Cinematic Universes United

Chapter 17

Jakie POV

Once we got back to the warm fire I was drawn to it like a bee is to a flower. Emily sits on my left putting her hands out to the fire to warm herself. After a couple minutes Newt comes out of the boys' tent and sits on the other side of me.

"Hey." He says wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

I lean my head on his shoulder. "Hey," I respond.

"How was your swim?" He asks and I look at him with a look of utter confusion at how he could know. "I can tell that your hair is wet." He answers with a smirk.

"It was amazing. I wish we could do stuff like this every weekend." I suggest and see Emily nod in agreement out of my peripheral vision.

"Then let's do it," Newt replies and leans his head on my head.

We look into the fire and after a couple minutes I look up due to the crunching of leaves and twigs under someone's heavy footfalls. Dean sits on the edge of the log and Emily scoots closer to him resting her head on his shoulder.

Soon nightfall comes and everyone gets tired. We head into our separated tents; a sad look on my face. The boys and girls were separated and in other words, I'm not going to sleep a wink.

"Night, JC," Newt says pecking my lips. I mumble a goodnight and he turns away, but before he can even take two steps I grab his wrist and slam my lips onto his. He deepens the kiss understanding my longing for him. He gives me a sad smile before embracing me into a warm hug. "If you have that much trouble sleeping you can wake me up." I nod in response this time letting him walk off. He disappears into his tent as the long night begins. I sigh in defeat and walk into my tent as well bidding good night to all the girls.

2 hours later

Newt POV

I guess I am the one who wasn't going to be able to sleep. The boys already fell asleep leaving me with my thoughts and that was a very bad idea. At night everything intensifies and all the bad thoughts that run through my head become more real and demanding. I noticed that Jakie purposely didn't pack any sharp objects in my toiletry bag. I may sound terrible for saying this but... I knew she would do something like that and I came... Well, let's just say prepared?

I slowly get up not wanting to wake anyone else and rummage through my bag. I find the sweatshirt I wore when we drove up here and reaching its inside pocket. I then pull out the small razor blade that has a cap on it covering the sharp part. Pathetic right?

So many thoughts run through my head as I step out of our tent. The cold wind whisking across my skin. Luckily I put my sweatshirt on; I put my hands in the pockets still holding the damaging object. I know people might think I'm crazy, but I just can't help myself. Even when I'm not feeling down I still have the urge to drag the blade down my soft skin. I make my way to the lake Jakie and Emily just previously swam at and stare at the flowing river that almost appeared to be glowing.

Beautiful isn't it? I hear the voices in my mind say. The exact opposite of you! You're ugly. JC deserves better than you. She never told you she wanted to be your girlfriend it just kind of happened when YOU kissed HER. She doesn't love you! She just doesn't want to break your sad and lonely heart!

And they go on and on, telling me that I deserve this and calling me a coward and telling me that I'm weak. That cutting is pathetic and I'm only doing it to draw attention to myself and make Jakie pity me.

Tears start to roll down my face as I take out the blade. I rip off the cap and shove it into my pocket. A sob escapes my mouth and I clasp my hand around my mouth to make sure I don't make any more sounds risking being found or waking up the others. I take the blade to my wrist cutting as hard and as deep as my thoughts require. Usually, they go away after I cut and that's when I usually stop but this time they kept going. My wrist feels so numb as blood runs down my arm that I fall to my knees. I switch hands pleading for the voices to stop, however, they don't listen.