Cinematic Universes United

Chapter 19

Newt POV

I couldn't quite comprehend what had happened. The doctors said it was a miracle I could remember anything from the last day at all. However, I remember every single living moment of what happened. Jakie had already gone downstairs, but not before baby proofing our bedroom including the bathroom.

 I stare at the ceiling again, left with my thoughts and everyone knows what appears when that happens, but instead of the hurtful words that haunt me forever to soon drive me to kill myself, it is replaced by the worry that I would have to face everyone. I don't doubt that by now they probably know the truth of what happened; I just hope they don't give me too much pity. I throw my legs over the bed and take a deep breath before jumping off and heading out the door. I suddenly stop halfway through the door looking at the full-length mirror across the hall. I still have bandages around my wrist, however, there is no bandage on my head, they were able to fix up my concussion pretty well it was just my wrist that wouldn't stop bleeding. Frankly, I was glad I still had something around my wrists so that the others wouldn't have to look at what I did to myself. I continue downstairs after my examination of myself and everything comes crashing down.

Everyone in the house stops whatever conversation they're having and just stares at me stopping me in my tracks. I get slightly annoyed, sigh, and continue my way into the kitchen. They still don't say a thing as I go into the fridge to grab some cereal and milk. I put my bowl on the table and start eating in the uncomfortable silence. I look up at them with a "Really?" kind of look on my face.

"Is there something on my face?" I snap. They all look away and resume with what they were doing before I disrupted everything. Jakie comes over to me and wraps her arms around my waist, kissing my neck. I smile and take a sip of my glass of water. I rest my wrists on the table, but then suddenly hiss in pain as they are still sore. Jakie lets go of my waist and look at me worriedly, but then understands the problem. Attempt 1 fail. 

 I walk over to the sink putting all of my dirty dishes there to be cleaned. I needed to retreat back to a safe environment away from everyone else in the world. I walk back to my room and Jakie follows close behind. Once there, I find my favorite book, The Maze Runner The Death Cure, and open it to the beginning. I plug in some earbuds and Jakie takes one of them so she can listen too.

"Hey!" I whine and she chuckles choosing some music to listen to.

"What do you want to listen to?" She asks giving up on her search of her iPod.

"Maybe something from your playlist," I suggest.

"Sure," She agrees and plays it. "Will you read to me?" She asks since I'm always reading in my head so she doesn't know what's going on.

"Okay," I reply and start reading out loud.

Two Hours Later

We finish reading for a while and just cuddle on the bed. Jakie holds me for dear life making sure I never leave her again. I feel bad that I hurt her like this, but she of all people should understand wanting to disappear even through running away and killing yourself are completely different things they still have the same will to disappear. Before we know it, it's about 1 o'clock in the afternoon and we haven't had lunch yet. My stomach grumbles signaling I am hungry. Jakie chuckles and leads me downstairs. Attempt 2. Try to ignore how they look at you.

"What do you shanks want for lunch?" Thomas yells once we sit down at the table, directing it towards Jakie and me.

Brenda glares at Thomas as if he did something wrong when he said the word 'shank'. I internally roll my eyes at her. She was making precautions so that I wasn't offended, but all it is is an immature reason to be nice to me. Don't they get it? I don't want them to treat me differently!