, and stifle a sob, "Newt..."

"I know... I know." He answers glumly.

I shake my head violently, trying to rid myself of the thoughts that my Newt would do that to himself. He gently grabs my forearms, and leads me, still sobbing, back to the bed where he sets me on his lap. I just curl up into his warm touch and start to openly cry.

"I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry." I sob into his chest.

"It's okay. Shhh... it's okay." He tries but fails to reassure me.

"No... It's not." I complain. "It never is..."